Ah but we can all be quicker when there is a man with us (or that is my experience - with other women we drift and keep looking whereas men are (and I know this is a generalisation) more analytical so we have to explain what is wrong with that dress or this skirt and so we just get on with it) - shopping is definitely more purposeful when I am with my husband than with a friend:-)

Hi Huhu

It sounds like things aren’t going great but you can get back on track. I’m probably not the best person to give advice on dealing with supervisors since my approach is keep you head down and out of their way! I can give you some advice though on planning etc. You say that you didn’t have to submit a proposal but there is nothing to stop you doing one anyway - in fact I am amazed that you can embark on such a major undertaking without some form of plan. I submitted my proposal a couple of months ago and was subsequently asked to come up with a chapter list and timeline. I did this fairly superficially as a chore that had to be done to tick a box rather than as something that would be useful but have subsequently (having read someone else’s chapter list from a completed PhD) added considerably to parts of it so that it is a useful document. I have fleshed out a fairly detailed outline (using mindmaps as that kind of planning works for my brain) of my lit review with arrows showing links and so on. I plan to do the same for the methodology and other chapters as well. I go back to my proposal regularly to see what the specific aims were (some already only two months down the line (part-time) need changing) I think if you did a detailed plan (even if some bits are sketchy) you could share that with your supervisor and get some feedback to see if you are on the right track.

Hi Eska

Poor you - it does hit all of us at some point.  For me it was when I had been in my department (where I work) a few months and I was asked to give a seminar on the subject of my MSc research (which got a distinction so can't have been that bad). I was TOTALLY ripped apart and not in a supportive way - it was nasty and so bad I refused to give another one for 3 years.  I was happier presenting at international conferences with top academics that among my colleagues. I have since been to lots of these seminars and there does seem to be a scoring points agenda going on.  When I finally did do another one it was because someone was off on long term sick leave (stress) and so it was short notice. I did one I had already presented at an international conference and I wrote very detailed notes to use of I got flustered.  I didn't allow any questions or comments until the end and I practiced every deflection response to negative points "that's a really good point" "I hadn't thought of looking at it from that perspective" "I'll certainly think about the point you have made" "how would you approach this then" etc etc. I also suited up in my best (pre-academic life) corporate suit, heels, full face of make-up etc so I appeared more in control.

It went well.  I have recently presented at an international conference where my approach was somewhat controversial and I got another rough ride but the conference organiser came up to me afterwards and said that I had held my own against some pretty fierce opposition, so the hostile colleagues was good practice!

I'm a part-time PhD student at another university and I know no-one - I also have no real need to go into the department as I am in geography and work better from home (or out doing fieldwork). I have made the effort to go on some training courses even though I don't really need them so that I can do some networking.  I am much older (44) than most other students and am married with children living 15 miles from the university in a rural area - my life is so different from the other students but I do feel lonely when I do go in - who do I have coffee with or lunch? It then becomes a viscous circle of working at home because it is comfier.

Of course I am only doing it to spend quality time with my children - obviously I'd rather be in the dining room working on PhD

So is everyone working hard or are we all wtching Britain's Got (no) Talent?

Having nearly vomitted when I read the two pages of acknowledgements (including what appeared to be every relative who ahs ever lived) of a UG dissertation I was marking a couple of years ago I'd go for the professional approach. I can't think about that student without thinking about her "living her dream" and her dead grandparents (but I struggle to remember what her dissertation was on) - yes honestly!

The other way is to look for the key academics in your field who are publishing in the specific areas you are interested in and then look at their universities. Some journals produce rankings for research in universities in their specific field which are a better indicator than lists like the Times Good Unviersity Guide which is much more based on / aimed at undergrad study. That may throw up universities that you might not have considered but which are among the best for your specific subject.

You don't say whether you have restrictions on where you can move to (eg family commitments or visa restrictions) as that may come into play. And of course the funding situation which may be a major factor.

The other way is to look for the key academics in your field who are publishing in the specific areas you are interested in and then look at their universities. Some journals produce rankings for research in universities in their specific field which are a better indicator than lists like the Times Good Unviersity Guide which is much more based on / aimed at undergrad study. That may throw up universities that you might not have considered but which are among the best for your specific subject.

You don't say whether you have restrictions on where you can move to (eg family commitments or visa restrictions) as that may come into play. And of course the funding situation which may be a major factor.

What a devoted son you are (!)

I echo what others have said.  Regarding the shoes - she will be on her feet for a lot of the day and may be walking / standing on grass so very high or very narrow heels might not be the most comfortable / suitable.

Not sure about the hat / fascinator position (at most of the graduations I have been to (4 of my own and 3 a year for 5 years as a member of academic staff) very few people (virtually none) wear them) but I know that some people like to dress up more akin to a wedding (much more so than at my first graduation 20 years ago). If she is wearing a hat / fascinator make sure it isn't too big as it will obscure the view of people sitting behind her in the actual ceremony.

Dan you are outrageous (thankfully!)

That reminds me of a summer job I had when I was an undergrad - working for the JMB (not sure if it still exists but it was the Northern Exam Boards for O levels (if anyone remembers them) and A levels.  Our job was to check that every page had been marked, marks had been all transferred correctly to the front and then correctly added up and transferred to the common mark sheet. What we actually did quite a lot of the time was read bits out to each other and snigger.  The big excitement was when you got an unknown code on the front and you had to find out what it meant - I had one (which was on huge A0 tech drawing paper) which turned out to mean cheating.

Happy days:-)

HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-)

Won't be watching - will take advantage of shops being quiet.

(But husband and 11 year old son will be - last time my son then 8 threw a complete stop because he wasn't allowed to stay up until 10.30 on a school night to watch (i think) Switzerland vs Ukraine which my husband wasn't even watching!):-)

What do you mean by PhD programmes - generally they aren't programmes but are individual pieces of research which you undertake guided by a supervisory team - consequently you can't compare them like you can taught programmes. Different universities will specialise in different subjects and within that different areas of expertise. I know that colleagues of mine who have PhDs mention where they studied but also who their supervisor was and who their external examiner was.