Anthro, you are so good with your motivation. i admire that!

i'm having a really really really slow day. i just really hate this chapter. its such a mess and i keep avoiding it. i'm going at snail pace.

forcing myself to get a zero draft down, but then keep worrying about all the other chapters i have to do aswell. i dont think i will meet the deadline of having a FULL first draft by next friday

i hate this chapter! it sucked up all my phd years and i still had nothing to show for it at the end of it. bunch of wild goose chases and failed experiments and negative data. so pointless. sorry i'm having a whinge

i'm just gonna write whatever i can. and just leave it, cant be arsed with this crappy chapter, to make it all interesting and perfect, when its so not.

ignore me! im just being obnoxious

spent the whole day until like midnight, going through all my emails related to chapter 6. like 5 years worth.

now i have some bits and pieces for chapter 6 and i have to start writing the zero draft.

Hey guys, sounds like you both have worked really hard! well done.

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i spent like 9-10 hours going through all my emails related to chapter 6, like 4 years worth! now, i gotta trawl through all of it plus lab books and start piecing together a zero draft.

aim:

1. zero draft of part B chapter 6
2. zero draft of part C chapter 6

good luck everyone

hang in there buddy!
i also drifted into my phd, because i didnt know what to do after my msc. and had no idea what phd really did involve. and just went for it, because it was in biology. how naive i was! i didnt even understand what the phd was about! after one year, i proved that it was not going to be successful and had to start on a new project, in year 2.

PureHellDayafterday, I know how you must be feeling. i also felt like that , my phd is in biology, and i would do expt day in and day out. and after 5 years still had no substantial data for my phd. it got so bad, that i just wanted to fail my mphil upgrade on purpose so i wouldnt have to continue to do my phd. i was almost wishing my examiner would fail me during my mphil viva, but she didnt. so i had to carry on doing my phd.

i wish you the best, and i hope you do manage to get through it and get your Mphil and then move onto something that really does interest you. i know what its like to do experiments in something that either you know is not going anywhere or doesnt interest you

I know you mentioned that theres not much in the literture that is related to your phd. but sometimes you can find inspiration from reading other works that is only loosely connected.

good luck, and let us know how you get along.

what is your phd subject in?

4. write a rough draft of a report, this will prepare you, for when you arrange a meeting with your sup.

5. ask your supervisor for a meeting, and voice your concerns. you will have prepared for this meeting, so it will look like you're not just saying "im lost" but you have actively tried to make a clear idea of what your phd is and where it is going.

6. most importantly. ask yourself what it is that DOES interest you in your phd.

may i suggest some tactics?

okay maybe try the following things.

1. do some freewriting. for 15minutes. (time this). and write everything you can think of related to your phd. what you think, what you feel about it, your ideas, what you would like, what worries you, what you need input about. anything.

2. read over what you have written, and then start to highlight certain things that really spring up.

3. start to do some background reading, in the literature, to stuff that is related to your phd idea. to get some inspiration.

For me, I know when I dont understand something, or am fearful of something or lost, I dont feel motivated to do anything about it.

sounds like your suffering from a mental block, because of fear of not knowing whether what your doing is good enough for a phd, and you want reassurance from your supervisor which you're not getting.

sounds like you do have an idea of what you would like to do, but you're not getting a good feedback from your supervisor.

i always felt that what am i doing? is it worth it, and what if i get no data and find nothing of value. and what if after all this effort and years, i still fail.

i still feel all those things. but now faced with either complete failure or trying to write a thesis on what i have done, i'm opting with the "i will try my best" and see what happens.

but you are most definately not alone, i felt exactly how you felt all through my phd.

Hello Yikes,
I also felt like you during my entire time during my phd!!
not only during year 1 but all through my years of my phd, i felt lost, and felt like one day it would get found out, that i knew nothing about my phd, and i was just faking it and would be arrested for impersonating a phd student!

i avoided going to any conference, because i felt i didnt know anything and didnt deserve to go and was completely intimidated, i hated doing presentation. and felt intimidated to ask questions to my sups becuase sometimes i would get berated for not understanding something or knowing something, so i quickly learned not to ask qs or being very fearful of asking qs, and trying to figure things out on my own. which obviously took longer.

but then i guess thats what doing a phd is about, figuring things out on your own. and then when i would get an idea , it would usually be rebuffed, and then eventually they would come around to it!

hmm maybe try asking your sup what they thought about your chapter, and if it needs improving ? or whether its good as it is? ask to maybe have a meeting about it?

I'm feeling very lucky right now.. My dad just told me that one of his friends wife, HAS to submit by August 1st or she will fail her phd! so she only has one month to finish writing her thesis!!

and plus she has a full time job, and has children to look after, and works until really early in the morning, until she cant write anymore.

i really admire how calm she was, and she's just going to try her best and do the best she can and write as much as she can and submit it by august 1st.

compared to her, i am so lucky, i have 3 months to submit my thesis, and i can work full time on my thesis in my study room, with no commitments or responsibilities.

talking to her was such an inspiration! i really admire her. working full time and writing her thesis and looking after her children. and having the deadline within a month. wow! and still being all calm about it, that to me is true greatness.

well maybe its a sign saying what you produced is good!

okay i got over "the fear".

just spent the past two hours, trawling through all my emails related to chapter 6. and came across alot of reports and stuff, i can use for my thesis.

the egg timer went off, but i kept going.

going to take a little break now, and then go through the rest of the emails and then start looking through my lab books. and old notes and stuff.