To be honest, I do understand women who refuse to change their name. If I think about myself, as a man, I don't want to change my name. It is who I am. So why ask a potential wife to give up her maiden name. Of course I wouldn't tell her that I really understand any concerns and would just be quiet and hope that she will give up her name without expecting me to convince her to do so. If she refused, however, hasta la proxima.

If you don't mind my curiosity, what was the difference? I need to know before I committ either mistake.

Olivia, can "Happiness" really be the measure of "success" of marriage? If we look at the historic meaning of marriage as an institution, it rarely provided happiness, rather financial stability to raise children.

In my opinion, marriage is a relict of the past and doesn't work these days. Hence the exorbitant divorce rates in Western countries. Do couples really need to be married to be happy and to provide stability for their children? And in some Islamic countries, marriage perhaps only continues to exist because of limited rights for women.

This is an international forum, although UK based, most students on here are only studying in the UK but have foreign passports. In 99% of countries you can have the Dr title in your passport. In some you are even required to do so by law. Is it true that the UK does not allow its citizen to have a respective entry added to the passport?

What really annoys me is that in my home country the title is widely accepted, respected and acknowledged, also outside academia,also with regard to employment. Whereas in the UK, noone gives a sh++

We are not talking about friends and family. I meant outside the work place, not at home or with relatives. Might be cultural difference.

That's the difference between the UK and many European countries. Within the latter, the Dr title becomes part of your identity and your name, which means it will be incorporated into your passport and other important documents. And yes, you quite often get better treatment, nice side effect and not uncomfortable at all. In the UK, on the other hand, people appear to be reluctant to use their title for which they worked hard and many years, quite stupid if you ask me. Sir Alan Sugar doesn't use his title only for the work place, he IS Sir Alan Sugar. If you are Dr X, then why not using the title outside of work?

Having said that, I still think it's a great forum. It certainly helped me getting through my PhD thus far.

WHEN is it happening? Your silence on this issue, administrators, is slightly annoying. 500 views on the thread and all we get is silence? Just tell us, please, is it going to happen or not. If not, fair enough. If yes, some sort of indicator when (for example, 2009, 2010, new millenium) would be helpful.

I know what you mean, Shani. People looking down on PhD students and not giving any respect. I've learnt that it is best not to fight the feeling. If they wanna call me a "student", so be it. If they want to look down at me, I'll secretly smile to myself and work hard to get better.

On the other hand, I have this somewhat Socratian vision of being a student, to belong to a circle of wisdomseekers and such. Of course it's an illusion, but it helped me in thepast.

Interesting point, but before we dig deeper into the phenomenonological stuff, I rather go to bed too. I'll probably dream of my self-created reality. In fact, that's what life boils down too.

I've been on this forum for years, but what I read here on this thread makes me wonder why. Some people appear to have serious issues with being called "students". Sorry, but whatever you're all trying to say, someone doing a PhD is a student, nothing more, nothing less, in that particular capacity and regardless of any additional job, teaching activities, age or maturity. These are additional factors and, as such, different capacities. We assume multiple roles if we teach and learn, but in the latter capacity we are students. And that's nothing to have an issue about. Some level of humility does not harm if one pursues acquisition of knowledge. Of course we don't work for supervisors, but we should be open enough to be still willing to learn, even if we are former CEOs of Pepsi Cola!

I sympathise. Especially the bit about just not having the energy to work day and night. Years of PhD research appear to drain/squeeze the last bit of energy out of the body. I recently took a week off and found myself too tired to conduct simple mundane household tasks. Regarding the relationsship, this seems like a tricky situation. Especially if the partner is not doing something similar.

I think there is a fundamental problem in today's academic environment. Students are regarded as students, staff are regarded as staff and identify themselves with job titles like lecturer or professor. Nobody seems to regard themselves as researchers or scientists, this lack of communal spirit of belonging to something bigger must have got lost over the past decades. Therefore it is very difficult to answer your question, sadly.

Just one thing I would like to add, how do you know if it's a "great" PhD offer? Simply based on the university and/or funding, this is absolute nonsense. Unfortunatley you won't know if it really is a great offer until you've worked with your supervisor for a few months and have some sort of breakthrough in your doctoral studies.