A lot has happened. I met with my manager and basically broke down, revealed what was going wrong. Told her that I'd like to transfer to MSc or plain quit. Gave me a week to think about it - submitted the progression forms required just in case.
Been to see a student counsellor who seems to agree that the PhD really isn't what I want, and not for the wrong reasons. One work-colleague has also said that if he were me feeling this way, he'd probably make the same decision. I'm absolutely certain this is the right move for me, personally. I want to work to live but it's been the other way for too long now. Not sure if I want to continue in the same line of work - alternatives are more power/nuclear-based, in England (FAR away from my girlfriend, friends etc) or possibly the police force, which I've considered for a while. I just hope I get SOMETHING in the meantime in order to get some money in - the job situation is REALLY grim out there - but that is no decision to stay on a PhD that's not working. Basically a lot of conflicting emotions and fears, especially of letting down bosses, facing possible anger and getting a terrible reference. However I've got to stop thinking about what other people will think and start focussing on what I need.
I have a careers meeting tomorrow which will be handy as well as another meeting with my manager. So I'm getting a lot of input which is good. Friends especially have noted that as time has gone on, my complaints about the programme have increased - I work all hours, no longer play guitar (which was my passion!), and seem stressed a lot (linked to my slight hair loss no doubt...). What I need now is a simple job, hopefully part-time, just to pay the rent and fuel bills so that I can survive until I've sorted it all out.
Thanks for your interest :)

Little or no jewellery - what about a nice watch? Never thought too much about that one!

Get it sorted, fast - my supervisor is part of the reason I'm in the process of trying to quit my PhD. Note, a part, not the whole reason.
This will just end up making you more and more miserable as the years (YEARS!!) go by. Either tell him straight, with brutal honesty about how you feel, or try and get a supervisor change. That'd be my advice.

Woooah. You guys must really want it if you work those hours. I've been known to do those hours in engineering, as well. But it makes for no life - why is why I'm exiting my PhD! I don't mean to discourage you at all - if you want it, go for it. But for me, there are easier jobs paying more requiring fewer hours. Good luck either way!

Those are some good questions, MH. Wish I'd been asked them as that may have turned me away and saved me some stress...!

Well it's 8:30 now and I have my laptop open but nothing's coming out. It's just not happening. I might be having a meeting with my programme manager tomorrow so I guess that will be the decider.

150 miles is a long distance. I decided long ago that I could never be too far apart from my other half - it may limit career options, but c'est la vie, there are more important things. At times it can feel like your life is on hold when you're stuck in a place trying to complete your PhD. Hope you feel better/ get this resolved.

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This is the thing that's really getting to me. Possible unemployment - I'd hate to eat into my (again, meagre!) savings. Honestly, the two main reasons for me keeping on would be to keep everybody else happy (not me!) and to keep some money coming in.

Definitely a big decision. I don't want to throw away an entire career for nothing. What I could do with is a year doing something part-time, have a bit of a break (this is not an option).

I have to submit a progression report this Tuesday morning - if I don't, I wont be progressing. So far I haven't had the slightest inclination of doing so.

Excellent post, Rubyw. To answer your questions... the bad spells aren't blips - the good ones are, and they're very rare.

Also, the subject matter is something I'm just not into anymore. To be honest I was getting bored of it during my undergraduate studeies but I ended up doing it because a) I could and b) it pays ok. The lifestyle and the work just aren't suited to me - my plan for the last 6 months was to see this through to the end and use my savings to keep me going as I switched career. But I now know I can't just plod through this hating it every step of the way. I entered into this with high hopes, one more obstacle to overcome - I like to do well. But you're right - it isn't suited to everybody. And certainly not at this stage in my life. Perhaps if I was still interested in it, I would consider doing a PhD in future - I think actually that doing a PhD straight after uni is quite risky!

Now I am looking at alternate careers, most likely completely different from what I studied. It might mean less pay, but if I'm happy then that's all that matters. I prefer to work with people rather than keep up with the technology race so this will shape my decision.

I'm getting some negative vibes from people who want me to stick at it until I find something else, but I don't think I can last another second at it. I'll just have to eat away at savings (which I am loathe to do!). Perhaps something temporary in the short-term until I find something else.

I look at a lot of the PhDs at my uni and it's as if the life has been sapped from a lot of them - they have no social skills and live to work (not all, of course!). Now I know that's not for me - there are jobs out there that actually pay overtime, which don't require you to work extra hours after 5:30pm as it's the done thing to do, that actually pay what the work is worth. I wouldn't recommend engineering as a career to anybody, though I would still say it was a worthwhile degree.

Thanks for your replies.
It's not just my supervisor or the project. It's academia in general, and the work. I'm miserable and I have to face it. I have a progression review Mon/Tue and right now I'm pretty damn sure that I'm going to drop out at that point. Try something else, get a job to keep me going until I can change career completely to do something I actually want to! That will make me happy! I don't want to become one of these hollow shells that goes on with the PhD because it's the done thing, or because I don't want to dissapoint anybody. You have to look out for number one sometimes. I feel almost elated already.

Listen to your gut. If you're not liking it, then think seriously about alternatives. Life's too short to be doing something you don't want to!

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I haven't read the replies yet, but I can totally relate to the original post. :(

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I might add - I cannot progress to third year now until remedial action is taken. This action includes showing my supervisor evidence of work carried out since he is not at the company often. This is due by next week - I am sorely tempted not to do it and 'hand in my notice'. Lack of money/employment scares me, though.

It may look like I just don't like the culture and the people - but it's more than that. It's the work - sitting in front of a screen all day doing abstract designs with little interaction - a tough job for the money when older - the pay doesn't reflect it. I'd feel so much happier doing something with more human interaction. I'd probably rather join the police!

My head's a mess right now. Has been for months.

Hi all,

I'm one and a half years into a 4-year PhD in engineering. I did really well in my undergrad and thought I'd go for one more goal (the title of doctor!).

It started off well - I'm sponsored by a company and the folks are cool. I got handed a project, basically, and was on my way to start some design! But a year and a half later and I feel so low - 9 days out of ten I am just so negative.

Work in the company started to turn sour - nobody helping me out much (you always need a little direction!) or taking an interest which was demotivating. There's another PhD student who everybody loves - she has loads of experience and it seems I have to get everything past her before I can move on with anything which is very frustrating. Lately she's told my supervisor how her hints have helped my project out so much and has voiced concern to him over my progress and motivation! So last week I had a meeting to go over my progression for 3rd year - my supervisor starts out really negative asking if I'm motivated, he is concerned that I do not follow ideas through to conclusion, that things are up in the air - that the project might not have enough merit. I really got flustered.

My supervisor isn't there to see me often so I don't know how he can say these things - but in a way, he's right. Sometimes I don't follow things through to conclusion and my motivation really HAS been lacking. To be honest, I don't know if I enjoy this anymore (edit - I don't.). Engineering is so much hard work for very little reward. I am constantly stressed out and working way too many hours - I have actually started balding (fact!!). I look at the other guys who slog their guts out and think 'for what?'. I'd rather get paid less and leave at 5pm, have a life! I have done very well up to about a year ago - completed a bunch of extra courses and got lots of training.. but when if finish my PhD, I can't see myself staying in this line of work. I feel so depressed. If I quit I'd feel I'd let everybody down and proved them right - I KNOW I can do it, but it's whether I want to, and I don't!
There's also the financial aspect - I have meagre savings and a large student loan, a car to run etc... and now there's a recession. Who would want to hire somebody who quit a PhD!? Is there really so much stigma attached to this?? I could be unemployed for years..

I'm cheesed off with my supervisor. The guys at the company are great but I don't think the lifestyle/job is for me. I am seriously demotivated and it isn't likely to get better. If I do keep going, I will likely get a research paper and finish up, but what will it be for if I don't continue in this line of work - and if it will mean more stress and balding (serious, I'm concerned about this!). I'm just not cut out for this - I have no real interest in it. I don't feel I'm a good researcher - more of a worker, want to get home at night!

I am so down in the dumps it is unreal. I look forward to your comments :(