Summer!

Insomniac, I also didn't speak English until I attended nursery. Feels weird to think that now though as my English is miles better. My younger brother probably spoke a bit because I used to talk to my dad's younger sister (she lived with us until she got married when I was 13) in English.

I think that even though my parents are "old skool" they allow me to pretty much do what I want, I guess its all about the trust, they know I'm not going to do anything stupid. Whereas I've seen girls with much stricter parents going the opposite way. Actually, my dad and my grandad both believe in women having a high level of education (they both wanted me to do the PhD but grandma and mother both wanted me to get married - lol).

Roopa, you should read the book if you haven't done so. Jhumpa Lahiri is a fantastic author. I really wanted to see the film last night but my bloke isn't interested. We have totally different tastes when it comes to films so I end up seeing nothing at the cinema.

I went to look on my shelf for the Namesake and it's not there, I think I lent it to someone a while ago and they havent given it back to me

Been awake since 5. I had a lovely meal at the local lebanese and enjoyed my usual dishes. However the fried cauliflower dish which I adore and was as tasty as normal, is affecting me still early this morning.

Should I do work?

Maybe not.

roopa, it always happens when you last expect it to. I really thought I would definitely not meet anyone whilst I was doing my PhD. In fact my mum didn't want me to do a PhD because she thought it would affect marriage prospects. Well we were both wrong!

thanks roopa, we are (mostly - guys are still guys)

How we met? Well, my dad's cousin brother's wife works with his cousin-sister in the midlands together. His cousin must have gone, "oh, my aunt and uncle are looking for a girl for my cousin" and my aunt would have said "how old is he, what does he do?" and then she would have said, "I have a niece who is the right age, let me ask her mum".

Then my mum asked me what I thought, then he was given my number and he called me up. Actually the process started around a year ago, we met for the first time on Easter Sunday last year.

oh and otto, you are saying about it being my life and not my parents, well I picked my fiance, my parents didn't pick him for me.

Having met my fiance, I love the way he can talk to the elders with the correct respect as well as my brother, my cousins etc and get along with everyone.

It also happens the two families actually knew each other back in the days. So everyone loved it that the two of us are getting married.

With Indian weddings, it's not just the couple that are getting married, it is the families getting married too. The more compatible they are, the easier this transaction is and the happier everyone is.

My parents are quite "old-skool". In fact Indians in India are more modern than my family. This is because I'm third generation born out of India and you normally see people trying to hold onto their customs and culture more, the further away they are from their origins.

I can understand why the whole thing doesn't make sense to you but I personally wanted to marry someone from my community that my family approved of. I'm very much a family-orientated person and realise that my parents have sacrificed their whole lives for me and my brother. Therefore if my parents ask something small of me, I can't and don't want to say no.

I admit that I did get angry at one point about being only specifically allowed someone from my community but my parents did let me date someone that wasn't. I wanted someone who would fit into my family and can speak to my grandmas (they don't speak english). Someone from the same background understands where I am coming from and understands family commitments.

I watched neighbours for about 2 mins today and had no idea who anyone was except Steph and I heard someone mention Toadie. Storylines haven't changed though.....

Oh it was ages ago, wasn't that keen on him anyway. I found myself a bloke I'm actually allowed, so marrying him

for the second one

404, I'm a bit scared of it.....

I don't see why you couldn't email him for coffee/drink?

Well at least you know that your mum would be supportive even if the guy wasn't the same. My mum had a fit when I was dating a guy that was a slightly different Indian caste to me, you are quite lucky!

Definitely go for the other guy. Why not suggest a coffee or a drink to start with.