My supervisor also had her 'favourite' students. I think that these were students who did a PhD which was more relevant to her own work and interests. She often made no attempt to hide her preferences towards certain students. This happens in all departments but at the end of the day there is nothing you can do. As DrJeckull says, if your supervisor does his/her job properly, that's all it takes.

They are undergraduates and I give lectures. Some students are in their late teens, or early twenties. Others are mature students. Well, I have been living in England since 2002. My accent has improved tremendously through the years, but it looks like some people still love complaining about it. I try to use as many pictures as possible on my powerpoint, but I teach a very intense course. I cannot use videos or audio because the classroom equipment does not support these media.

You DID NOT fail your viva, nor you should consider yourself a failure. You are given a second chance to improve your work. You were asked to resubmit your thesis like I did. It is not as uncommon as you think. Sit down, do the job and resubmit. I am told I won't need a second viva and I am waiting to hear my result after my resubmission.

My teaching is average. What can I do?

I had mixed reviews about my teaching. Some students said that they could not understand my accent. Well, I cannot do much about this. English is not my first language either, so I only do what I can.

Others said that I need to make my powerpoints more interesting. I have decided to add many more pictures on them.

Any similar experiences?

I really have no advise to give you. When I first submitted, I had the green light from my supervisor - only to land an R&R after the viva... Sometimes not even supervisors know what they are doing.

I did my PhD while doing a postgraduate certificate via distance learning at the same time. The university and my supervisor were fine with it. Word of advice: it's hard work and it delayed me from submitting my PhD first time round.

How about seeing your work as a group of hills instead of seeing it as a mountain? You are panicking. That is your problem. You are not lazy, you have not lost your enthusiasm, your problem is the panic! Sit down and work a little bit every day. See your work in chapters. Chapters that have the potential to be linked together. Think of your PhD as 8 masters degree dissertations. You have written a masters dissertation before, you know it's doable. Now sit down and do this 8 times.... 80.000 words. I know it's easier said than done but you have to find a way to overcome your fear!

Oh, that's a difficult one - because I cannot put myself in your shoes (I am happily childfree). Many woman have to choose between having a PhD or having children instead. It depends entirely on you.

From your post, it is clear what you are after. Have kids, abandon the PhD. If that's what you want, then go for it. We are not all born to work in academia. Do as you feel, but before you do anything, take 3 months out of the PhD. You need some time for yourself. You need to think and be 100% sure about what you really want to do in life. Hugs.

To make the room extra special, make sure it has a positive and colourful décor. SpongeBob SquarePants bedding did the trick in my case, as I study from home (effectively, my desk is in my bedroom). I had also printed a large poster for my wall: it said 'I can and I will'.

(and chocolate too).

If you buy a desk for the room, the desk must be massive. PhD students use / read loads of books at the same time. He will need as much space as possible.

Stop being upset please! It does happen. Never look back. Do the changes, hand in, don't look for reasons why. It's your chance to improve your work. My thesis took shape, meaning and the maximum of its originality after I received an R&R.

good lighting, comfortable desk and chair, and loads of beer

Iman, have learnt that politeness can take you miles away. If I were you I would contact her, asking her what she thinks about your work. Depending on her answer you act accordingly. If she is truly positive, ask her if she would like to co-author with you. Even if she is not willing to co-author (she may say that she is too busy or something) at least you show her that you respect her as a colleague and you value her opinions. Just remember the proverb: if you don't ask, you don't get! Good luck my friend!

Unless you get no corrections, I find it very unlikely that you will graduate in December.

It depends on your list of priorities. Is having kids your number 1 priority, or a PhD and an academic career? It is very difficult to combine these aspects, I am afraid.