I have to admit my reply was a bit rude. That's what happens if painkillers stop working and the viva is looming on top- but no excuses so I hereby apologise for the tone of my earlier reply.

What I originally intended to express was nothing but "life is tough". Hierarchies seem to be very rigid in academia and PhD students are, after all, students and should not expect better treatment than Undergraduate Students from admins and faculty. However, the issue with the payment is pretty annoying - I hope it will be sorted out quickly.

Hey Jouri: nothing is worse than toothache/dental pain. When I had to have my root canal done I was in so much pain that I couldn't sit still, let alone hold a polite conversation. Hope it gets fixed soon.

To clairfy: it was the toothache that was painful, not the dental work. That was (honestly) painless.

It's one thing to say you 'shouldn't' have to put up with something - but if you can't change it (and an ingrained working culture is not easily changed) than you do have to put up with it.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I've been reading "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama; he talks about developing "inner stability", so that external events don't affect your feelings. For example, if someone is rude to you, you think "Great! Here's a good opportunity to practise patience"; instead of bopping them on the head.

Easier said than done, though.

I practise that a lot with my 3 yr-old....

======= Date Modified 31 Oct 2008 17:10:54 =======
Sometimes ( often!) I am reminded of my favourite quote by Frank Zappa: "Its not getting any brighter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity and make it work for you! "

Another gem: "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity."
Nick Diamos
http://www.coolquotes.com/stupidity.html

Hi Twinkle :-)

It is difficult when everyone and everything seems to be against you, and it is extra hard when you cannot find/ or do not know who to go to to get the things sorted out. One thing though it is always preferable to talk nicely to these people, even if you would like to do something entirely different!

The money thing is something that shouldn't have happened, have you been to see them to see why this has happened - or more importantly, have you asked what date you should go and see them to make sure the next payment is going through OK, perhaps you could make out you are the one who is a bit dippy about this just to make them feel good. It doesn't have to be true of course.

Here everything is geared around full time students, which leaves there rest of us out in the cold for a lot of things, like the new barrier cards for the car parks, I was in the library a day or so ago and there was a notice saying that the cards were not ready as expected in their previous message (even though no message had been sent to me) but that they would soon be in operation, so how are those of us without a card going to get in then??? Things always happen at a time to suit those who are around all day and the rest of us are conveniently forgotten. But hey, that's just part of the system, a gentle reminder usually gets something done or else you go by another route, like when the dragon at reception said I couldn't claim something, I just sent it elsewhere.

Don't give up because you are fed up at the moment, pause a bit and think it through. What will you lose by giving up (disregard the endless re-writes, the brick walls that you encounter, people who annoy you, or don't do things the way you think they should of course) and don't forget that the world will not have the opportunity to read your work, and you won't get quoted in millions of best selling books, get your name in lights, get an oscar, or be able to say 'I told you so' to the teacher who said you would never do it! :-)

Hello Twinkle! You bet I'm fed up! especially when my supervisor, who's only just finished 2 years ago and never had a Phd "student" before, insists on speaking to me like to her masters flock.....And by the way, i used to have that screen-name elsewhere and love it!:-)