It's good that you've secured yourself a job. I wish I could say the same..... :(

I feel the system has let me down in a way. I personally would warn anybody of doing a PhD to REALLY think about it first. I was enamoured by the status of the title 'doctor,' and never really understood just what a trial it could be. In fact, if I could go back, I'd probably rather have done an apprenticeship like my friends - I'd have been earning earlier on and wouldn't have this extremely crippling student debt I have now.

I have made my mind up, yes. It is only the worry of lack of income that ever sways me. I now need to try and convert what I've done to an MSc (hopefully getting another few months' pay out of it - I REALLY need it), and then start applying for jobs - after consultation with my girlfriend. We adore each other and do not want to live far apart - though I more than realise how this can limit a 'career'. Career... the word sounds almost hollow to me now. I really feel I've wisened up over the last year and a half regarding life in general - I can tell when I smell bullsh!t a mile off lol... and know now to speak up for myself and don't be trodden on.

May I ask what kind of engineering you do, and what job/how you went about getting your other job, especially in the face of converting to a Masters? Maybe a private message would be better suited?

Thank you :)

Sounds like an absolute nightmare. Who are they to treat anybody like that... what a disgrace!

Crikey! Three years is a HUGE amount of your time!! I could never grit my teeth for that long... See my own thread, entitled 'Seriously Thinking About Quitting,' which is what I'm doing!

It is VERY scary - especially in terms of the lack of income (very, very, very worried about that) - but that is no excuse for doing a PhD you don't like. Maybe if it was a job, but a PhD is so very different.

I completely empathise with the original poster. I'm bored of what I'm doing, lack motivation, I've felt like a failure - I don't want to say to my girlfriend 'can't go out tonight, I've got no money!' but keeping on doing this PhD is not an option. Just under another 3 years to go... no way.

Do what's right for you. I'm trying to convert to an MSc - I will then be unemployed until I find something else (grad recruitment starts in September).

I have lived in Edinburgh for 24 years, my entire life! I also got my degree from there - a great place, lots to do, very well respected, great scenery, and so unlike other major cities, IMO!

Oh, how many times have I felt like this!
What I will say is don't worry about it - she wont be!! No point in being miserable - you will get over it and there are people more suited to you out there, I don't doubt it!

OK, firstly I have to apologise for this emotional blog I keep updating. I hope you guys don't mind - it allows me to express my feelings, hopefull get some feedback which I appreciate, and perhaps others can relate to it.

A suspension can't be on the cards - the work I'm doing, unfortunately, is on a company's main path, so it's a tight schedule up until the end of the year. It's been discussed but doesn't look liek it could work out. Thanks, though :)

Bilbo - I have been to careers, yes. They say it's not the end of the world, they see failed PhDs at least 5-6 times a week! My CV is exemplary to date so they think I just need to brush up on whatever it is I want to go into, wait for the grad recruitment and apply, apply, apply! I need to speak to my girlfriend as we aren't keen on there being too big a distance between us, which really would limit my options, in a big way. My main worry right now is eating into savings and having no immediate job - possibly throwing away a good career. There's a reason it's come to this, though.. I look at the folks in my office and they still work lots of hours at this later stage in their lives and I don't want to become like that. I have to tell my boss either way what I plan next week, so that will be crunch time.

Another night of doubt. Went to see the new Star Trek movie but was worrying throughout... Afterwards we got something to eat. Now, sitting at home, I'm wondering if I can afford such luxuries if I will be unemployed. This is a major, major fear for me. Thoughts about the police were probably airy-fairy, I don't want to work bars on minimum wage - what I've got doesn't seem so bad when I think of the money coming in. But then I think about the lack of motivation, those dull research papers. Ugh. My head is about to explode from indecision. This decision isn't final yet - next week it will be, one way or the other.
Again, I wish my girlfriend were here for support. I don't think I've ever felt so low in my entire life. I've always secured secured this work or that before leaving the current job but now there is a real fear of uncertainty and I'm starting to doubt my decision. I think I'm more stressed thinking about this than when I was actually doing the research!!

I do feel a bit better, thank you!!
No contact with my girlfriend until next weekend unfortunately. I have good friends but don't think they understand the gravity of the situation.
Yes, I am looking into what I need to do in order to join the police - so today I'm off to the gym to do some training! If I start thinking it's not what I want to do then I may go into nuclear power as I believe that will present a lot of jobs in future. Will need something part-time until then - I almost feel a failure having done so well at uni and now I may be doing part-time work, whereas everybody else is doing fine.
At least I am not one of my friends with a kid to raise - he wishes he could change career but it is too risky for him right now. That is real responsibility.

Thank you :)
A bit of a down night tonight - doubting whether this has all been too sudden - will be unemployed - that sort of thing. But then I think about having to read just one more research paper and realise again it isn't for me. Still a bummer overall. I wish my girlfriend was back from holidays so I could speak to her. Police is what I'm leaning towards - many people I know think I'm mad, big pay cut, not the sort of job they saw me going into. I guess I'll see how things pan out. Really down tonight :(

No problem!
I've actually started to play it a bit more of late. Something was going wrong when I stopped playing..
Anyway it looks like I will hopefully be transferring to MSc. Afterwards, I am undecided whether to stay in engineering, but a different branch (may mean moving south and not keen on leaving the girlfriend!) or making a drastic change and joining the police, which is something I've wanted to do for a while now.

Thanks so much, I appreciate it :)
Yes, definitely talking to lots of people - I do believe I'm exiting in the best fashion possible, looking at it from all sides.

Sounds like yuo and I are the same on some levels! I DREAD letting people down, fearing what others will think of me etc. Some people will not be happy, fact, and I just have to work around that somehow.

Will let you know how I get on :)

Thanks for the suggestion, I appreciate it :)
This was considered but is entirely impractical for company reasons - believe me, it wouldn't work!
Thanks, though!

I agree - the difference I see is that in academia, it's related to career ambition. In 'real-life' the slaves are usually 9-5, out of the door and don't care about any of it. But anyway, let's leave it at that :)

I meant no offence when referring to 'academic slave'... from my point of view, most academics seem tied to the job, unable to break free even if they want to. Some I know have been absolute dogs bodies in their RA work, really miserable but keep going because they see no alternative. Lastly, this refers to the multitude of PhD students I witness who seem like shells of what they were before they started their programmes. By slave I meant somebody that stays in academia even if they don't really want to, as they feel forced to, or that there's no other way out.
Of course academia suits a lot of people and fair enough! I know a lot of people who love it and that's great for them!

There's the consensus on here that you should stick at it no matter what, there are tough times and good times etc. But I have to counter this. If you're really not enjoying it and see no benefit, what is the point. If money is absolutely critical then you could maybe keep going but that, IMO, is a poor reason to keep on doing a PhD. Sometimes exiting a PhD is the right choice - it happens all the time and could actually be the turning point in somebody's life. To stay an academic slave (unless you love academia..) or leave and do what makes you really happy. Personally, I feel I've done more character building in the days leading to my quitting than I have done in the last year and a half. I now know to be brutally honest with myself and others, accept when things just aren't right and take control in order to shape my destiny in a way that will mean I live a more fruitful life, personally, for me.
I don't say these things to anger - I simply think we need more of a counter-argument. A lot of people might read this forum and think 'hell, I should really stay on' when it might be completely the wrong decision for me. Thankfully, I got a few PMs from people who have gone through the same thing as me and decided to quit and those resonated with me in such a way that I knew my decision was correct, 100%. And thank heavens, now I am looking into alternative careers which will make me much happier than reading dry research papers and becoming a soul-less, social recluse, which is where I think I was headed.

So I say... Think it through and make the right decision for you.