London Euston, and then catch the underground to Tottenham - a 20 minute trip. If you are coming for the day and wish to travel around, buy a travelcard for underground, bus, etc. It's cheaper. Otherwise use an oyster card, or simply buy your tickets at the station to use on the train (underground).

Yes, it took ages, I know. Your case is extreme. Can you not talk to someone about this?

I had received a couple of similar letters when applying for PhDs in 2006. Had you contacted a potential supervisor to discuss the topic before applying? Basically, they say no. Don't lose hope. Apply to other universities, and reapply to the same university later on, after talking to a potential supervisor.

Hotdesking doesn't work for everyone. While I lived in the city where I did my PhD, there was a hotdesking policy in my department, for PhD students. This is particularly common in the humanities, I think.

I found it a bit frustrating, not having my own space to work. Changing desks all the time disorganised me. In the end, I had no option but work from home. I can concentrate better when I know I have my own space, as I mentally assign this space with work.

Can you please give us the link of the facebook group as well? For some reason, the links that you have provided do not work for me. Thank you.

Literarytheorist, welcome to my world! Having had my viva in late 2011 and after having received R&R, I resubmitted in May this year (because of a severe health issue), but I could not stop feeling jealousy having seen most of my peers graduating and getting lectureships or even, getting amazing jobs in the field, before even submitting their PhDs. Yet, I trained myself to stop caring. I put my health and my abilities first.

It is possible to stop caring and comparing yourself to others. Delete your facebook account, do your best, and stay positive. What difference does it make to you, if X peer has a PhD and a career? Good for them, but so what? How does this affect you? It doesn't. You see my point? Everyone is different, and I do believe that good things come to those who wait.

You need to train yourself to promote every single positive aspect of your academic life (that's what my counsellor said to me). Do not see the glass as have empty but as half full. Evidently, in academia one has to be selfish to succeed (again, this advice comes from my counsellor). Embrace yourself for who you are, and learn to promote the best of you when with your peers. Academia is like advertising: you need to be convincing.

Good luck to those who are still waiting, and congrats Sunflower! It looks like you are getting there, very very soon!

I have to wait for five months. I will know the results in the end of October. This is because the external is abroad on research... and as a matter of fact, I will be abroad on research too soon, for a couple of months. Therefore, I am not complaining. But they said to me that usually s takes 2.5 - 3 months.

Thanks, I have sent them my CV. I suppose I have nothing to lose.

I loved reading the article. It's a bit different to what I usually read and I fully understand and respect your agonising feelings to settle down and have a family. I would like to add here the opposite point-of-view, as I think that it should be presented as well. I am sure the internet has plenty of articles, if you search for the term 'childfree'.

Some people have no intention or desire to procreate. They have no maternal or paternal instinct. They may even feel uncomfortable being around kids. They don't wish to have children, for various reasons.

Childfree is a kind of stigma. In a child-centric society, the childfree (and particularly childfree women) are called names, from selfish and immature, to (even) child-haters. They are 'brainwashed' everyday, in order to be converted to 'the norm': 'it's different when they are yours!', and 'who will look after you when you are old?'. I know of a childfree lady who had tubal ligation - her own mother does not talk to her any more because of what she did!

Society always attacks and interrogates people: 'why did you not have kids?
Yet, nobody asks a person for their reasons *why* they had them.

Childfree people experience emotional pain, because nobody understands and respects their right and reasons to remain childfree. They are 'ostracised' as different.

Ultimately, as I said earlier, whether to have children or not is a personal decision. There is huge polarisation between parents and non-parents, but this should not be the case. It's like comparing apples and oranges. Both views should, and must be accepted equally.

Not sure if this piece of advice is right, but a lady who is a VIP academic once told me that the best way for a woman to combine motherhood and a successful academic career is to
a) either have children early in life (e.g. before starting or completing a PhD) or b) have children later in life (late 30s, early 40s).

The first scenario allows women to raise their children before starting their academic career; then it is easier to focus on academia while children are at school.

The second scenario is also a possibility, as it is easier to get back to academia after a short academic break, than starting from zero.

I noticed that the childfree groups on FB are full of academics. It must be an academia-related epidemic.

Thank you for sharing these experiences with me.

There is a book called 'mama phd'. I read it a couple of years ago, and it is a very good read. I hope you all find what you are after.