Wine sounds like a good idea. At the risk of sounding like a daft sod I want to get mine something special when I leave. He's been amazing with me and I am his first PhD student so I think it would be nice. No idea what yet though!

Yeah I've had a similar thing recently MK, it's hard to stay on track and know where you're heading when unpredictable things are constantly cropping up. Sounds like you're doing well though.

Yesterday:

======= Date Modified 17 Feb 2010 17:37:46 =======
I understand that it might come across as me having that attitude and I do realise some of it is probably subjective Sneaks, but I'm honestly not exaggerating here: some of the essays I'm expected to give decent marks to are barely comprehensible. In the essay I looked at I'd read lots of secondary criticism, I'd quoted extensively from the text, analyzed the use of language, attempted an argument with some originality and structured and expressed the whole thing well. Now I'm not saying it was the best essay in the world but it fulfilled all the criteria we are supposedly meant to mark by.
I'm leaning towards what you suggested at the end there...
ETA: sorry Eska cross-posted! I'm at the same uni so it can't be that but I can totally imagine the discrepancy being that much between universities. And I agree about the permanent staff...

Ok, I'm probably going to come across as a pompous wind bag here but I don't mind. I'm mired in marking essays and decided to have a look back through some of my undergraduate essays to get a feel for marks (bearing in mind I only graduated 2 years ago). Reading back through an essay that I remember spending ages and ages on, I remembered getting a relatively low mark for it (less than 60%) and being quite upset. Now, going on the criteria by which that essay was marked the vast majority of the ones I've received would fail, straight off the bat. Half of them can barely string a sentence together. Yet we moderate essays in groups and when some other lecturers looked at a couple I wanted to fail last time they insisted I change the mark by around 10 % (one of them made a massive massive error about the writer she was discussing, the kind of information which a 5 year old would know- and this has been tested!)
This isn't a 'STANDARDS ARE SLIPPING!' rant because as I say I'm not long out of university myself. I'm just trying to work out what's changed? I can say with complete confidence that my work was miles better than anything I've marked so far yet I had to fight tooth and nail for my first 70%....I don't know. Anyone come across anything similar?

Ha ha, Maria me too. 'This [doctored] evidence suggests that Chaucer may have actually been a woman.'

No, for the reasons every else has mentioned BUT I think it could be a sad sign of the times more than anything as the pressure to publish (and do everything else under the sun) is so intense.

Oh, Isola is such a beautiful name!

======= Date Modified 16 Feb 2010 20:12:15 =======
Thank you for all your kind replies,

As usual it was absolutely fine. Quite enjoyable even, I was nattering away quite happily by half way through: as you said, KB, its the anticipation that's so hard. I'm not really a shy and retiring person in 'real life' (ha ha!) but academia seems to turn me into a nervous wreck. Having said that, when I look back over all I've done in the last year and a half I have come a long way and can confidently do things now that would have killed me back then. Maybe I am improving, who knows.
Angelofthenorth I have considered counselling at times. It would be really great to have some kind of 'tool' that I could use to calm my nerves as at the minute I've got no real method of handling them and it can be physically painful at times! I suppose it can't help going to my GP and seeing what they say. During the next year and a half (and beyond) I'm only going to face more and more stressful situations and I don't want to be terrified out of my wits all the time.
I'm going to have a think about things anyway. Hope all of us bundles of nerves manage to stagger through it!

I've been teaching now almost every week since October. That's about 5 months. It's the same class every week and I've never had any real problems with them. But I still get really really nervous every week. Not just before I'm due to go in: for most of the day. I'm bloody sick of it! Nerves are the bane of my life. I don't understand why some people can glide around effortlessly and I'm constantly convinced I'm going to fall over. The worst thing I've not got to the point where I can enjoy teaching yet because I'm always so nervous. If I want to do this for the rest of my life then I really need to get to the point where I can relax slightly.
I have calmed down in a lot of ways. I'm pretty sure my nerves aren't visible anymore and once I get into my stride I generally forget about being scared (apart from when I glance at the clock and think 'oh god, how am I going to fill up another half hour). But my class is at 3 and now my heart has started beating faster, I feel sick and sweaty (sorry!). 5 months is surely enough...when will it end!!

======= Date Modified 14 Feb 2010 23:11:35 =======
Ahhhhhhhhhhh, I'm so annoyed! I've tried to reply to this thread twice and both times did something wrong and lost it!

Anyway...Glad to see things are going well for you Eska and the tomatoes are working. I started thinking I could do without them recently but I was wrong! I've been slacking off a bit, and also I want to start checking off my daily aims on here again. I was ill for a couple of days earlier in the week and it's amazing how much it can throw you off balance. So, my aims whenever I was on here last were:


1. Send chapters to second supervisor, no matter how much I hate them! DONE thank god.
2. Re-read 2 plays and find and read corresponding sources. second part done, not first part.
3. Read text for class, plan and teach lesson. DONE but didn't get to teach as I was ill!
4. Start to try and figure out Endnote. Not done.

I've still been working fairly hard but have this horrible sensation recently of time trickling away. Ok, this week:

1. Finish reading source X
2. Re-read 2 plays, make notes.
3. Finish reading text, research and teach.
4. Have marked rest of essays (3 per day).
5. Brainstorm ideas for expanding journal paper
6. Briefly research ideas for next 3 chapters.

So, tomorrow:
1. Finish reading text for class, plan lesson.
2. Mark 3 essays.
3. Finish reading source X.

Got to find the motivation to stay on top of this. Good luck all.

Sorry I'm late to this Bilbo, congrats!

I love how we've taken Tom's innocent question,found a testing device and collected ordered, statistical results (with some debate about methodology and accuracy along the way)

Somebody mentioned this to me recently. Has it just started up? I've joined, but I'm a bit confused about the whole thing (really doesn't take much with technology).

I may compile a list if more people take it. MathKitty is currently Queen Geek supreme, I am a mere underling. This forum needs more hierarchies!

I only got 11.8 %...But I do think that test is heavily weighted towards maths/science geeks rather than your literature or history geek, for example :-s