Is Freddy still at DC United?

I presume so. There was talk of him coming to England but Jojo said it was "too little too late".

woah, chill out.

am getting hit with a tonne of bricks for nothing.

1) guy knows am not keen.
2) he knows that i'm not interested anymo and is head over hills in love.
3) he won't let go.
4) i don't mind him as a friend.
5) valentines is a day when you show love to those you love.
6) what is wrong with me showing my love in the way i deem appropriate, i.e., getting him a gift anyway.
7) not a gift that leads him on.
8) if he decides to lead himself on, surely i shouldn't be blamed for that.
9) just because am kind, and mature in that i can still maintain a friendship with an ex, doesn't
10) give anyone a right to judge me and my 'relationship'.

the question was what type of gift - not what anyone thinks of my circumstances.

said with very much love, albeit in anger, under the circumstances .

Jojo.

thanks 404 and Matthew for your ideas.

a book ?? he's not much of a reader and which book would be appropriate?

a dirty magazine and tissues - that's a bit too harsh. i do not want to be disrespectful. looking for a clean and peaceful break-up.

jojo, you might have heard of it already but just a suggestion for a book: it is from New Scientist and called "why don't penguins' feet freeze (and 114 other questions). I bought that for someone who doesn't read much and he finished it in 2 days

If you think he would prefer something a bit deeper than that but still easy to read, I can suggest The Schopenhauer Cure by Yalom.

Here are the links to the books, to save you time:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Dont-Penguins-Feet-Freeze/dp/1861978766/sr=8-1/qid=1170957830/ref=pd_ka_1/026-2457316-9830827?ie=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Schopenhauer-Cure-Irvin-D-Yalom/dp/0060938102/sr=1-1/qid=1170957880/ref=sr_1_1/026-2457316-9830827?ie=UTF8&s=books

But, erm, it's Valentine's Day and surely you only send someone a gift/card who you want to be with??

sylvester - is it?

a few of my friends think vals is only for couples and love birds. i think its for friends as well... as long as you're not over the top suggestive.

erm, not that i'd send any of my female friends a valentine's card :-&.

404 - i love the first one. didn't quite get what the second one was about. i'll be ordering for that soon, and probably a cheap card to say, wishing you a good valentines day.' that should do. :).

thanks 404,
Jojo.

Okay, let's put this another way. If I was the said bloke and I had the hots for you, how might you think I'd react if you bought me a V Card + present?

Appreciate that I dont know the whole situation, but fom the outside have to say that giving a valentines present to this guy could kinda give him misleading signals. Far kinder to let him down gently before the day, rather than getting his hopes up.

sylvester - you'd say 'thank you very much. that was nice of you.'

deiseal - how about not doing anything at all?

would that be mean(er)?

Hmm, your situation is a little clearer now. However, you did ask what present to get, I think none is a fine answer. It does need to be justifyed (as any present idea does), hence the response you got.

However, I still think it would be less mean to not buy him anything. If he is head over heals, even the smallest thing will give him hope. You should prob help him get over it by not giving him anything. It seems a little harsh to potentially play with his feelings. Also, you suggested stationary. Is this guy into stationary? I would be a little bemused if for my Birthday or as a random present a close friend bought me stationary. Doesnt really seem very caring at all! Almost seems pointless buying anything.

Also, how many other guys are you buying V pressies for? I would hope that you are buying ALL your other close male friends them as well (to fit with your caring thing). This would of course make it less like you were buying something specific and special for him. In which case, what about a pen

I think this is just wrong. I used to have a guy that hung on even though he knew there was no hope. I thought he would eventually get the idea but I realised that by still trying to be his "friend" it was ruining his chances with having a decent relationship with anyone else. I cut him off totally, best thing to have done.