I think the best way to approach this is in a really professional way. Arrange to have a meeting with her and tell her its about the current situation and issues you want to highlight. Then at this meeting just tell her how you feel for example, "I feel that we are spending to long discussing endnote/referencing rather than getting to the point of my actual research and this worries me because I want to finish my PhD is less than 10years".

Ok, the finishing in less than 10 years is optional but I think you get the idea. If you put everything across really professionally, she can't object or bitch at you.

If this still doesn't work, you really need to talk to your main supervisor.

I agree that talking is the key and its the only way i can resolve the situation. I will do it... its just going to be scary...
I am glad that you guys think that its a problem...
do u think i am blowing this out of proportion?

No you are definately not. One of the major issues in a PhD is supervision and if you don't have a good supervisor, you're in trouble.

Good luck :)

OK I AM COMPLAINING - There is only so much i can take of this woman. We got in for a project bid. The bid is to do with my phd BUT it sponsoring me. According to university rules - i shud be paid for any involvmenet in a project- but becuase its to do with my phd she is saying no. I dont get paid for my involvkenmet on a project if i am being sponsored by it. I DONT UNDERSTAND.

erm??? please clarify ...