Thanks Sascha for sorting this out. And thank you to everyone who has been so supportive- it's been a pretty nasty few days and perhaps I should have been stronger and just ignored the comments to save us all the hassle. It's just so hard to ignore when someone is tearing your personality to pieces with no reason and I felt as though I had to stand up for myself, but in retrospect that probably made the situation worse. One thing's for sure, I will never post about my man issues again! Anyway, I am looking forward to a new brighter day on PGF tomorrow, I hope all of you who have a bank holiday tomorrow have a good one! Thanks again & best wishes all, KB

[quote]Quote From Dispatcher:

Don't be abusive you silly Cow [quote]

Is it just me or is there some irony in this statement?!

I too will not be back to the forum until something is done about this abuse. Thanks again everyone for your support, let's hope this gets sorted out soon. Best, KB

======= Date Modified 02 May 2010 19:03:03 =======
Modified- yes you are right EV, I had just typed out yet another response but have just deleted it. I can't be bothered dealing with this troll any more. Thank you for making me see sense :) KB

======= Date Modified 02 May 2010 18:01:42 =======
Haha, we're all confused Sneaks ;) Probably best not to worry about it lol!
And thanks Bug for your kind words. Best, KB

Thanks KC, that was precisely the bit I was struggling with! Dispatcher, your English is very difficult if not impossible to understand in many places- a point which many people have already made to you and one which I have ignored until now because I did not wish to be insulting about your poor grasp of the language. A lot of it is truly non-sensical. And actually my mum is a languages teacher and thus I do also speak French and German, although I see absolutely no relevance of this fact to the current debate and am puzzled as to why you brought this up in the first place. KB.

I honestly cannot make head or tail of your last post dispatcher, so I am not even going to respond. If you have no more to say then that is a good thing and will please everyone on here. KB

======= Date Modified 02 May 2010 16:36:41 =======

Oh, yet more assumptions! Well Dispatcher, I will be more than pleased if you do not communicate with me again on the forum- this is what I suggested several days ago I seem to remember, so I am thrilled that we agree on something. Your insults do not hurt me, I have enough faith in myself to know that they do not apply. I do not have a big ego, quite the opposite, although through your non-stop assault of my personality you have provoked me to the extent where I felt the need to defend myself and who I am, given that other people on the forum may not know me very well. You have presented yourself in a very poor light over the last few days and I think you have done yourself more damage than you have managed to do to me or anyone else on the forum through your continued unjustified attacking of people. I have not been my usual self as I usually avoid confrontation at all costs, but I will not be treated in the manner that you have treated me without sticking up for myself. Finally, I apologise to everyone else for the unforeseen unpleasant tone that this exchange has cast on the forum over the last few days. The forum is here to be a positive place where people are supportive and respectful of each other- it should not be used in the manner in which it has and I regret being a part of that, but as I said, I am not prepared to be torn to pieces without standing up for myself. Thankyou everyone for your continued support- I have found my experience on the foum over the last few days to be rather unpleasant so it has been great to have people sticking up for me as well. Hope you all have an awesome rest of the weekend! KB

Actually Dispatcher, you will see that you hijacked the thread and carried over the issues from the other thread, not either of us.
I have not used any bad language towards you. I have not twisted anything you have said. I do not need to see a doctor. Feel free to consult the PhD forum administrator, you are the person who has instigated such unpleasantness and who has been name calling and insulting many members of the forum with your nastiness. You will see that no other person who has been unfortunate enough to be dragged into this debate has backed up your nasty insults, vile assumptions, and general unpleasantness towards me and towards so many other members of the forum. You have insulted and offended a lot of people on here, as many other members of the forum have pointed out. So take a good look at yourself and your attitudes, the problems are stemming from yourself and not from others. KB.

Oh dear, I see the debate has now spilled over onto this thread. I assume that particular post below was aimed at me. For the record, I was born and bred in the UK actually. And you are making yet more unjustified assumptions. Anyway, it would be quite rude to hijack this thread and fill it with the unpleasantness that has dominated in the other thread so I am going to leave it there. Apologies Bigmistake for bringing this onto your thread! Glad to hear that you are feeling better about your situation- it's so easy to make mistakes and so long as you can learn from them and move on then in some ways it is not always a bad thing to make mistakes! Best wishes, KB

Thanks Pjlu, you are right, it is his issue and I should let it remain that way. I am absolutely not insisting on trying to be friends with him, as I said, it is up to him and I understand that he doesn't want that, and I am certainly not trying to force that in any way. My only concern was his inappropriate behaviour at work and that he was going to get himself into trouble over it, and I know how mortified he would be if the supervisor got involved. I wanted to try to resolve the situation for his own sake, not just mine. No, dispatcher is not the subject of this- for some reason he has taken this opportunity to be extremely unpleasant and judgemental towards me for reasons unknown to myself. In my experience only a very bitter and unhappy person with some sort of issues feels the need to behave in this manner towards others, so I will not continue my debate with him. I would never dream of attacking a person on this forum who was in a difficult situation and just posted to ask for some advice on how to resolve it in the best way for the other person- I have more respect for people than that. Thanks for your advice, KB

Hey, thanks Eska. I know there isn't really much I can do, I just really hate bad feeling and would rather resolve it! He has cut a lot of people out of his life before when they have upset him- it does seem to be the way he copes with things, but this has left him with no friends to speak of and without contact with any of his family. I guess he just doesn't know how to deal with things and that is the only way he can cope. But yes, you are right, I can't do anything else now so I will leave it be. If things do blow up at work and he gets into trouble at least I know I have tried everything to rectify the situation and prevent it from happening. Cheers, KB

Hey Slowmo! Yes, I think I understand what you mean. I only see my participants (people with Alzheimer's) a few times but even in that short time I get quite close to some of them and it feels bad to hear about all of the really awful things that some of them are going through, collect my data, and then just sort of say goodbye. It feels bad in one sense too because there is not an awful lot I can do about some of the problems they are having, although having links to various services I have been able to offer indirect support in a few cases. A lot of them ask me if I will go and see them again, and sometimes it helps if I point them in the direction of further research with people with Alzheimer's that is going on in the department that they would be able to participate in and therefore maintain the contact with the university, which a lot of people seem to find beneficial. I am hoping that in the end I can use my data to design and trial an intervention for a post-doc project, so at least that way it would offer something for them and more ongoing support. I have also felt bad leaving voluntary work placements with people with mental health problems too when I have had to move on, I think it just shows that you really care. It is hard not to get very involved when you are working with people who really value your input, so I think what you are feeling is probably natural. At the same time, you shouldn't feel like you have to keep having the same level of input, that's not realistic at the end of the day. Would you be able to maybe just visit on special occasions now and again just to keep in touch, if you feel that you would like to? Or keep in touch in other ways, by sending letters to let them know how you are doing and how your research is going? I'm sure they appreciate that you are really busy and would be really pleased to hear from you in this way if you felt that it might be appropriate. But don't feel guilty- you haven't just used them- it sounds as though you really care about your work with them and of course your research will hopefully help in the long-term even if not directly for this particular group. Try to keep that in mind. Best, KB

Yeah sorry sneaks, that was very ill-timed, I will plan my troll-provoking posts more carefully next time! ;-)
Believe me, I have done everything to try to alleviate this guy's upset over what has happened, but it is very difficult to do any more 9 months on when he still refuses to even look at me or be in the same room! Oh well, I guess I will see how it goes, it can't get any worse lol! Thanks, KB