awww Jojo, I know how you feel. I was going through a very depressing day yesterday, where i felt like i was no way going to be able to write a thesis that's even decent and meet my sept deadline, and that in a weeks time, my main supervisor was going to tell me , that i a a complete idiot and i dont deserve a phd!
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i think it's normal for every phd student to have doubts and fears. doing a phd is very hard, and emotionally and psychologically draining.

hang in there Jojo. you have been doing so well!

and like Joan Bolkers says, its easier to improve on the writing you have done, the hardest part is getting the stuff down now matter how crap you *think* it is, there probably is alot of rough diamonds, that just need some polishing.

you're doing so great Jojo!! you've inspired me to work hard! i think there will always be days where we doubt our capability, we just have to fight those demons and push through the pain barrier...

i will keep you company tonight. it's going to be an all nighter for me, i have to email my supervisor with results section of one of my chapter by tommorow morning..

i am feeling hungry though. i told myself i cant have dinner unless i was complete. so just had popcorn today whilst i was working on my computer..

i'm right behind ya Jojo! if it wasn't for your online writing diary and this forum, i would have given up writing my thesis. and succumbed to just failing and not even trying.

don't worry yourself about what they will say about your work. at least you're trying and have work to show them. better than showing them a blank piece of paper. the point is, that you're trying, and that's what really counts!!!

Remember what BB said, that psychologists were saying that the best way to write first, was to first write loads and loads of rubbish, and then edit it later, and polish it up.
people who write like that, are more productive and will unlock something very interesting and inspiring, that they didnt even know they knew! those type of people are much more productive than those who plan meticulously and try to write perfect first time. no one can write perfect first time. no such thing!

thanks Lara for your encouragement. i cried myself to sleep yesterday. though it felt bad at the time, i feel like i've got all the pressure out of my system. its a new day and an opportunity to give that chapter another go and hand in tomorrow. i can then say i've done four draft chapters.

i understand, sometimes crying and releasing built up and pent up frustration is our bodies way of releasing it. that's what i did last saturday, i cried all day, because i felt i was going to fail, and there was no point carrying on...

i am proud of you, for pushing through.

and having 4 draft chapters is very excellent!! i wish i had that! at the moment i have no draft chapters. so you're my inspiration, to get cracking and produce my drafts..

good luck with your work today!!! you can do it!

thanks Lara. keep going, you'll get there in to time. the beginning is the hardest part and you've already past that. will keep you posted on how am getting on.

i just submitted my crap chapter. at least i've got it off my chest.

*celebrates with Jojo* way hey! here's to submitting crap chapters!


exactly! you did it. so proud of you. and i am sure it's not as crap as you think. you've infintely improved on what you started with! so well done you...

thanks for your encouragement also.

cheers Lara,

am trying to come up with a draft of the final chapter, after taking yesterday off. over time am thinking that a September submission won't be possible with my supervisor taking ages to read my work and with the many corrections he comes up with. but we will see how things go. some positive thinking ey......

well you just do the best you can do, and then the rest leave it up to fate. as long as you are doing your best.

so if you dont submit by sept, its no big deal? you dont fail or anything? why did you want to submit by sept?

i just wanted to put it all behind me and get on with my life. but hey, like you say... its not the end of the world.

i totally understand the wanting to get it over and done with and having a life again!

how's your writing going today? i'm working in 10 minute burts, with my egg timer lol. not that i have a break after the 10minutes or anything, i just start the timer again lol. feel hungry though, might have a banana.

am working in this library. trying to learn a new theory. funny enough i've been having a productive day today. i've also had a bad day - clashing with friends. men!!!!!!! i want to stay very far away from them. all they do is bring you down- they never want to see a woman doing well for herself. ok, enough of my rant - you get the picture. i find more fulfillment in my work than in life these days.

well done on having a productive day!

yah i've shut myself away from the drama of "life" and right now, all i think about or try to think about is my thesis. i'm a hermit lol.

yah i know what you mean about men.

good luck with learning the new theory.

who else is spending their weekend in a library? am off to library... hopefully by looking through loads and loads of books i can actually figure things out. am with you Lara on that. i think a time comes when the drama has to be shut out til submission - whenever that is. just that friends don't get it and try to make your life hell.

yesterday i met another friend who had a friend over who seemed keen on knowing who i was. conversation goes...., "what do you do in your free time?" i can't remember the last time i thought of free time. so i said, "nothing i'd like to talk about on a friday night". i wasn't gonna say i spend my time in the library.... in the office or some place like that... and then start getting all these questions about my PhD. conversation went on and then came the question that just ruined the night - 'Are you boring?' I just looked at this guy and living for the moment, doing his 9-5 job which he claims to be boring and now he was trying to bring me down?