a good supervisor should "motivate" the student in a way that the student feels "guilty" not to work hard, and energetic to work as well. Blaming faults on the student is absolutely the most stupid thing a supervisor can ever do..

Looking at it from a different angle, your supervisor is a newish member of staff and you are her first PhD student. She was probably really pleased to get the chance and was near enough to her own PhD to try and be the dream supervisor - friendly, always supportive, getting you involved in other projects etc. Then came your viva and her senior colleagues make it very clear that they think there are some real flaws in your project. Now you are understably upset with the criticism but I bet she's been taken to task too and been told that she's not doing you any favours by not making sure your work is up to standard to pass the PhD. She's now trying to take that advice on board and work with you accordingly. This is awkward for both of you and from what you say neither of you is managing it well right now.

The question that occurs to me is - do you want to work with this woman any more? If not, simply go to whoever is responsible for PhD students and tell them you want to change to someone who's more able to help you rejig your project in response to the criticisms of it. You say they're abstract so I guess they're methodological or theoretical so there may well be someone better. You could use that time to make a formal complaint but I'd imagine she's already been told off for inadequate supervision.
If you do want to continue working with her, then I'd suggest being very businesslike in the next few meetings. Go in with precise questions about the criticisms and how to fix them and force her into agreeing a road map with you to move it forward. The most helpful thing you can do is try to separate the project and its pros and cons from your own self worth. Look at it like a car that needs fixing - something you wouldn't take personally.

I think it's really hard when you start a PhD. On the whole up to then you've always been praised at university, you've been one of the better students etc and then suddenly nothing you do is quite good enough. But it is your supervisor's job to critique your work as they want you to pass at the end of the day. And they get regular criticims too so she does know how it feels - I've seen some of the student evaluations of my supervisor's teaching and some of the rejections she's had from journals (to make me feel better). Put it like this - there are some nasty academics around but nothing beats a spiteful undergrad for really hurtful attacks

Hi bewildered,

I have re-read your posts few times and that's actually quite a good perspective. I have a feeling that most of what you have said is actually true in this situation. It's obvious that she has trouble dealing with all this too as she now goes from being very harsh and critical one day to e-mailing me a very supportive e-mail the next. It's just a mess. Part of me would like to ask her to step off the project but I'm afraid that this will look bad for her career and I still have some sense of loyalty to her. Besides that, her background is most relevant to my project out of anyone in the department. I'm also worried that her motivation to help re-define my project now is dropping and it's certanly not helping that I'm so upset about all this that I'm barely doing any real work myself. Given that I'm getting two additional people on my supervisory panel now I guess I will try to be as proffesional as I can and just keep going.

hmm, theoretically yes, you can expect your supervisor to change. but seems like she is not professional yet at all; do you want to run the risk of a "torturing" PhD with her? it will definitely help when you get several supervisors.

How about scheduling some 1 to 1 meetings with these new members of your panel and try to get them to be specific about the problems and what they think needs doing? You haven't got that personal relationship with them so it might be easier for you to stay composed.
You could tell your main supervisor that obviously your priority is to fix the problems so you have her advice now, you're going to get advice from the other two and then think it over for a few weeks and get back to her with new ideas. That would give both of you a break and time to think things over. It's exam board time for the undergrads now so she's probably desperately trying to finish marking and deal with problems with her tutees - she might be much more refreshed and able to think about your project in a couple of weeks time.