======= Date Modified 27 Aug 2010 07:35:15 =======
Ah dear, it doesn't sound happy does it?! Laptop "life spans" are actually given in hours rather than years - but of course they're not designed to be on 12 hours a day, and yes, most don't last much longer than two years (without problems occuring I mean, not neccessarily just breaking at their second anniversary!).

Some machines, as I said, can work at 80-90C, but I wouldn't think that included yours, at least not for extended periods of time. The CPU is a tiny piece of metal that is designed, and can stand, to get very, very hot. But as I said, you shouldn't be feeling that core temp at your finger tips!

I would download this free scanner from Microsoft: http://www.microsoft.com/security_essentials/ - it's consistently in the top 3 anti-virus softwares in the world, is regularly updated, and is absolutely free! Do a scan and see if there is anything on your computer that may be overworking your CPU - if not we will have to put it down to overwork I'm afraid.

The thought of you having to work in your hat and gloves! Terrible! (I'm here in PJs as it happens :-))


haha - I just HAD to post this, as I was looking at my post above, I glanced over @ an advert on the site for a 'nonslip laptop cooler and heat shield' - The XPAD *chuckle* - your prayers have been answered!

Stressed, the cable is for when you remove your harddrive and makes it so you can plug it into another computer via USB, like an ordinary external harddrive or (on a smaller scale) USB pen drive. I don't think it would help your situation.

What you say about your core temp @ 95F sounds normal actually (in fact some machines can run at like 80 C!), although this is not to say that the rest of your computer should feel that hot, rather the heat should dissipate throughout the rest of the unit so you don't feel the heat and the computer wouldnt normally maintain this level of heat, but go up and down.
Say for example you had a virus on your computer that meant the CPU was constantly overworking, this could cause a constant high temp which could be the problem, that, or your computer is simply old and tired (I know how it feels). Laptops generally don't last for too long, they tend to have a shelf life of 18 months-4 yrs depending on quality/price. :)

======= Date Modified 25 Aug 2010 19:38:33 =======
Hi Algaequeen,

I would clean it out with some air-duster, you can easily get this on ebuyer: http://www.ebuyer.com/product/225889 which would clean out the fan and help it to stay cool; it's likely overheating due to all the stuff trapped inside it, and also get one of these: http://www.ebuyer.com/product/161512 - this will turn your laptop harddrive into a USB drive that you can use in any other computer (so that if it fails you can access your files).

Would also suggest you back up using something like Windows Live Sync - I use this, and it means you can access your work from any computer anywhere with the internet.

You should refrain from removing the CPU because the thermal grease is likely to be dried up on an old machine - if you remove the CPU you will have to remove what's calles the heat sink (a piece of metal between the fan and CPU), removing this will reduce the conductivity between the CPU and the sink. If you do this, and I'm not saying it wouldnt help, but you would need to re-grease the CPU with this: http://www.ebuyer.com/product/72292

So, advice is to try the air duster first and go from there. :)

Source, by the way, is boyf used to work for Microsoft ;)

======= Date Modified 25 Aug 2010 09:44:36 =======
======= Date Modified 24 Aug 2010 14:00:31 =======
Hi there :) I’m just finishing my MA and will begin PhD in October, but I am in the SAME situation with my dissertation. I’ve “finished” my final draft which is about 16k words and sent it to my supervisor 8 days ago. I was fine up until yesterday thinking a week is fair given I know he is so busy … but if I am to have 2 weeks to rewrite/edit/format and do title pages with the right page rages, possibly re-consider the title, and do a print-read-through-out-loud the night before (!!) there is only so much time!

The truth is , we would be silly to pass up on the opportunity for their annotations and suggestions, but this waiting and doing nothing whilst the deadline looms ever closer defies all my instincts! I’ve done just about everything I can think of, including making a huge list of “things I need to change when it comes back” (otherwise I will end up with three copies: the original, the edited original, and the draft my sup will send) which may very well be the end of me.

I refresh my email every five-ten minutes, and I’m afraid I can offer you no good advice except mutual support. I find it very hard to relax because I feel anxious about the time ticking, but I know there is little else I can do at this point. I’ve been thinking, say in two days or so, if it would be acceptable to email him and ask for an ETA. Can’t decide if this would be construed as badgering, which I don’t want to do at all ?

Here’s hoping it ends soon!


UPDATE: I cracked and emailed my tutor this morning at 7am. No reply (it's 9:45am). :( Day nine ...

======= Date Modified 16 Aug 2010 12:42:58 =======
Just to answer Pjlu's question: it's common in the UK to apply for PhD December-June time, and yes, that includes current MA/MSc students who may have only completed half or so of their modules by this point (in my case however I had only one module left to complete by the time the uni considered applicants).

Success is usually based on strength of research proposal and prior grades (so distinctions at Masters level and a first at undergrad are v. useful for example). Since it takes a lot of time to write the research proposal/applications on top of coursework and exams for the Masters this is a very good indicator of whether a student can juggle tasks and accomplish top-notch results in both areas. I also had to submit an indicative bibilography for the PhD proposal, which isn't uncommon. This was 3-4 pages of texts I had already consulted or planned to consult (you had to indicate which) for the PhD which obviously was very time consuming to research. Hope that helps ;)

Coop, whilst I am yet to begin my PhD, so perhaps am speaking out of turn here, I do feel that you're having a bad case of "looking outside yourself" for answers. In fact, only you can answer the question you're looking for help about here. I wouldn't think too many people would feel comfortable telling you one thing or the other (but many may have useful personal experiences to share).

At the moment I am finishing my master's dissertation, I'm down to editing, and I hate it. I mean I really detest doing it every day. Whilst this is the case I know, within myself, that I want this and that the horror of the next 4 weeks is worth it in the end because I do want to continue on and I do want to begin my PhD in Sept. I guess what I'm getting at is, do you feel that the pain and unhappiness you're feeling right now is "worth" it? Do you need a PhD to do what you want, and if not, do you even 'want' one at all (for whatever reason)?

If you decide that no, you don't want it/need it then the next decision is are you willing to write off the last 2 years to experience and try to move on with your life, or do you feel that you want/need to use what you did to get an Master's? It's not something anyone can SUGGEST I wouldn't think -- although it does seem logical and it may well make this time less of a 'waste' -- but do you WANT it?

I would imagine that plenty of people have spent two, three, four, even ten or more years of their life doing something they didn't want to, and then have changed their direction. You wouldn't be the first or the last in that respect. It's your job as a human being to find your place in life, but you do need to decide what it is you want, rather than what you think is right. I'd go from there.

Good luck :)

How frustrating! Truthfully, I hate editing after supervisor has annotated. Often I feel slightly annoyed by it (even though I KNOW what they’re suggesting is right). It’s just a crappy, dull and often very patience-testing process.

I imagine that you, like me, would not feel too happy with yourself for submitting knowing that you needed to alter something. Especially considering the master’s will be after your name forevermore! Possibly, though, once you have corrected this it’s over for you? One last hurdle, one more push. We all have that in us, even though it doesn’t always feel that way.

I’m beginning what I have termed “hell week” this week. 7 days of editing (then going to paid-work) then more editing in the evenings (then vodka lol). As I said on the previous post I want to send it to my tutor by 16th-20th August just as I ‘would’ submit it, and have him see what he thinks! I’m pretty sure that after hell-week it will pretty much kill me to get it back with red annotation all over it – and that’s if he can manage to do it quickly enough -- but once Sept 10th has passed THIS WILL BE OVER – come what may.

My advice to you is to find that strength that you think you don’t have and complete what has been a very stressful project. Complete it. Hand it in. Then enjoy the rest of your life ;)

Pjlu, whilst I've never been in this situation I just wanted to say: I get the impression you have already made up your mind. You seem very enthusiastic about what is a worthwhile cause (your work projects), and, honestly, if you are happy -- as you say -- with your work, and you have done edits and re-edits and checks and re-checks, then you have completed the work as best as you can.

I don't want to shrug off your dilemma, I see that there is one here, I just get the very strong impression you already know the answer here ;)

I'm sure you can explain this eloquently yo your tutor. I will add this, however: very jealous that you're at submission stage. Still 4 weeks to go for me and my tutor is yet to check anything over until I'm done with the first lots of edits/formatting (so he can check it over as I *would* submit it). I find this stage really tough-going.
(up) Anyway, well done!

Hi Pineapple, I see you have a few helpful and insightful comments below, so perhaps you won't mind a short little note from me. I'm yet to begin PhD (finishing MA and beginning PhD in Sept) but what you mentioned her about feeling "like a fraud" struck a nerve with me because it's something I can relate to very much. Twice throughout my MA I have gained the highest mark ever awarded (the second time beating my own record). Instead of feeling entirely elated about this fact, I felt, as you say, as if someone, somewhere, had made a mistake and sooner or later they would see. Not that I didn't work bloody hard, or put in much time and effort, just that I didn't feel exactly "good enough" for this to be true.

A tutor of mine, very well respected in his field, published up to his eye balls (numerous books as well as articles and edited collections) once said to me he was still waiting for everyone to find out that he is a "fake" (or something alone those lines). He said that feeling never goes away. Hearing it from him made me feel better because I know he is in no way fraudulant, but is, in fact, very clever. It appears to be a self-consciousness that, although it makes us good academics, being self-aware and throughtful, can sometimes feel crippling and overly self-critical. I just wanted to say, this feeling is normal for other people too. Please, put it in that box of 'one more thing you need to manage' and keep it there.

Best of luck.

Natassia, I know all too well the guilt you're feeling. to be honest, that has never left me, I've had it since my final year undergrad and it's something we have to learn to manage, I think.

It seems to me that your problem isn't so much that you have been "having a life" as the fact that you feel behind. If you didn't feel behind, you wouldn't feel guilty. This isn't all bad because it is definatley something you can remedy by getting your head down, as you say, and working hard this month. Whilst I know the adivce it always to relax and take some playtime, it's very hard to feel 'safe' about it unless you know you're on track, so I'd start there. Work out a nice plan and set yourself some mini targets. Once you begin ticking these off I think you'll find you feel much less anxious.

I'm currently writing my MA dissertation and starting PhD in Sept too, the stress of the PhD applications and proposals was immense, I recall, but, looking back, it's just that: a memory. It won't be long before this summer is also a memory, and you can begin to take back your life (somewhat anyway!). Good luck :)

Pjlu, your honesty is very refreshing. I don't have too much time to write a long post as I'm at work (paid work) right now, but I just read your post and wanted to say thank you (and thanks to everyone). I believe it was me who wrote on your post about masses of edits to "Remember this WILL end, and you will have your degree forever once it's over", so that's some nice symmetry for us :D

I DO feel better today, but, as you said, emotional rollercoaster. It comes and goes, especially when you're so invested, and so eager to suceed as I think many postgrads are. The ones who don't see a master's as "just a good selling point" anyway. I find my thoughts drifting to graduation day, and I ask myself: how to I want to feel on that day? Proud of myself, knowing I did all, literally ALL I could, or dissapointed, as if I know I could have given it more. I know the answer, as I'm sure you all do reading this. If that involves this horrid end point, then so be it. I just wish I had the same clarity when I feel as low as I did yesterday and the day before. I'm glad I discovered this forum.

======= Date Modified 28 Jul 2010 07:36:16 =======
Thank you for your replies, honestly it helps to know others feel the same and I'm not actually alone feeling so uptight about my work sometimes. It's not like a 'normal' job, you're never mentally away from it.

I think you both made some good suggestions, and I will keep them in mind. I bought an expensive scented candle yesterday after work which was really nice and relaxing to have burning into the evening. I might get one for my desk if I can find a safe place for it. I did sleep a little better last night, at least, I feel less muggy this morning. Today marks 9 weeks since I started the dissertation, with 5 to go.

Anyway, thanks for your stories :-) really enjoyed reading them. What subjects/topics are you doing my the way?

I understand your frustration, I'm currently writing my dissertation for MA, and there's a rule in my dept where tutors can only annotate/suggest edits for each section once to stop them writing the damn thing for you! I'm not sure what subject you're doing, or how it works for you -- but I remember with my PhD proposal how frustrating it was (I did 5 drafts I think) to keep getting it back. Whilst it's annoying it's perhaps pretty ordinary. I have trouble writing a sentence without rewriting it 4/5 times these days. Very time consuming. Remember this WILL end, and you will have your degree forever once it's over.

Hi everyone,

Just thought I'd begin a thread about the way I've been feeling recently. It's almost August which means the dissertation deadline for master's students draws ever closer. I feel like I've been writing mine forever and a day. I'm a slow writer, which is frustrating, but usually fine (my degree(s) are in English I'm used to writing and reading methodically), and I'm not worried about missing the deadline or needing an extension (even though the time limit is increasing my worry somehow).
Everyday when I wake up (and each evening close to bed) I feel anxious about my dissertation. I can't explain exactly "what" it is I am worried about. I have a way to go, but I think I can get done what needs to be done so long as I continue to make progress. I feel like what I get done in the 3 hours a day I work (then I go to work) is nothing. It's dwindled a lot since I first started so now I'm lucky to get 4/500 words done. My brain seems to have stopped thinking clearly. I've has a headache for the past 4 days, feel sick sometimes when I'm in front of the document.
Always it is never enough. Always. I never feel I have done a good day's work, and still, I can't "walk away from it" (physically but also mentally). The thought of it been 'unfinished' is always with me.

I've been going to bed early, between 9 and 10, and still feel like I haven't slept enough. I wish I could just have a good ol' cry and feel some release, but nothing like that comes, just the same 'on the edge' feelings all the time.

I guess I wondered if anyone else felt the same, or had some words of wisdom. I can't name the reason I feel so anxious exactly. I just know I do.

Peljam I really agree with what you're saying, especially the part about working hard. I think that's what upsets me the most about these "easy answers": the fact that I have struggled to get where I am, it doesn't just come 'easily', postgrad work is hard and often you have to sacrifice a lot. If you make that commitment, you should honour it, and it upsets me that people such as that horrible troll Gillian McKeith exploit it. Well said!