spacey, I just wanted to let you know that I was talking to a couple of third year PhD students yesterday, and both of them expressed the same feelings you're having. One of them told me that he still hasn't presented at a conference because of his fear of presenting his work to an audience, and the other one experienced a 6 month freeze, where he couldn't do anything because he was feeling such low confidence. It just shows you that most of us go through this, and just battle through it somehow. I just wanted to reassure you that you're not alone, and that many of those around you will be going through something similiar, even if they don't express it to others.
I myself have to fight low self-confidence every day. I went through a really bad patch a few months ago. I just couldn't concentrate on anything. I would find myself reading something, and then realise that I hadn't taken anything in, and was just looking at the pages, everything in a blur. I was overwhelmed by the theory I was reading, and just couldn't get my head around it at all. Also, I was thinking 'I'm never going to be able to produce anything like this!' I got scared, because I thought that I just wouldn't be able to do it. Then, after speaking to others about this, I found out that alot of us are baffled by some of the criticism we read, and I wasn't alone in feeling confused and not being able to process it.
Did any of you ever reach a time when you felt terrified and unsure as to whether the PhD was right for you?
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During my 3.5 years of PhD I 80% of time had feeling that I am not a PhD material, that I should have done anything else, that I will never finish etc. etc. I have finished, and apparently my supervisor is excited about my PhD:) So, keep going:)
@ verdy, that is inspiring!!! I have serious doubts as to whether I will ever finish at the moment... but I have resigned myself to keep going and try to make just a little bit of progress every day and maybe I will get there eventually! If not at least I can say I tried and it wasn't a wasted opportunity...
Did you ever start to feel (I mean during your PhD) that you were 'getting there' and that you would be successful in the end? And if so, at what stage... just curious!!! I am in my third year now and I still don't feel I am anywhere near the finish line...
@ spacey... Yes I have felt like that, many times - you are most certainly not alone! My entire second year was a disaster and I really considered leaving around that time. But then I realised that I would be throwing away a great opportunity (and 2 years of work!!!) so I reconsidered. I think I would always look back and think 'if only I'd tried a bit harder and stuck it out'. I still have next to no confidence about my work though so I can't really give advice on how to overcome that But I think I would rather try and fail than not try at all.
Rosy, glad to hear that my experience can inspire somebody:):) Honestly, the feeling that I definitely will get there appeared only in the last three months of writing up. But it could be very personal, I generally suffer from low self-confidence:( Most important thing is to keep going despite everything and to reward for yourself for every thing you have managed to achieve. Good luck!
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