Heath3r,

Whatever you do, DON'T think about the big picture! I spent most of my first year doing this and panicking and hiding away from working. I only started to really plough through when I started taking each day at a time, each book at a time, each page at a time. Write up a list of tasks to do every day (realistic ones) and tick those off as you go. Don't panic if you don't understand something straight away - 99% of the time you won't. Just concentrate on today. Over time, patterns will start to emerge and things will become clearer.
You're not alone- trust me when I say that EVERYBODY goes through this. It's the ones who somehow find a way to stick it out that get through, not necessarily the brightest and cleverest ones.
You say your supervisor left - have you got a new one? Do you have regular meetings with him/her?

All best, you CAN do this!

Hi all,

I've not been accountable for a while now but have been slacking off recently, so I need to get back into the swing of things. So, this week:

1. Read 3 chapters of book.
2. Re-read feedback from rejected journal article :-( and compile a list of revisions needed.
3. Plan how to re-write and extend article.
4. Re-write article in rough.

How have things been Eska? Everyone else?

Hi Badger,

I agree with Joyce- I think saying that you are dealing with some difficult circumstances in your personal life and that thinking sensibly you will need X amount of time to complete the work, will be enough. This is what I've done in the past and it was fine.

All the best.

I've found it impossible to do any work all week. I WARNED my supervisor this is what would happen if I took time off :-s I've been sitting round most days eating cornflakes and watching Youtube videos, like an undergrad.

A mini blooper today. I was sat listening to a paper at a conference and started absent mindindly doodling, as I often do. It wasn't until I noticed the man beside me looking at my pad that I realised what I was drawing looked exactly, like, well... a penis :-(

And before anybody points it out I don't need to know the subconscious reasoning, thank you very much :$

Thanks folks,

Honestly I've been ok about it for ages, until today. In fact I was just remarking to a friend recently how it was amazing that the very fact of time passing can make you forget about somebody when you thought you never would. So I mean, I'm ok. No tears! Just thinking that it's such a horrible, vulnerable position to be in and I'm not sure I want that again.
I think you're right about not contacting each other too, although we don't do it much. Sneaks, I'd never thought about it that way but we do just gloat at each other really. Not healthy. I remember a Sex and the City episode where one of them was in contact with her ex and was saying that she was over it and they weren't playing games. Miranda replied 'There's always a competition with an ex. It's called 'Who will die unhappy' :-) (I don't normally like Sex and the City FYI).
Anywho, My doctor friend is lovely but I shan't be laying my heart on a plate for anyone for a while (famous last words).

I dunno Sneaks. I know he liked/ likes me, but then he seems to attract a lot of women so I don't think he was massively bothered about keeping something going, if that makes sense. I am actually seeing a doctor at the moment so at least I can try and one-up him on that, haha, although I think probably leaving the whole thing and not bothering trying to stay 'friends' would be best for my sanity.

I would love a dog or cat, but will be some time before I can get one, thanks to living in rented flats. Me and my sister always joke that I'll end up an old spinster with 10 cats. We have even named them all...

I, Keep_Calm, do hereby solemenly promise to never fall in love again.

I mean it. Brief history: I split up with my boyfriend of two years about a year ago. We have stayed in touch and things are ok. I then met, and fell head over heels for, a man studying at another university overseas. He said it couldn't work because of the distance. Honestly, I probably would have trekked to Mars to see him, but I reluctantly agreed.
Slowly I started to 'forget' about him and have dated a few other people in that time. Then me and the aformentioned man start chatting over e-mail, just catching up. He mentions he has a girlfriend now. And all this time later, when I thought I was ok, it still felt like the cliched knife through the heart.Of course I then start wondering about her. Of course she will be prettier than me, and cleverer.
Seriously, who needs it? Yes I would have missed out on some fun times if I hadn't met him, but I'd also miss out on all the crippling self-doubt and sadness I have felt. And I get enough of that from my PhD. I think the world will be a much nicer place to inhabit as a detached, neutral observer. Watching all the funny humans doing their silly things, but not trying to be a part of it.

Who's with me?

For today: Read two chapters of book.

Good luck everyone

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Hi Dancing,

I presented at two in my first year, and attended a couple of others. The ones I presented at were suggested by my sup, the others were at my university so felt I should show my face. My first one was about 8 months in, and the second a couple of months after that. Conference attendance varies wildly though amongst PhDers. I'm glad I did some in my first year as I get very nervous about presenting but I know lots of people who haven't until their second or third and it hasn't seemed to harm them. Also, the ones I presented at were postgraduate conferences. I didn't do a 'big boys' one until my second year.
There's no harm in you signing up to conference alerts, or similiar and keeping an eye out for things of interest. Perhaps mention to your sup that you'd like to give it a go at some point and see what they say?

Hi Teek, I haven't posted thus far as I haven't had anything valuable to add but I just want to add my support and say well done on trying to tackle this and I hope things start getting better for you.

xx

Thanks for being great Bug and I'll be more careful on the accountability thread (although I must say I was only bigging stuff up to make myself feel better!)

:-)

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