I'm 8 months into my PhD and recently got engaged, originally we were planning to get married after finishing my PhD but now were are thinking in about 2 years time. It's all very exciting and i don't forsee any problems in my department they are all very "normal"

Most of my fellow countrypeople (somewhere in Latin America) doing PhDs in the UK start their studies already married. On the one hand, that's pretty cool, because they already have all the emotional support they need when things are rough, but on the other, they're missing on all the great people who could be good life partners over here. I mean, the UK's the only place where I've met people I empathise with at a deeper level, so that I'm thinking of marrying someone here. However, if she's also a PhD, what if our careers take us to different places? Does marriage between two PhDs work at all?

I was married during my BSc. It didn't work and we're still friends (and technically still married . This sounds terrible but I could never do without the kids but I would quite like to not have to worry about having a partner that I was neglecting.

Once you get past studying and spending time with the kids I really don't have time (emotional or real) to spend with my bloke. I have good friends for the supporting roles and though I have to be there if they need me I have no committments in the way you do with a spouse.

Then again maybe I'm just the jaded, not-quite-divorcee.

I got married at the end of the second year of my PhD. The wedding was fantastic (and yes, we're still married :)!) but I can honestly say that there was about a 3 month hiatus in my PhD productivity - don't think I did any work at all in the few weeks prior to the big day!

But all you guys who got married during PhDs etc, are you a bit older, i.e. did you not go straight from school to BSc etc etc, do you think it makes a difference being older? What about your husbands, are they the same age as you?

I want to get married (but ssshhh because my boyfriend hasn't asked yet), and wouldn't bother me getting married during my PhD. I suppose money would be an issue though seeing as the average wedding is now £15,000 or something similar which would be hard to afford on a stipend if your parents weren't able to help you out.

hi
i'm 24, getting married in 8 months (will be at the end of my 2nd year) I started my PhD straight after uni. It's an exciting time!

Mine is in 6 months, I can't wait until its over. Why do people keep asking me if I'm excited? I'm not, its a drag and a waste of money

Bobby, yes I'm older I had a break of about 7 years before goinf back to do my PhD.

To everyone who is considering getting married while doing a PhD though, it's probably the best time in terms of organising a wedding.
A friend of mine got married shortly after I did, she works in a 9-5 non-flexitime job and found it difficult to get appointments for dress fittings, catering meetings, etc as she only really had Saturdays to contend with. I didn't have that problem as being a student meant that I was more flexible with time.

i am new to this site but need some advice from other students who may be in my situation. i am entering my third year and have already started my writing but still have some work to do. Is it possible for me to complete my work and write up if i have a baby??i would be grateful if any has any experience of this or if it would just be mad!

Do you mean being preggers and writing up or actually writing up with the baby having been born?

i mean bring pregnant while still working/writing and then actually having baby when writing!

Its a terrible idea. While your colleagues are scheduling their personal lives around their academic interests, you will be scheduling your academic interests around your personal lives. Even having a demanding girlfriend can be very difficult.

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I got married at the end of my first year of my PhD (when I was 25 and my husband was 30) - I handed my Upgrade Report in on the Weds, got married on the Friday and then my upgrade interview 5 days after I got back from my honeymoon!

I don't think the wedding really interfered with my academic work, I just did all the wedding planning at the weekends/in the evening and kept my PhD 9-5 (ish!). It depends on your working habits but planning a wedding doesn't need to distract you from academic life - that said, it will if you let it!

Because of the time of my wedding/honeymoon, as soon as I handed in my upgrade report, I didn't have time to worry about its content, so I just sort of forgot about it until I got back. Then I was really refreshed and had a clear head for the 5 days before the interview which allowed me to prepare properly.

:-)

I married aged 22, just a month or so before starting a full-time PhD. I had to leave that in the end, due to falling seriously ill with a progressive neurological disease. But being married has worked out very well. I'm still happily married, nearly 17 years later. My husband was a total rock. Though he also started (and completed) a full-time PhD too, in the same department. So he totally understood what was involved. He also supported me when I started a part-time PhD later in a totally different discipline, which I successfully completed.

Getting married is one of the best things I have ever done. I would not generalise about whether other people should or not, or at what age. But it worked for me.