As for natural sleeping aids, melatonin (available online) is really excellent. Will knock you out, but does not have unpleasant side effects as is just a (synthetic?) hormone. I use this if my sleeping patterns are out of whack. After a while, you just end up feeling sleepy without taking it. If you want something less strong, serotonin in pill-form is also excellent & makes you pleasantly sleepy.

Hi Smilodon. I have always had problems sleeping, and I find that things like antihistamines really work (Benadryl). I wash them down with a cup of camomile tea. Also, I have found that Valerian is really helpful (herbal remedy which you can get from health food stores). You can get it in different forms (tea, pills or extract).

SJ - the problem is I think if I don't get a grip on this now it is going to go on like this for the rest of the year. Perhaps I'm pushing too hard but I just HAVE TO submit this year. My husband has just been telling me that maybe I should cut back a little and it will just take as long as it takes but I just don't want to hear it!

I think I will check out a few herbal/non-prescription aids and also maybe find some novel or TV more suitable for winding down than some of the stuff I tend to watch.

Beleive me, I totally understand - as it stands at the moment I'm weeks away from submitting and working up to 15 hours a day writing and don't remember the last day I didn't get up at 6am to write -

to add to the stress my new boss just emailed asking if I was still on target for starting in 4 weeks and I had to tell him probably not -
I've had a headache for about the last 2 weeks, backache, fitful sleeping and the rest - haven't left my house in about 3 weeks

Top all of this off with the new job being in the states - having to sell a house,in this market etc etc etc

went off on a bit of a rant there - sorry

I'm off to watch the simpsons

Oh but on a serious note - your husband is right! it will take as long as it takes

my biggest problem has been agreeing to be finished way before I knew I could be - giving unrealistic goals is not a good thing - and you don't need to add to your stress at this point

I sympathise. We've just sold our house but it has been a nightmare - much slower than expected and had to drop the price quite a lot. Hoping to move in June - just another thing to add to the to do pile.

Where are you off to in the US? Hope it gets sorted out OK and fantastic to be submitting soon . We just got back from NY/PA - my husband is American.

The central problem for me always comes back to the trade-off between quality of work and quality of parenting.

Off to watch some trashy TV - so trashy I'm not going to tell you what it is!

You are very right. I have been thinking about over the last few hours and it just will not work to be so pig-headed about it. I will aim for Xmas - but more realistically I would hope that would be a complete first draft to my supervisor (heaven forbid that proves to be unrealistic!).

We are off to Virginia - provided I don't get fired first

yes at the moment we are faced with leaving our house here unsold and to top that off, despite 7 years experience (and for a whole load of beurocratic crap) my wife won't be able to work for about 6 months

So I'll be paying for a house here, a flat in the states and for both of us to live on my Psot Doc salary

There I go again - sorry - think I need a cookie

Don't get me wrong I'm looking forward to it a lot - but I've never been more stressed - and a lot of it could have been avoided by me being more realistic about when I'd submit - my Bad!

I feel the pain for you Smilodon and SJO--its a big move to another country and new job and I hope all goes well for you, and that the pieces fall into place. The stress of it all is surely no fun. And Smilodon, like you, I am trying to figure out the realistic deadline for submission of my thesis...just did a master work plan...but will review with my supervisor tomorrow ( along with a growing list of other things!) to see what is what. I am still at the university!!!!!!!!!!!! Its time to go home because insomnia or not I need to pretend to try to sleep and be up early to get at it all again.......! At least misery loves company and its somehow reassuring to know I am not the only one feeling really wired and stressed.

You will like Virginia SJO--it will all be worth it when you get there. Its a great state with a lot of variety, mountains, ocean, the tourist bits of DC are great, a lot of history ( for America), etc. One side of my family comes from there, so its a place I think fondly of. Hang in there!

Hey Olivia, thanks - we went out there for a visit in November and it was lovely - such a pretty place.

I would say in regards to deadlines, that I always knew how long it would really take- I predicted June and will end up being pretty much spot on - I have tried for some unrealistic goals - but in the end I've never met one of them and it can be very! demoralising - much better to be realistic but don't give yourself too much time, you still need some pressure to keep you at it

SJO I wish you the best in getting things sorted and getting your writing up done and your move to the US successfully done. It has got to be hard to write up with an imminient overseas move and all its complications to deal with as well.

Smilodon, oh yes, I do remember the Evil Fluffy! Is he still up to his no-good kitty ways? Will he come along with you when you move house or is he a fixture that goes to the new home owners?

I am having horrible insomnia and stress. I am combatting it by just staying awake until I am tired, given the lack of TV or internet where I live, the choices are limited...and then I wake up the moment the sun comes up, so I just got up and got to my desk early, and am trying to be productive.

olivia, that sounds horrible!

do you know what is causing it? have you ruled out physical stuff and things like noise and light?

have you tried some of the things suggested in this thread? in my sleepless times i find it comforting to do things like make special teas, simply because it feels like i'm doing something about it...

sometimes insomnia is a reaction to being over-exhausted! maybe you just need a break?

Thanks for the sympathy Shani. There are some external events unrelated to the PhD that have contributed of late, and which are exacerbated by me being overseas! I try drinking tea before I go to bed, simple soothing herbal types of teas, and staying off caffeine past mid morning, gentle exercise, etc. I am in a sort of stress spiral that feeds on itself, I think, but will manage. Part of this is just going to be something I work through. I think that part of it as well is just due to the internalisation of stress, because of the lack of the type of friendship network I had at home.

I am realising the importance of friendships and social contacts as an antidote to stress, even if you are not pouring your heart out to those people, simply having the contacts and doing something with people is very stress relieving. The relative isolation of the PhD does not encourage forming these supportive networks, and so the day to day stressors you might vent to your other half/best friend/whomever about I simply just keep inside without anywhere to express it. I have tried to deal with this by some increased contact with support network at home, but that has its plusses and minuses--it can aggravate the feeling of being far away and alone as much as it can help.

It boils down to the need for a better network of friends in this country, even just casual friends, and I am trying to do things like meet people for coffee, etc., once or twice a week just to have that contact.