Also, I think it's interesting that everyone I know who has gone through similar experiences has only spoken about it afterwards (as I'm doing here!) At the time, you don't like to say anything, because even though you're broke for some reason sympathy makes you feel worse. I didn't even tell my close friends when my finances were at their worst - just made excuses not to go out. It's wierd. And a very difficult situation to cope with.

It's better this year but last year was hard. I'm funded and my husband works but between paying my own research costs (majorly sore point) and my daughters nursery fees money has been tight. I also don't feel I can justify going out to do anything much as I gave up my job to do this and it's not fair on my husband. And we don't go out together because we have no babysitter!

In years past i recall working in a bar and the manager asking me if I could discourage my student friends hogging the bar and drinking rounds of lime and soda.

Currently - it seems we all have different available cash. Some are clearly pretty skint and others are unexpectedly flush - via family I presume. My main problem is that being older my non-student friends all have more money to go out than I do and that can be akward. I've been badly caught out a couple of times agreeing to do something that has turned out to be more than I can afford.

I went in my "mature age" from a professional salary to being a student. YIKES! In some ways the transition was not as hard because I moved to another country to do it, so it was not a question of having to change a lifestyle in the middle of familiar surroundings. It was a total life style change--shared student accommodation!!! a bed so small I cannot roll over!!!! walking as my main mode of getting about, no more car!!! changing eating and shopping habits, in part because of having to walk! etc...

I got smart about how to shop and where to shop and how to manage my student budget. ( Remember my glee in getting to try a block of cheese in a cheese survey!!?? That seemed like such a treat!). I remembered my old student days of some years ago, and revived the habits of how to eat, etc, from those days...although no longer trying to squeeze beer into that budget!

You're definately not alone! I haven't been on a proper holiday for 6 years, I might go out once a month (if I'm lucky) and I sometimes caan't afford to pay for my travel to get to uni to do my work and I regard myself as luckier than most because I live with my partner and he earns so helps me out when he can. Without him, I'd have to live with my parents because I simply couldn't afford to live on my own. I think it's best, no matter how embarressing it is, is to just be honest and say you're skint but how about sitting out in the sun while it lasts? Or something similar. I think you'll find that most people will either offer to buy you a coffee or accept the alternative option you give them ;)

hey there,
i have a friend who is always broke. i know that that's the reason why she doesn't come do stuff because last year we were always broke together; i got funding in the mean time, she didn't. still, she never says anything like "i'd love to but can't afford it"; rather, she always says "i'm busy, i don't have time". i think that's a bad response as it makes people feel that you don't think them worth your time, rather than the truth, that you just can't afford it. so now i don't ask her "hey, shall we go out for coffee?" anymore, but rather "hey, can i buy you a cup of coffee?" and she agrees much more often!
but i only thought of doing that because i know her situation - i guess my point is, tell people the real reason!

I don't know if any of you already do this... but is there any way you can work with the disability office at your Uni and be a student support worker or a student mentor for undergraduate disabled students? or what about doing labs, marking exams etc?

I did all this and it REALLY topped up my research grant, not only that.. it really helped on my CV and it looked like I was a caring, wonderful person (Hahahahahahaha..... like that's true)...

It's really good cash if you can get those kinds of jobs and they don't have to take much time per week... it's usually quite flexible in the number of hours you can contribute.

Shani, you're right about being honest. It's definitely the best way. I started like your friend by telling people I was busy, because I was too embarassed to say that I had no money, but then I realised that I was giving off the wrong impression and people thought I was being off. It's a difficult situation to be in, because when you say you're absolutely skint, people don't take you seriously. They think you're exaggerating or something.

You are totally not alone on this -I have been so skint on ocassions that I've skipped meals, blown off coffee, and eaten noodles for dinner more times than I would care to remember.

I try and take packled lunch as much as possible, and will regard a coffee at uni as a treat. I'm vegan so sometimes there is absolutely nothing to eat at university anyway

Extra cash - I started today at my university library doing casual exam period shelving in the library. I'm doing it just on saturdays until the end of term to help cope with the undergaduate exam rush. Ask in your library.

It is pretty exhausting, a little boring - but I keep thinking of the sweet, sweet money!

I'm finding the whole budgeting aspect of PhD life quite hard. All my friends are 'non-PhD'ers and in full time work. Therefore, I'm always asked out but find that I constantly have to make excuses. I tell them I'm broke but I think it's a hard concept for people to get their head round if they're in full time employment, without kids etc. I try to keep up but find I can't and like you, Bellaz, have cried about it! So you're not alone! On the up side, when you do buy something, don't you find you really appreciate it? Probably more than you would do normally? Anyway, chin up! It's not forever!

i for one really enjoyed window-shopping when i was broke. then i never had to decide if i really wanted to buy this, or that, or anything at all... i just knew i didn't have the money. so i would walk through the shops mentally making lists of all the things i would buy the day i got some cash, i loved that.

now my financial situation is better, but have i bought all those things? obviously not - many of them would be a complete waste of money. but when broke, you don't have to worry about those kind of things

I am lucky to be on a studentship, but living in London is not easy.
When I had a major 'financial crisis', I mentioned it to my supervisor and he arranged some note-taking job for me, which was great.

Shani, your post made me giggle because I did the exact same thing when I was a poor MA student, then I started working full time and realised I didn't even like buying things all that much! All the fun was in the looking and anticipation.