How many other friends has she got in this new place? If not many then this may colour her judgement a bit, also, it is a bit of a leap from being friends at work to becoming bf and gf. I would have thought that a few meetings outside work would have been the norm before the splitting with a long term gf would be in order, after all, people are allowed to go out with whoever they like, or go out, like you did with a couple. Is she sure the split was his choice, how long had this previous relationship been in place??? This person could well be a serial flitter There is a big leap to be made between being friends and being anything else and I would advise caution with regards to anything that appears to be progressing rather fast towards couple status, especially when a big move has just taken place. If the feeling is that you may lose one of the few friends you have, there may be more reason for pursuing something that in other circumstances might not even be considered. The not missing might be due to having other things to do in a new place, or feeling that the relationship can survive without feelings of angst all the time even if there is a sticky patch in the mix. The only thing you can really advise is that it is something to think long and hard about its a personal decision, you can only offer the reverse side of any arguments she may make, six months means this is not a 'head over heels' thing, and I would suspect that if there was something more than friendship maybe six months is rather long for no progression at all, if both parties wanted it to do so. To suggest that its bf or no friendship sounds a bit manipulative to me.

I am in a similar position really, lack of prompt replies to work sent etc. today though I was in a meeting with other PhDers and the person in charge of PhD students and another prof who run the sessions were really helping another student, who they also supervise and whose work she had asked us to read and comment on. I was amazed at the level of help compared with what I am getting, not that I need anyone to stand over me, but help is obviously useful when it comes to getting your point across and making sure those outside your area can understand what you are getting at isn't it? It also helps to reassure you that what you are suggesting is not a load of rubbish and is also needed for things you can't do for yourself, which is where I am at at the moment. Anyway this person asked why I was so quiet today, and was I alright, so I told him how amazed I as at the level of support compared with what I was getting, the result was so supportive, the person in charge is going to e-mail my supervisors tomorrow morning and ask them gently (because I don't want feathers ruffled as I don't want to upset them really and they are the experts for part of my thesis, although less so than I originally thought and, like you, this is a small field) to get on with things. I'm hoping that will do the trick. The admin secretary told me when I bumped into him a week or so ago that there was talk of getting me another supervisor (because I think people have noticed the lack of help for others, and that their 'laid back' approach is practically horizontal) but if this happens it will be my third change, so I'm not sure if that is such a brill idea. The first change was instigated by one of my present supervisors. However, the die has been cast, so I will just have to wait and see  and hope that it works out alright, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Well done! My supervisor also covers things in different colours, red for this, green for that, blue for something else.. in fact he has pinched all the best colours and left me with the brown and the sort of muddy grey which are hard to see amongst everything else ... but sometimes its just comments, and sometimes it is 'you need to expand this bit...Oh I see you have' or 'nice one!!!' which make me smile a bit, he sort of edits as he thinks.

They said 50% should have the opportunity, not that they should actually go to uni, not quite the same thing, I might have the 'opportunity' to be an estate agent, but I wouldn't do it (sorry that's the first thing I thought of :$) A percentage of teachers may not have a degree, the BEd didn't come in until the late 1960s and the first ones through were a bit later than that, they may of course have a degree in another subject other than education, but not all have by any means, they took the teacher training course instead. Teaching should return to its roots as a vocation, not as something done when nothing else is available. Being very good at something doesn't mean you will be good at teaching it to others.

Any system that can rule a large number of pupils out simply because of their home background is not fair, (I know that some pupils do not have a quiet place, or even a table, to work at at home, what chance do they have? It doesn't matter how 'bright' you are if you can't study, in my day schools shut at 3.50, and there were no homework clubs etc. and not every child can stay to such clubs even where they exist)  Truly comprehensive education gives a much better chance to those from impoverished backgrounds, but until the public schools and grammar schools are eliminated and all schools are made to take the whole range of pupils there will always be top and bottom of the league schools.


With the increase in fees, the government will be able to reduce entry to university, whilst protesting that all have an equal chance of going there.

When I get to the end of my research I will have more to say on this issue, but from a different standpoint, so then you will all be able to read it! Watch this space folks!

:-)

Incidentally, now they have softened people up with the idea of 36,000, if they halve it - will people accept that, thinking they have been listened to, whereas in actual fact that was the figure the government was aiming for anyway?

You need to put them in, if you don't I expect your examiners will find them, and wil then ask you why they are not included. The point is that they have bee published before you submitted and to leave them out would suggest that there is a reason for the omission, such as you have nothing to add to what has already been published, which is bound not to be the case. How you do this may depend on the way you have written your review, you could add it at the end to show they arrived after you did your main search, and you could put something like, 'very recently the following papers have been published which complement my work, (put in names here). These are of great value in locating my work within the context of.... although they differ from my work as they discuss xyz and have used methods abc. The material they contain will be considered in chapter ... and critiqued with reference to my area of study so that the similarities and the differences may be revealed' or something like that.

Firstly, if it is not compulsory, this is not really a group yet, just a collection of individuals, so you need to get them working together. So, firstly get the members to introduce themselves, this will also give you an idea of their starting points. Then explain to them what your expectations are - for example if you intend to give them reading to do, explain how you will check that they have indeed read, and understood, whatever it is. Then I would do as has been suggested, give them something to read, get them into groups and ask them to produce a presentation about the reading. This could be the same info, when you could get them to critique the presentations, or on different readings, when you could ask the rest if they thought the presentation did justice to the subject. You can then suggest ways they could have improved their presentations. Follow this with the work you expect them to do by the next session, also get them into groups so they can present something to the class relate this to the reading that you expect them to do if you want (you could prepare a checklist for the groups). Tell them there will be some questions for them to answer concerning the reading(maybe one of these could be related to one of the references in the paper to encourage wider reading) and that there will be questions after each presentation is completed. Don't think of this as a way of getting through the time allotted, make it active and dynamic. You may find this group will be better in the long run, talkative groups may just be trying to take charge!

I was always told to use power-point slides as a memory aid rather than something the audience should be reading, so I tend to use few words on them. The last presentation I did was called 'chasing the rainbow' and was all about the research process. At the end I used the real round rainbow to illustrate that research is never ending like the rainbow - and that single image took ages to get right as of course all clip art pics of rainbows are arches, and the pics I had of real rainbows were not really clear enough and it was hard to turn one pic upside down and join them together without a line appearing in the middle! People commented on it though.:-), so it was worth it. Mind you, I also had lots of other things going on including a couple of experiments, mainly because the organiser had e-mailed me ensure I was going to include experiments as she was eager to learn some more science as I had included some in the last presentation she had attended ....so how could I refuse :$.

I hate going to presentations where people just read what is on the screen, one I went to recently was like that, plus the person had a lot to say so they were going really fast and it was very difficult to remember anything, and I like something I can have at least a fair chance of understanding.

KB,
Think about this, being top dog can really take it out of people. This ruthlessness will not go away, it is part of her. So, What do you feel like when you know you have a meeting/something that might spark off a row? If you think, OK it is just her, I can do this,or do you think OMG I have to see her today, and dread the outcome. However big or important she is it is no way to treat anyone. In every field there are nice and - shall we say - not so nice people. Personally I could never work with anyone who behaved like this. If you think you need to be with her to further your own career you could have years of angst ahead. Those who may not be quite so well known may be well known in a few years and may welll have a better outlook on life. We all have off days, no-one is nice all the time (except maybe Mary Poppins, although I think even she had her moments :$)but you have to learn to control these things and go and kick a door or something, not take it out on others and especially not on those who are your students or those for whom you are providing guidance. I would advise taking a piece of paper and writing down all the good things and all the bad things and see which list is a)longer and b) more important to you. It might help you decide. Incidentally, if anyone behaved like that towards me, and there have been a few, I have always said to them that I was not prepared to discuss anything until they calmed down a bit, and when they had done so, they could come back to my lab - a had a whole suite of rooms at one time (which sounds quite posh, but wasn't really, they were just so I could separate my various bits of work, and some bits of equipment were so big they needed a room all to themselves) and we could discuss it further,don't accept this appaling behaviour it is unporfessional and rather childish as well. Good luck!:-)

I prefer footnotes too really, but they are just not accepted so easily in education, endnotes are the thing! They don't count for my word count thank goodness, they run to about 4000 words per chapter so far! :$

Presenting in front of anyone I know is always more traumatic for me too. I guess its because at large conferences you will probably never meet most of the people there again!

could you put something like. In conclusion, in my paper ref xyz which relates to (whatever the  section of the material concerned is) I noted that - and put in your ready prepared section -. This has been developed, refined and located within the overarching concept expressed within the chapter... whether this will work or not may depend upon your thesis of course. My supervisors are always quoting themselves, but I suppose they are not quite in the same position as we are:$

I use masses of endnotes. (footnotes are not used now in education so much, they are considered a bit old hat!) I use them to enlarge on a point, for example to explain in more detail why being paid for working a certain number of hours, and being paid a sum for the completion of a job lead to different dynamics, or to forestall a possible question that could arise, without upping my word count with a lengthy explanation. They are also useful to expand on something, for example I have put at one point 'although working alone was possible' and the endnote gives an example or two, a farmer could mill his own wheat to produce bread, a potter might collect his own clay. The material in the body of the text contains enough information for a reader to follow the argument, the endnote provides futher information for those who want more detail. My supervisors like them too! What they shouldn't do though is bring in a whole new idea, that is the material in them should not be essential to the main text, it should just expand upon what is there. At least that is my idea of their use.

It isn't much comfort I know, but I think a lot of people have been just where you are. Its a funny old world you know, everyone thinks that everyone else is having a better time of things, when in fact most of us are all the same. I started out on what I thought was my goal in life, only to find I was in the worst place ever, and where I had chosen to go, because it was supposed to be the best place- well second best actually, the first place wouldn't have me because I am left handed (they wouldn't get away with that one nowadays would they!)in fact was a stopping off point for a load of girls who were just looking for husband fodder. I had two years of feeling just like you, but then I decided enough was enough and found myself another place. It was the best thing I ever did. Now I'm not suggesting that you should give up, not at all, but what I did was I also found some new interests, and some great new friends developed from there, these things do take a bit of time, and you do have to go for it and join things. I am really quite a shy person, but I've learned to overcome it to the extent that I'm now a chair of one of the local community centre as well as loads of other things.  Unis are a good place for meeting others, and in a week or so there will be a new set of people arriving at uni at all stages. Don't worry about the age bit, I am much older than you and it doesn't bother me! As for not getting your own home etc. my daughter did a similar thing to me and started down the wrong path, but she changed tack and has just moved into her first flat - quite spacious for London and on the key worker scheme, so she only 'owns' 30% at the moment, but its a start - she is around your age, so there is the possibility of getting something.

I think most people have just a few real friends, that's just the way it is, so i don't think you are unusual there. As others have said, this site is good, I would say everyone here will always try to help everyone else whatever the problem.
with best wishes and hugs
J

Depends on your subject for one thing I would think, but for me, every research question has an aim attached, so that they relate to each other. I have 4 of each, which is considered about right by my supervisor, but it is in education and other subjects probably have a different way of looking at things. For me, the mega question is the title!

It seemed fine, it wasn't small, about 15cm at least and quite rotund which might have helped I suppose. It was swimming about in the container for most of the day as we coudn't deliver it until 5.30, and it was quite lively. There were no visible marks on it - apart from some fluff from the carpet, which it soon lost in the water. It ate some goldfish food too. I nearly went out and bought a pond kit, but thought that was a bit excessive for just the one fish, and might encourage the cats to bring in more. Seems that fish are Ok for quite a while out of water, much longer than I thought.