Wow! I've wish I'd joined this thread earlier. Its wickid!

As per usual, words of wisdom from Juno, and Apollo too - I know the feeling all too well! I wondre if sex will ever be prescribed on the NHS

Why, because you aren't getting enough?

Going back to jradetzky, I feel a bit sorry for him. Affection is such an important part of being a human, I couldn't imagine life without it. You obviously know what you want and what you need. It makes sense in a way, of why you were so interested in that girl. The 2 year "courtship" was obviously attractive to you because of the lack of physical relationship but you obviously need to understand, that after marriage, she would be expecting a normal loving relationship, something that you wouldn't be able to give her.

I wonder how much hand cream he gets through...

To Apollo:

>And quite frankly, I think you are depressed because of your non->existant sex life.

I admit that I'm depressed, but not because of this reason. I just can't get over the idea that my dream girl, my theoretical ideal that showed up so unexpectedly, the only one I've ever fallen in and cried for in my whole life, will be marrying someone else in 3 years time. It's like, if I ever end up with someone else, that one will not have my whole heart because a splinter from it will remain forever in posession of that angelical girl. The problem is that she can't give it back to me something which she never asked for. It seems so unfair.

To DJWicked:

Yeah, this thread is real wicked. So much that it has the most visits in the forum. Perhaps we could ask for a share from the sponsor's ads or something.

jradetzky, yep love is unfair but trust me, however perfect she is like every one else she'll have flaws. Part of love is recognising and accepting our partners flaws, infact thats part of life period! Something actually we probably need to remember on this thread a little, so I'll apologise for my earlier out burst Another thing, if you don't achieve your dream of being with this girl, you will recover! It may hurt, but thought I'd never get over my ex and 4 years down the line I'm nuch happier with someone else! Funny thing is he's not the type I'd thought I'd end up with, but widened my horizons and boy am I glad I did!

jradetzky, are you from Finland?

Jradetzky, how old are you? The reason I'm asking is you remind me a little bit of myself when I was 10 years old (without offence). I was in primary school and fell in love with this girl. Obviously I did not know anything about sex and had never kissed a girl before, still it broke my heart when she did not want to be my "girlfriend". In class I wrote her a letter and told her to tick the box if she wants to be my girlfriend or not or maybe. She ticked "no". It took me 3 years to recover from this.

In case you are 30 years old, maybe you are just too young to know what you want in life. Maybe you are too young to plan your entire life and make irreversible decisions concerning sex life and so on.

Just relax, finish your PhD at OXBRIDGE, then take a year off and a holiday in Spain or whereever and soon you will realise that life is not just publications, impact factor and RAE. Maybe you will even find a girl and have sex and then you will see that life has a lot more to offer.

ULUG, I have made a thread for you in the off-topics section.

Some of the replies on this post make me feel pretty uncomfortable. This guy potentially has a psychiatric illness and he has been mocked, told to get over it, told to get some sex, told to go on holiday and it will all get better, told not to bother seeking help for it.
I may not like some of jradsetzky's opinions on life and love, but if the guy suspects he might be mentally ill he needs to go and get some help for it, not be mocked by people on an internet forum.

so what are you trying to tell us?

If somebody is studying for a PhD at OXBRIDGE we could expect him to be able to seek advice himself and not to go on an Internet forum for serious advice. We are not mocking him, in fact he is mocking himself through ridiculous statements. Calm down.

I don't know, I really don't know. SPD sounds a bit extreme to me. Of the symptoms you mention I can probably hold my hand up to 2 or 3 of them, but that's because I'm naturally shy. Back to books again, this list reminds of those self-diagnosis medical books you consult when you've just sneezed, so you consult the list of symptoms and it basically tells you that you're probably going to be dead within 24 hours. In this regard, books are dangerous if they are taken too literally.

Your postings don't strike as someone who is asexual either. You do talk of love and kissing and making love (albeit several years down the line). I'm no doctor, but are you just a very shy person who has over-analysed the courtship process, by chance?

Ok, maybe mocking is not the word I was looking for: patronising is probably more appropriate. Having had direct experience of someone not seeking help for mental illness until it was too late for them, it makes me very uncomfortable that someone, no matter how trivial their problem appeared to be to others, being discouraged from seeking advice because others think they are being a hypochondriac or attention seeking.

It certainly wouldn't harm to see a doctor. They will probably refer you to a sex counsellor. From what I understand about them, they start with the physical aspects and then move onto the mental reasons/stumbling blocks. Worth a go, you have nothing to lose.