Hi Phoebe,

I'm not sure what you mean by research report at this stage (just me being foolish) do you just mean ideas for your thesis? I also came straight from undergrad to PhD at the same uni. In my first meeting with my supervisor I came along with some ideas for research and he told me very gently that none of them would work. I went away, thought some more, and came up with what has become the basis of my thesis.
I think you're over-thinking this one - easy to do! Get your head down and take on board what your sups have said. The PhD is about perseverance and we ALL face moments like this from time to time. Learn from it and move on. You can do this!

I would always italicise rather than underline.

Hi Ev,

I can't give you much advice on the situation with your sups as I don't fully understand sponsors etc. Aside from that, it sounds to me like you are being very hard on yourself and unneccesarily so. The Phd is a process of learning how to be a researcher- nobody is expecting you to have that nailed after 3 months! There is a big danger that if you put too much pressure on yourself now you will end up hating your PhD very early on and wanting to leave. You have another 3 years to go so you need to preserve some energy.
Don't try and do 10 hours today: you are setting yourself up for a fall. If you only end up doing a few hours again you will hate yourself for it and the cycle of fear and negativity will just carry on. Write a list of tasks which you need to get done today, do those and then go home and relax tonight. I recommend (as I always do!) reading Jean Bolker's 'How to Write your Dissertation in 15 minutes a day'. The key message of the book is, as Sue says, the PhD is a marathon, not a sprint and as long as you can continue to do a little bit every day you will eventually get there.Procrastination and not being able to work long hours are such common problems amongst PhD-ers. I can honestly say that I've never met anyone who hasn't struggled with these things. One day of not getting much done is not the end of the world- lots of people recover from having months away from their work.

Hi Cake Girl,

It went really well thanks! My supervisor is an absolute star. He said he was pleased I'd taken the time to try and identify the problem and to work out ways of resolving it (that's all thanks to the advice I was given here). He then suggested a new structure for the chapter that actually works! This might not be of use to anyone but I'm going to set it out in case it is:
- start off with your 'straw man' which you will later tear down. In my case, for example, this made up of the presumed differences between medieval and early modern literature.
- part of my problem was that there are lots of presumptions and I couldn't figure out the link between them yet. He said not to worry about that, and to just separate them out into sections with no link. I.e: presumption A, presumption B, presumption C and so on. Say at the beginning that I'll be dealing with a number of disparate issues.
- Say how the texts I've studied might seem to confirm those presumptions.
- Go on to pull apart the straw man, which should be about 3/4 of the total length of the chapter. Do this section by section.
- Use the same bits of text which I used to confirm the straw man to pull apart the straw man. I.e: say 'if we look at this section of text in a different way we can see that...'

It's a very simple structure and probably seems obvious to some, but it's allowed me to not get confused trying to work out explanations for things all the time. For now it's enough to say 'this section of text can be seen in different ways'. That alone is enough to start dismantling presumptions. The explanations for why it differs from those presumptions can come later.

Sorry if I've rambled on but taking this kind of pragmatic approach has really helped me get back on my feet. (up)

Hello,

Just wanted to quickly update. My supervisor has replied and was really nice about it all, said not to beat myself up and that there's plenty of time, either to salvage what I have or decide to let it go. He's given me some ideas for how I might 'fix' the chapter and we're going to talk about these tomorrow and decide what to do with it.
I should have known he wouldn't get angry, he's the nicest supervisor in the world and is always sympathetic. Thanks once again for all of your replies- Megara, I may yet decide to scrap it, and Ive had a similiar experience to you actually by just trying to work out whether I want to or not. It's made me try and confront why it isn't working at the moment rather than blindly soldier on and hope for the best.
Anyway I must be off; I'm teaching Paradise Lost in a couple of hours which is another massive hurdle to jump!

Thanks again x

I can only echo what the others have said Rishi- I've just started teaching and still feel like the students probably know more than me! You kind of get used to it! Keep posting on this forum and keep your spirits up.

Thanks again guys,

I just fired off an email explaining what I've tried to do so far, where I think I've gone wrong and what I'd like to do next and suggesting that we still meet on Wednesday to talk things through. I've said that I would value his honest opinion and if he thinks it's just a case of me persevering with what I've got then Im willing to do it. I also apologised profusely for missing my deadline (grovelled 8-)) The e-mail was a thousand words long so hopefully he can see I've put some real thought into it!
Your advice was very interesting Eska, as was yours Sue, and I may take some time over the next few weeks to do a bit more reading and refine my central argument. I also haven't yet taken the time to write potential chapter outlines yet, so I think I should do that (also needs to be done for my 18 month review).
All I can say is thank god for this forum, I would still be in the depths of despair right now if I didn't have you guys. I say this every time I write a thread but it's true. In fact I'm going to tell a girl who's just started at my uni about this forum tomorrow- it's my number one tip!
I'll let you know what my sup replies; I'm nervous but I'm feeling prepared.

Thanks so much everyone, your ideas really have helped.

I'm currently drafting an e-mail to my supervisor. Whilst trying to explain where things have gone wrong, however, I've had to explain what I was originally trying to do and am struggling to explain why it's been so hard to write! I think the ultimate difference is that with my last chapter I had a core few lines which I was working from and my whole argument was based around that. This time I started with a vague theory and I can't seem to get anything substantial from the text itself.

I am going to ask to see him anyway on Wednesday and we can talk about what I should do now and he can have a go at me if he likes! I want to put this in a drawer for now and move onto other things; we've already discussed some ideas for other chapters so I'd like to try some of those. If I end up coming back to this in the future then that's fine. I've only just gone into my second year and my supervisor once told me he didn't use anything he wrote in his first year so he should understand!

Cakegirl thanks for taking the time to write such a detailed reply. I love what you say about taking solutions not just problems. I guess it's easy to just say 'I can't do it, I give up' but actually taking the time to pin point what worked and what didn't is helping and will show him I'm not just being lazy.

To Eska, I see what you're saying and yeah, thats basically what I plan to do too. The difference is, I think I'm starting to realize, that in the last chapter I started with the text and built my argument around that, and this time I've started with my argument from the last chapter and tries to bend some texts to fit it and it hasn't worked.

Im still very scared about what he's going to say but I feel much calmer and like I have a plan of action now. Thank you everybody so much.

I know I'm being selfish and needy tonight but if any peeps could give me some more words of comfort/advice I'd be most grateful. Feeling awful and nervous.

Hi Cakeman,

Thanks for taking the time to write that, it has helped. The problem is, I can't really explain why the argument won't work because I don't seem to have one! I've done three versions of this chapter now (he's seen them all) and each one seems to have followed a completely different argument. For various reasons, none of those have been very convincing. I have a very, very basic central argument which I could follow but I've pursued that argument in another chapter I've written with much more success already. I'd just be going over old ground and for a chapter which I've spent about 5 months on, old ground isn't really what he wants to see, I'm sure.
I just think I'd do better to go away and look at another text where I can find some solid and interesting bits to hang my argument on and actually advance it (I study Eng Lit). Sorry if this isn't making any sense!
I hope he will accept my reasons and not assume I just don't want to do the work. Part of me is thinking I could still cobble something together for appearances sake but I'm sick of handing in awful drafts.

======= Date Modified 12 06 2009 18:06:57 =======
Hi everyone,

I have a meeting with my supervisor on Wednesday where we are supposed to be discussing a chapter I've been working on forever. I was meant to send him something tonight so he has time to look over it by then. To cut a long story short it's not going to happen: I have nothing to say and despite months working on this I still have no idea where it's going. I really want to tell him this and suggest I just move on and try something else, but I know that's not going to go down well. I know I should probably send something, anything, and explain that I don't think it's ever going to work as a chapter, but two things: 1) it's not going to get done tonight and 2) I really, really can't face writing about this any more. I don't think it's been a waste of time as I've learnt a lot and I could use some of my findings elsewhere, but I'm really not sure what my supervisor would say to me cancelling the meeting. I expect it's a very bad move.
I feel very very low tonight and completely useless.

Hi Dave,

Welcome to the forum! Firstly, you're not 'weird' at all; it's intimidating to have those four years stretching about you and having to start making your own way through it. Thinking back to when I started, my supervisor asked me to roughly sketch three or four ideas I'd be interested in following up- I took about two weeks to do this. This can be very, very broad at this point. I then went back to him, we had a chat about which ones might work and I started pursuing some ideas which EVENTUALLY became a chapter.
It's up to you how you want to approach things but I think that writing right from the start is generally a good idea. Even if what you do write is very basic it means you're starting to build up a backlog of material which you can then build upon. Keep showing these basic drafts to your supervisor and he will recommend books and articles and suggest different directions your work can take.
It took me at least 6 months to work out what my fundamental argument was likely to be, and it took me about another 6 months to refine that and actually work out how I could make a thesis out of it. In these first few weeks and months your ideas will fluctuate and change and you should be open to following different routes. Eventually some patterns will begin to emerge.
Finally, I would give you the same advice I give everyone: get Joan Bolker's 'How to Write your Dissertation in 15 Minutes a Day.' It's a bible for many of us round these parts.

Hope I've helped and best of luck.

Lara your post brought a lump to my throat...needless to say, well done and I hope the rest of your career brings much happiness

Hello again,
Sorry for late update but I am pleased to report that my first class went very well :-) I was nervous for the first few minutes but I just set them off doing an exercise and it gave me a chance to relax into it. After that I felt fine and things generally went very smoothly. Anyone reading this thread who's nervous about teaching should take note. I am generally the least-confident person you could imagine, I'm 22 and I look about 15 but I made it through and nobody said I shouldn't be there!
Today I'm not feeling so good...I've had flu symptoms for the past couple of days; I feel drowsy and achey and have sore throat etc. I really didn't want to cancel my second ever class so I'm forcing myself to go in but I've really struggled to prepare stuff and am totally not ready- I only finished reading the play I'm teaching last night! :-( So today could be awful but I'm just going to explain I'm ill and try and get them to talk loads...

Thanks everybody for your kind replies.

I've got my first class in half an hour and remarkably am feeling OK. A little shaky, but nowhere near as bad as I thought I would be. I'll let you know what happens!