Thanks for your update and a huge WELL DONE for getting this far depsite everything. Your posts always give me a warm fuzzy feeling when I read them as it is so inspiring to read about how amazingly well you have coped with everything life has thrown at you. Can;t wait for the future post when you will be Dr Heidi. What a fantastic role model Bea has :-)

WELL DONE for all your hard work - you are within touching distance of the finish :-). I hope you have something nice planned for when you hand in - whether it be a glass of wine, a chocolate cake or a day out and ice cream with Bea. I shall certainly be congratulating you from afar come next weekend.

I realise that from a stranger it means little but thought it important to point out how immensely proud of yourself you should be. From the sound of it, things have been worse than awful and you have faced it all, dug your heels in and got on with what needed to be done. I wish you and your little one all the best and look forward to reading the post that is signed 'Dr Heidi' :-)

THANK YOU!!

I am having an emotional.....general lunatic day....so your little words mean A LOT....even made me misty eyed! Thank you. Warm fuzzy feeling received loud and clear from your submission and felt accordingly snuggly!

So....I was almost in a panic....about hand-in tomorrow.....and like a gift from the GODs of PhDs.....I found out I have another week......thank goodness. Hand-in: Sunday night - 17th June 2012

Plenty of snagging to get sorted...plus a conclusion to sort out - might happen to be 6.7% over the word limit too....never mind.

So here it is...sat on my desk printed out....all 400 pages. I'm tired. Wrote a third of it in two months!

A small part of me is proud...most of me dreads being told of all the little things I should have sorted out and did not have the time or energy to do so.

I hope to be moving from Jersey back to Bath on Monday. Currently, husband refusing (again) to sign the paperwork to let Bea and I come home. Unless I sign a piece of paper saying we will not claim for anything ever!! Crikey-bob-ski. I must not sign that piece of paper no matter how desperate I get. And I am desperate....I am lonely and tired...and in need of a HUG. in fact HUGs on tap. For now Beas little chubby hugs will do (even with her sniffles).

Goodness I'm so tired. Every morning Bea gets me up and five and then I work through until midnight...If I can get through this and write a PhD under these conditions, it just shows that it is possible people.

Still, I do remember very well...when I could not write a word...in fact I felt sick at the thought of writing anything. I understand those feelings.

So in the middle of my storm - where Bea and I sit curled up in our rowing boat - we have had the best support from you all - I don't even know your real names....I have no supervisor (because he has family difficulties) no second supervisor (because she has personal difficulties). Thus nobody has read my work ever. Scary times.

I have published a lot in referred journals though....lets hope that stops the boat sinking.

Thank you, with every speck of love from Heidi and Bea

Hi Heidi,

We've never 'spoken' before but I've been following your 'story' since your first post - I've only just joined here but I've been browsing (and nosing!) other posts for months now! I just want to say, I think you've done really well, with all the negative things that have happened to you recently and managing to juggle being a mum and doing a PhD at the same time. I'm glad things seem to be better for you now and I wish you luck.

“Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.”

I'm on the rude side of the clock again...we have got to know each other a lot lately. Sat here at my desk...looking at my printing PhD. Ended up 98,000 plus appendices, reference and the 18 publications.

I read back through the original post - it really knocked me - that is a lot of sadness in one little post.

I feel like this little website saved me. Honestly, it really did.

Sometimes you only need one person to believe in you - and that is enough. I was so lucky to have a few people say some very thoughtful, caring and good advice.

I wish I had a huge cheesecake - then I would find you all (in a non-stalking sense)! and deliver cheesecake. I would bake it myself for you all!

Now - I have a dilemma -

I have the deadline on Monday - viva booked for the 18th July.

However, I have no supervisor - so nobody has ever read it. And due to life and all that has happened even I have not re-read it.

I know there are lots of silly mistakes that I can repair easily - but it takes time. Probably (with a baby) a month.

So, do i ask for more time - to polish (wax on wax off style)

Or do I just go for it.....

I have nobody else to ask - so any answers would be more then delightful, hippo squeezes, Heidi

======= Date Modified 14 Jun 2012 07:59:21 =======
Hi Heidi,

Tricky... I'd be tempted to try and read it myself over the weekend then stick with the original hand in date, however I guess it would be better to ask for an extension rather than submit and then get corrections... however I guess if you ask for an extension then it'll delay your viva right? Is there no way you'll be able to read it through by Monday?

I guess what I'm trying to say - badly - is that it's your choice whether you do corrections now, or after viva. But it might be better to submit a polished thesis in a month's time rather than end up with major corrections afterward. Gosh I've confused myself now - I'm in the middle of writing up myself so my brain is everywhere, sorry! :-)

Hi Lindalou!

Thank you for your advice...I called up my internal examiner (namely because I have no supervisory team whatsoever!) ....I am free falling as they say. His advice was this. Hand it in. (laughter..from me nervously - not him!). So I am going to do exactly that. i am going to GO FOR IT......I know the first 6 chapters are good. So I shall concentrate on chapter 7-10 - then references and appendices. It is a lot of work. Most of which is literally just manual brainless stuff....so I shall save that for the times when I am exhausted - and prioritise time when I am at peak thinking ability on the most important parts. Funny enough I asked him if publications would stand in my favour...he said NO boohoo......he said they only mark what is written or what I say. So thank you for your thoughts and encouragement. This is it my last 3 and a half days. Monday is official hand-in day. All 450+ pages of it. Then I am getting on a plane with my beautiful daughter and I am flying home to Devon to see my sister and family. I have not been home in months. I was suppose to be moving to Bath on monday - but my ex-husband will not sign the paperwork to let me leave the island permanently unless I agree to his parents being my landlords for the next 21 years (I KID YOU NOT) ...I must not sign that paperwork. Bea deserves more - so I shall stay on my little island that has become my prison and prepare for the viva on the 18th of July....oh my goodness! Have a lovely day Lindalou, Heidi-Hi

Just a few more days and you will be able to catch up on sleep YAY :-) I hope that you have a wonderful time catching up with your family after the hand-in - you deserve to have some fun after all the things you have had to fight through over the last few months.

I also hope you can come to some agreement re: moving to Bath for the new job. Please don't panic and sign any paperwork with which you are unhappy - your lawyer should be fighting for you on that one, so stay strong (easy to say, I know).

Good luck between now and Monday (up)

Hi Heidi,

YOU ARE A HERO!!!! I salute you for what you have achieved despite everything that has gone wrong. You are incredibly strong and you have come this far after all the struggle. Just go ahead and submit, I am sure all the hard work and sacrifice you have done will be paid off and it won't be long for people to call you Dr. Heidi!!! All the very best (up)

Hugs to you and Bea!!!!

I should be winning the how not to write your PhD:

1) Fracture your skull - and have to re-learn speech and memory
2) Loose over half your immediate family
3) Get married and have a baby
4) Have a husband blown up in Afghan
5) Get stuck on an island with no hope of going home
6) Attempt to write a third of the PhD in three months
7) Deadline Monday......I am struggling :-(

oooooohhh

I forgot to mention.....I did a self-funded PhD (I have no idea why!! my prof never told me I could get funding...I was 20 and very silly)

So funded this crazy PhD by working in an independent book shop - where I never really made any money because they couldn't afford to pay me so I was paid in books!

oooooohhh

I forgot to mention.....I did a self-funded PhD (I have no idea why!! my prof never told me I could get funding...I was 20 and very silly)

So funded this crazy PhD by working in an independent book shop - where I never really made any money because they couldn't afford to pay me so I was paid in books!

oooooohhh

I forgot to mention.....I did a self-funded PhD (I have no idea why!! my prof never told me I could get funding...I was 20 and very silly)

So funded this crazy PhD by working in an independent book shop - where I never really made any money because they couldn't afford to pay me so I was paid in books!

oooooohhh

I forgot to mention.....I did a self-funded PhD (I have no idea why!! my prof never told me I could get funding...I was 20 and very silly)

So funded this crazy PhD by working in an independent book shop - where I never really made any money because they couldn't afford to pay me so I was paid in books!