You can't have the title Dr on your passport (unless you are an MD) for that very reason Rosy!

This is an international forum, although UK based, most students on here are only studying in the UK but have foreign passports. In 99% of countries you can have the Dr title in your passport. In some you are even required to do so by law. Is it true that the UK does not allow its citizen to have a respective entry added to the passport?

I'm not sure thats the rumour that I heard, but maybe I am just making things up!

Nope it's not true. I'm a postdoc and had to renew my UK passport almost straight after finishing. I was advised to put doctor on the form as I have to do overseas fieldwork and it helps establish you are who you say you are in awkward situations. My new passport has a note on the page before the photo saying 'the holder of this passport is Dr bewildered'.

SillyBilly - that's it right there. I already belong to my family. why should i belong to his?????? its him am marrying not his family. so i can keep my name.

I am going to take my fiancee's name when we get married. That is partly because I think it is a nicer surname - I too have been PLAGUED all my life with a surname that requires spelling at least two times - nobody ever gets it. Also, without giving away too much anonymity, my surname is also a first name... so people are always like "No, I said what's your SURname" and I'm like "For the fiftieth time, that IS my surname"... grrrr...

But apart from that whole issue I just think it would be nice that me, my husband and kids all share our last name... it is not really 'his' family it's a new 'OUR' family... but anyway that's just me! Each to their own... I hate all that double-barrelled nonsense though - either keep yours or take his - you can't have it all and anyway it sounds pretentious... in my humble opinion

People around me thought I was mad when I did not change my name when I got married. I did not do it as a huge political statement or anything of the sort...although it was taken as such. My basic reason was pretty simple. When I was 19 I remember discussing with a friend who remarked we might not know what our names would be in a few years, once we got married, etc, we would have a new last name ( surname). I hated that thought!!! My name was...well..who I WAS! And to think that would change? No, I decided then and there, that the name I was born with was the name I was keeping, because it WAS who I WAS, on some very personal level.

Thus, by the time the whole marriage and wedding thing rolled around some years later, I had already arrived at my views on my name. People asked me what my husband to be thought, and I said, you know what, whats it to him? its not HIS name! and no one is asking him to change HIS last name...!!! so there was still this really prevalant view ( and not that long ago) that my NOT taking my husband's name should give him some pause. Well, it never did, although perhaps he did not want to take up a losing battle but, I think people keep or change their names for a host of personal reasons, that sometimes, but not always, translate into bigger views on issues. Sometimes it can be as simple ( either way--changing or not changing) as expressing who you are to the world.

Sorry jojo- but I am with rosy on this one. When my partner and I get married and have children (eventually) I want us all to have one family name. My surname does not really mean that much to me I suppose, it is actually irish in decent but I am completely english. My brother has already decided to use the family first name for his son (daniel), thus carrying on the family tradition so I feel no guilt at all. And after all I will not give up my maiden name completely, I will still use it professionally as I have already published in it. I can understand why you would feel that your name is part of who you are, but I don't see how a name change will change who I am. It just feel its part of the commitment I make to my partner and our future together.

ah, the name question.

like olivia, i am put off by the point that women are harder to trace. since most registers (phone directories etc.) work by family name, if you change your name, anyone who you forget to tell won't be able to find you anymore. when we look at history, we often don't realise that woman A who did something amazing is actually the same as woman B, because she has a different name. maybe today, in the age of facebook etc., things are different - the name matters less. i still think, in the longer term, it will matter. i believe that one reason why women are historically less visible is exactly this.

why should i take a man's name? well, i already have a man's name (my father's). so why not? what's better about my father's name?
a) i was born with it - it requires no changing, thus no "tracing" problems. b) if it becomes my children's name, for them it won't be their father's name but rather their mother's name.

so what about commitment to a partner/new family?
a) i think there are other ways to commit than by sharing a name.b)if i take my partner's name, i commit more than he does, creating an imbalance. c)i do not think the wellbeing of a family depends on everyone sharing the same surname. d)and yes, i want to commit to the relationship/family, but: my identity should not dissolve into the relationship/family. i believe that the only way that i can share my life with my partner is if i HAVE a life to share, a life apart from my partner/family. same counts for my identity - only way i can be a true part of the family is if i AM a full person by myself.

'I hate all that double-barrelled nonsense though - either keep yours or take his - you can't have it all and anyway it sounds pretentious... in my humble opinion '

What about if you have a double baralled name through birth?

My dad is double baralled and our family have been since the 16th century... my mother married my Dad, took his surname and all of his daughters have the double baralled surname too....

I always feel sad when people say it sounds pretentious - my parents live in a council house (non UK people: this means parents on low wages not very well off) and we were raised to be polite, respect people and be grateful for what we had... no foreign holidays, very few presents etc.. but we were happy...

Not all people with double baralled surnames are posh, nor is it our choice... but personally.. I think double baralling is much 'fairer' than to *expect* the woman to drop her surname.. if she chooses to, fair enough.. but noone should expect...

so what about the solution of keeping a professional, maiden name and a new family name for everything else?
i am a bit worried that it might not always be so easy to distinguish clearly between professional and private. what if i go into politics? what if i do volunteering? what if i start a neighbourhood self-help group on issues i cover in my research? what if i publish a paper together with my partner?

i don't have any solutions. my hunch is to stick with what i've got and help make it different/easier for the next generation. one thought is that if anyone changes their name (in switzerland, it is not possible for both to keep the exact former name), it should be the man.

after all, he profits more from the relationship (statistically: men with female partners live longer than single men; women with male partners live less long than single women), and from the family (a family is positive for men's careers, negative for women's careers). but at the end of the day, i think there is no "right solution" - just the solution that fits best for your individual situation. my thoughts might not apply at all to your situation.

what does annoy me much is that this is an issue, like the question of "kids or not", that is still so very much an issue that women have to deal with, consider, find a solution for. or am i wrong? are there men on here who have put considerable thought to the question of how they would manage to avoid career repercussions if they took their wife's name? about what it would mean to them in respect to commitment? about what they would think if their kids didn't share their name?

'so what about the solution of keeping a professional, maiden name and a new family name for everything else?'

- That might work as long as the bloke also changes his name.. oh, wait a minute.. it will be the woman making all the sacrifices once again!

I won't be marrying or having children but 2 of my sisters want marriage and children - both have said under no circumstances will any children have the Fathers name and if they don't like it, tough... I think this is also unfair and they should either take half of our surname and the blokes, or create a new family name they can all change to...

... but they are more militant than me!