Sounds great. How far into your PhD are you?

This is a really interesting discussion. Thoughout my PhD I've often marvelled at how "matey" some of my friends were with their supervisors. 2 academics who supervised a couple of my friends used to come out drinking with us whenever we went out, and their students loved it. The acedemics in question were younger than the average departmental staff member, but even so, it was not something I felt comfortable with if I happened to be out with these friends and their supervisors rocked up pissed too! Call me old fashioned, but I think there need to boundaries.

My relationship with both my supervisors was more formal in that I wouldn't fo out in the evening for drinks with them - coffee during the day, yes, but no more. I COULD talk to them about problems outside of the PhD, which was good.

I'm just over 18 months in.

none of the above.. is that bad!?

Not necessarily as there are alot of bad supervisors out there - you don't need a qualification for that! Unfortunately that's the way it is! It just means that you haven't got a very good relationship with your supervisor (not necessarily your fault if that's the way they are) though you may want to change. In that case see who else can help and don't worry about it too much!

Really good supervisors are hard to come by and if you get one you're very lucky! So the majority of us will answer no to the questions!

I have a fantastic supervisor - for me!
We have a very friendly relationship (he taught me from my first year of UG) but at the same time he can give me a kick up the bum over work when I need it.
I can answer yes to most of those questions (though i don't tell him about wanting to quit as I don't want to disappoint him).

I like this kind of relationship and it works for me, though I can understand that some people would find it strange and too informal. We actually know an awful lot about each others private lives and I fully intend to maintain a friendship with him when I finish.

Friendship? Is your supervisor 'friends' with all of his students? If so, how is this possible? He's bound to come across someone he doesn't like eventually - and what do you think the implications are for that person who isn't fortunate enough to be his friend? Sorry if I sound like I'm attacking you, you've just hit a raw nerve where I'm concerned about this issue.

Was that to me?
First of all I don't feel attacked so don't worry about that.

He doesn't have many students, just two actually, because my university and department are quite small.
His other student also has a good relationship with him (I am a friend of that student as well) but lives abroad so they don't have a lot of contact time.

Essentially I am his only PhD student so we have a lot of interaction and have built up a good relationship over the 8 years that we have known each other.

TBH, it is none of my business what his relationship with other (potential in this case) students are. It is only my business what our relationship is like and I cannot see how our interaction should have an effect on other students since I am not part of a group project.
I cannot comment on other circumstances because I am not in them.
I'm sorry if it has hit a raw nerve, but I'm happy in my relationship with my supervisor and don't feel bad about it in the slightest.

Yeah, I was referring to what you said about maintaining a post-PhD friendship - it shocked me a bit. People have said over and over again how important the relationship with a supervisor is for a good PhD experience, but it seems very unfair to me that that relationship is not a simple functional work relationship - that the relationship (and hence my PhD experience) is dependent on whether my supervisor likes me. I'd be happy too if I was in your situation, but I'm not (in that situation) and I'm not (happy).

I'm really sorry to hear that sue.
I know people who don't have a particularly strong relationship with their supervisor and some of them are unhappy and some of them are thriving with it being totally formal and purely about work and not seeing their sup very often. That wouldn't work for me but it works for some.

I don't think the relationship has to be anything other than a simple functional one and isn't unsual, as long as you are getting what you need from your sup in terms of work. That shouldn't be a problem really.

I think it would be difficult to do a PhD if I didn't like my supervisor, or vice-versa, because all sorts of complications would arise with trust and confidence, and that is what is worrying about what you said.
That doesn't sound so good. Is there anything that can be done about it? Change supervisor?

I'm in my fourth year (i.e. nearly finished), so hopefully won't be unhappy for much longer...roll on graduation.

Amen to that! (also 4th year)

Good luck sue. I hope it hasn't totally ruined your experience and you can still look back and be glad and proud of the outcome, inspite of your relationship with your supervisor.

Thanks. Whether I can be proud of the outcome remains to be seen