My words are a violation of the page.
Seriously - it looked so nice, neat and coherent without anything on it!
So far, my writing is floppy, flabby, full of long quotations from better writers and generally looks more pathetic than... (good writers insert witty simile here).
Sigh.

i can't remember when i last enjoyed a good night out on Friday! have to keep up with the writing..

today's been ok.. although creativity has been at zero! lets hope when i read it tomorrow it will make some sense.

anyway, the only way out of this is to get it written. i suppose that's the hardest part. no one ever recognises what you started. just what you finished.

Sigh.. that said, am almost done with the boring part: comparing. then i'll write the exciting part which is the discusion. i feel like am either repeating myself of lacking depth in analysis, but i suppose i will improve that in the next draft which is the second and final (fingers crossed) draft!
;
i have come to accept that the most important thing is to get it all out there - mistakes and all - and then polish it. :-)

*or lacking depth.

The writing pain is pretty acute right now. I don't know what I'm trying to say and what I think I might be trying to say seems pointless...maybe even wrong.

I am also struggling..

Now on to re-drafting, which is a fresh hell. I feel like I'm constantly raking over the document, changing one word here and there and ignoring the parts which need serious work.

A fresh hell sounds about right keep_calm. Hope you're getting through it ok.

I just got a response from my sup about the first draft of my first three chapters, a rather ominous "we should probably have a meeting to discuss it" :-( I find it hell enough to write the thing in the first place, knowing it's just the start of the torture fills me with gloom.

Hope it went ok Teek.

One last push and I never have to look at this (I would swear if I knew I was allowed on here) upgrade document again*

*Until the viva when they tear it to shreds.

this may be an encouragement to someone:

my supervisor finally got back to me on Chapters which i thought were pretty damn silly. i'd even cringe reading them as I'd taken a risk to just be myself and put down my thoughts on paper - i.e. forget what everyone is saying and speak for yourself and then relate to what everyone is saying approach.

apparently my supervisor was really impressed with them and as a result is very confident about me getting this PhD should i write the next chapter well. He even went to point out what the originality of my thesis was - i was not that confident in it - til he put it into words. we even went on to agree on what the remaining chapter should be about!

am so happy!!! i've got my energy back now. :-) am amazed by how quickly the energy levels return after positive feedback.

hang in there.. it will all work out. put the fear aside and just go for it. it may be that risk you take - saying stuff you're not sure about - that ends up being your original contribution as is the case in my thesis.
i'm going for near final draft standard, therefore i anticipate just one revision of the thesis.

i only have one Chapter to go - the discussion chapter (still struggling with it! but at least we've ironed out what should be there and what shouldn't be there) - which he wants to see soonest. Lets see what I can get done by Friday!