yet know what they might make you aware of. Unfortunately, education within the confines of institutions doesn't necessarily equip people with the simple interpersonal skills that are essential in the 'outside world' but don't worry, these like so many other skills you possess can be learned!
Afterall, Jojo did post to this forum regarding this issue, so presumably they (he/she) is quite capable of discussing these issues with people, did you expect to find a MORE informed opinion here than someone out working in the field?!
Anyway, I could go on. Was that condescending enough?
Thanks.

I think it was more that this guy did not ask Jojo whether she wanted the help: he took it upon himself to act for her. This would have annoyed me a bit: he is assuming that she cannot help herself, and also (perhaps unwittingly) gives this impression to the people he is talking to.

He also wanted something from her in return (blatently) which is the worst reason to do something for someone.

Why have you concluded that this guy helping her is because he thinks she is incapable? Just out of interest, how long have you been looking for work? Has it been long enough such that getting a little help is possibly a wise course of action? With all due respect, this other person who you have been put in contact with does have a job and you don't, maybe you should accept that you don't actually know it all and she may well be able to offer some advice, she's been through what you're about to do already. Apart from giving out your contact detail without permission, which is rude but not unforgivable, this guy really hasn't done that much wrong.

Give the guy a break! He was just trying to do something nice. And for all of you who said that he must think jojo is incapable and helpless, I think it says more about you. If you react to everyone trying to help you by assuming they think you are incapable you could miss out on a lot. Even if nothing came of this introduction its always good to know more people in your general field. I agree with Adem that this guy didn't go about things in the right way, but everyone makes mistakes.

I think Jojo has the advantage over us because she knows the guy: i.e. she is in a better position than us to identify his motives. She has doubts about him, and I dare say she's smart enough to decide for herself whether those doubts are justified.

He may just be trying to be nice, but unfortunately (and I have personal experience of this) sometimes people who push their help onto you are trying to control you.

first and foremost, i find some comments here insulting - SammyYork: I have no comment to make to you. as Juno said, am the one who knows the guy and I don't need any of his help or anyone else's at that, particularly when its unsolicited.

Adem & JA - by the way - in the way of clarification, the person i was supposed to introduced to is also looking for a job. how does that help me? she recently called me asking me to meet up over coffee for tips on where she should be looking for jobs.

Hi Jojo. From the way i read your post, it seems to me that the guy is just trying to help. I do not know any other hidden attributes that he may have. Personally i would accept this help with an open mind, you never know where it may lead you. If in the end you get a job and become so successful, so what if it was someone else that nudged you in the right direction in the first place. That is one of the reasons we are here in this world. I did not get to where i am at the moment by not accepting all the help i could get. If i didn't i would have been stuck somewhere looking for a job in my field that may never have come.

All the best.

Generally I'd agree, Cryogenics, but I have met the odd bad egg.
Example: I was interviewed for a job (which led to my PhD, in the end). A "friend" insisted, despite my protests, on going to see the interviewer to tell them how great I was and how I must be given the job over the other candidates. Not only was this embarrassing (and morally dubious), this friend is now convinced that I only got the job because of her input, and tells me this constantly (particularly when she wants a favour).

I like to think that I would have got the job either way...but I think this is a good example of intrusive and unwanted "help". I just wanted to make a point that sometimes all is not what it seems.

Cyrogenics - thanks for your views, but I think it is important for you and everyone else to appreciate that am the one who knows the guy. with that in mind, i would agree with you in all other respects. this guy is not just 'helping me', he wants the credit for it and worse still, he fancies me and is using this as a way of getting 'close' to me.. so that when he asks, i'll feel like i owe something to him - which i don't- and accept him anyway. whilst everyone enjoys the chase, it's not great if you're been chased by someone you ain't interested in. there is nothing worse than that. any help within that context is just, for want of a better word, unhelpful.

apologies for the typos - 'been' was supposed to be 'being.'

Juno, i totally agree with you. Jojo, like i said earlier i do not know of any other hidden agenda but now that its clear, i now see your angle. The dude has surely got the wrong motives for wnating to help you. In that case, you're completely in the right the decline his offer (and advaces)

However, I am glad you are aware that it is not everyone who wants to help that has alterior motives