Another good thread! I have lost friends through the PhD - they (wrongly) made the assumption that I wanted to just socialise with PhD types and academics, and just put the barriers up themselves. i never indicated anything of the sort. Even my own Mum, who I normally get on well with, often trots out the "Ooh, I feel I can;t talk to you normaly anymore since you becasme a Dr." line, especialy when she's trying to win an argument!
I also got sick of the "oh, off to another conference? Bloody easy life!" - er, no it wasn't actually. In addition to the stress of presenting I didn't like being away from home and partner.
It does annoy me when people don't seem to recognise it for the hard endeavour it is...
Its really common that PhD work is trivialised by people who don't understand what it entails. This does suck immensely.
However, I also think that I did become quite precious and oversensitive with my work. Not saying this is what is happening to anyone else. I remember telling my ex about how hard it was that I had to present my work before hundreds. However, as she was training in clinical psychology she had to treat with people that attempted suicide, lost family, experienced sexual abuse (on top of her own thesis and academic work). Other friends in medicine would be carrying out life saving operations and working 80 hour weeks.
Listening to this put my own work in perspective, and how I was becoming po faced about much of it.
That is a good point badhaircut. There are a lot of jobs that are at least as much work and stress (I've had one). The difference is though, that people do generally realise that those jobs involve certain amounts of work and stress - whereas many people think a PhD is a 3-year pre-job holiday.
Agreed BHC and Smilodon that there ARE many more difficult pursuits than a PhD! Many other jobs, even different types of PhDs are more stressful. I guess what I find dissapointing with my near and dear is when they trivialise it into this adult gap year--as if I took off with a back pack in a flurry of a mid life crisis to hang at party beaches in Portugal or something....This is certainly not the hardest thing I have ever done. Nor is it the easiest. Perhaps it is the most important. It would be nice if close relatives could at least recognise that this is not a holiday....that's all. But as said, perhaps the failure to realise that this is not a holiday is just sour grapes on their part.
PostgraduateForum Is a trading name of FindAUniversity Ltd
FindAUniversity Ltd, 77 Sidney St, Sheffield, S1 4RG, UK. Tel +44 (0) 114 268 4940 Fax: +44 (0) 114 268 5766
An active and supportive community.
Support and advice from your peers.
Your postgraduate questions answered.
Use your experience to help others.
Enter your email address below to get started with your forum account
Enter your username below to login to your account
An email has been sent to your email account along with instructions on how to reset your password. If you do not recieve your email, or have any futher problems accessing your account, then please contact our customer support.
or continue as guest
To ensure all features on our website work properly, your computer, tablet or mobile needs to accept cookies. Our cookies don’t store your personal information, but provide us with anonymous information about use of the website and help us recognise you so we can offer you services more relevant to you. For more information please read our privacy policy
Agree Agree