Ooop: just realsed you said "wife", so she must have actually married him. Oh dear

Sounds like the woman in question had a lucky escape, PCGeek!

I dare say that men don't think for a minute that they own their wives if they change their name; but I think that women taking men's names continues the (subtle and insiduous) belief than men are wortrh a bit more than women. I take Shani's point that we already have a man's name - our fathers' - but that could stop in one generation, if people wanted to.

Besides, women go through the massive dangers of childbirth: I think they should name the child for that alone

Very funnyBut I think (if I ever get it) I will use the title in dealing with external people (i.e. not my family). It's not insulting to other people: and going back to the marriage thing, if married women expect to be addressed by a new title and name (assuming they have changed their name), then why can't anyone else who's undergone a change in life (like becoming a doctor)?

Also I'm from a very working class Catholic background, where career advice to girls never went further than "So, what are you going to call your children?" So being Dr is something I never thought people like me could get until I was much older: I'm not going to be over-shy about it; though I wouldn't get mad if people didn't use it.

Shani, thanks for the advice
I have an appointment next week so I'll get started on it then.

I may as well send 10% of my salary to my dentist: had two root canals last year, and now the teeth need capping (or so he says) to prevent them becoming loose. Two hundred a go!

Mind you I don't really want to whinge cos the first time I had a root canal surgery, I had been in so much pain from toothache that I would have paid anything to stop it. And my nice dentist stayed late to fix it on the day rather than making me wait three weeks (as the receptionist told me I had to). Toothache must be one of the worst pains: so stay friends with the dentist, I say

We're videoed and forced to watch the (often unintentionally amusing) results.

I run around too much, apparently. And it's true! I saw it with my own eyes.

While I'm at it, who came up with "learner" as a replacement for "student" anyway? No doubt the same people who call a library a "learning resource centre".

Going back to the "student" debate: I really hate the email addresses that all students - undergrad and postgrad - are given at my uni. It's

[email protected]

The "learner" bit really annoys me! It's so condescending. If you are not learning in your job, whatever age you are, you're probably crap at your job. Isn't everyone a "learner"?

It's there now, I just looked.

Congratulations!

You're so right, Bad Haircut: I have recently come to that conclusion. I've seen some people walk through a viva with very little data and a thesis that reads like GSCE science (apologies to smart GCSE students); and others have been told to re-submit with major changes despite having published 5 papers (i.e.their data cannot have been that bad).

How's your hair these days, by the way?

I'd rather have a big arse than her miserable face.

Swantje, Lara's post made it quite clear that she only just found out that her supervisor's dad died, even though it was a few months ago. There was no need for you to be so judgmental (in my view).

Lara, it's probably easier than you think: I wrote a goodbye letter to a colleague, the same age as me, who had only days to live from cancer. I thought it would be impossible to write anything meaningful, but it was not, once I started. It's very cliched, but don't try to sound like someone else, and just think what you would like to hear in those circumstances. That's the way I did it, anyway.

I was 30. Everyone's life moves at a different pace, so I don't think that any age is the "best" age.

Could be depression, or anaemia: the symtoms you describe have a lot of potential causes.

I would suggest seeing your doctor, too: they are there to help!