Saying a PhD with children is no fun is like saying a job with children is no fun: it works for some, it doesn't for others. Numerous factors come into play such as number of children, ages, income from other (e.g. partner) sources, supportiveness of partner, family and friends, motivation, and so forth -- as others have quite clearly stated.
With any kind of full-time education it's tempting to allow it to take over one's life, though this is not necessarily the optimal way of working.

phoenix6254...a couple of questions:

1. Are you funded and if so how much?
2. Does your other half intend to work? Indeed, is said person allowed to (i.e. are they an EU citizen)?

If people waited until an ideal time to have children, then its likely no one would ever have children, because there would always be some pressing issue like the mortgage, the job, the PhD, wanting to go out and party with friends, etc. A PhD is just a fine a time to have kids as any other--as people's individual circumstances vary greatly. Frankly, 6 hard hours of work on my PhD and I am ditheringly braindead. Thats HARD hours, not hours spent surfing the internet and posting on here...its applied, hard, thinking abstractly, etc, where I am so tired at the end I need a nap, literally. I am exhausted.

Other people's work habits and the effect on them may vary, but the point being, I think its hard to do PhD studies more than 8 hours a day... if you are applying yourself and not wasting time. So a PhD is no more than a job in terms of the time it takes up, and it certainly has the benefit of a flexible schedule. There may be less income from a student grant or whatever, but its possible to cut way back on things and still have a decent life style. TV could be the first to go! When I got my JD, the student population with the highest marks were expectant and new mums. Having children seemed to enhance their legal studies, not hinder them!

Well...I don't want to get into this too much cos my insensitive gob upset people last time . I think (now) that Olivia and co are largely correct in that most people can do it, others (including me)cannot. But...I'm not sure about the argument that there will never be a "good" time to have children. Plenty of people identify ideal times in their life to have children - if you cannot foresee that you ever will, then it may be that your lifestyle is not suited to children.

Other than that: I wish the OP the best of luck.

Actually on this subject, a soon-to-be student at our group told us last week that she will send her baby to live with her mother (in another country) for the duration of her PhD. I think my supervisor was a little taken aback at this, considering it a huge and needless sacrifice. I don't know how many (or if any) other people have done this, but she (the new student) seemed pretty happy with it.

I am very interested in this thread because I am thinking of starting a family next year while on the PhD. This, for me, is perceived to be a 'good' time because my partner works from home and earns a good wage and I am funded, so get 6 months paid maternity leave. However, there are probably a million people who would say I am stupid for doing this and will jeopardise my PhD and my children's development. There are probably a million people who would say 'wait until afterwards!' to which I say - 'but I will have to wait until I have finished and am settled in my new job in about 4 years time - so I get maternity and am not on benefits. When is it a good time to have a baby when in full time work?' ...

... And another million people would say 'don't work at all ever if you want to have children! Don't use your PhD, it is your responsibility as a mother to stay at home and look after your children!' To which I say 'pah! I will bring mine up as I see fit for them and for me' Where is the middle ground guys? What are we to do? And why on earth do people on this forum generalise so freely?!! Surely one person's situation or, indeed, straw poll cannot dictate another's choices?! Or why have free choice at all? And finally, why do people go on and on and on about doing a PhD like it is the be all and end all of life - even more than a job?! I think it is better and more family-flexible than a job, particularly for a woman.

Rant over.

Juno - she hasn't had the baby yet. let's see what she thinks after the birth. If she thinks it's fine to sacrifice bonding with her child - well, I'd be surprised. I've heard this kind of talk before - before the birth.

Janey - that's a fine plan but DO NOT think that someone can combine working from home with childcare. That is not possible. Many people find this out the hard way. You will need childcare of some sort.

Juno - by your thinking no-one should have children unless they can stop work for 5+ years. In reality, that is not most people. I wonder what you think is an ideal time?

I did not exactly plan this although it certainly wasn't an accident. It IS tough I find - but I suspect I am under more pressure than some people and my future job arena is certainly firghtenly competitive. If push came to shove though, my camily comes first, and happily, my supervisor totally understand that and (despite the competition and the pressure) does not expect me to put work first.

A lot depends on childcare. If you are the main carer then you have to decide whether you you can get or want good fullt-time childcare. I opted for 3 days/week and that has made it more of a struggle. I wouldn't want to be a full-time mom though. I'd go totally bananas. So it's a good mix in some ways - but challenging in others.

thank you guys so much for sharing your perspectives, positives and negatives, that's what its all about really -- its all in your perspective and outlook to life i guess. my sincere thanks to academicmom - being a positive person myself, i've learned to challenge myself. On the practical side tho, i must add that we are financially stable, having worked for 10 years, and the kids are 6 and 2, so i dont think i'd jeopardise their life much. I am also fortunate to have a very supportive partner.

As we are coming from overseas, I'd like to know how much it costs roughly for a month, renting on campus, travel etc in the midlands..thanks very much!!

No Smilodon, I did not mean to suggest that. I just have heard (another type of straw poll) a lot of relatives actually use the expression "now is a good time to start a family". Obviously some times are better than others; but if no time is ever a "good" time for you, then I wonder why you would do it! It's possible to make room in your life for a good experience of childrearing, surely? If it's not going to be a good experience, then why do it?

But I did not intend to sound critical; each to their own, in the end.

By the way this student's child is over a year old now. I don't know what will finally happen, though.

Well, I think it's pretty sad that someone would send their child away to do anything other than through necessity to put bread on the table (which is also sad in a different way of course). Even boarding schools don't usually kick in until 5.

I get what you're saying about making time for it to be a good experience, but in reality, it's as Dickens says 'the best of times and the worst of times' and most people set their own personal stress limit in order to experience the better bits. Personally I think the ideal is a longish maternity leave followed by part-time study or work. I thought I had that in order - but I am under more time-pressure than than I would have preferred.

I can't give as glowing report as Academicmum but the picture she paints of the working alternative is exactly what makes me nervous about a full-time academic post.

Well, we suggested the university creche but she didn't seem keen: not sure why. And it's not due to pressure from the uni that she's sending her away; my supervisor couldn't care less whether students have kids or not. Anyway, we'll see.

I reckon we'd all be better off if fathers got the same maternity pay as mothers. Then there'd be no interview discrimination. And you can bet if this problem affected men there'd be some quick solutions from the government.