By the way UK law is with us on this one. When we apply for jobs we do not mention date of birth nor family status.

I see your point, but to me, nobody has the right to judge someone or someone's progress or future career options on the basis of age, sex or race. And I agree, a coffee place is not the right place to discuss such sensitive matters. Now, there are plenty of academics who start their academic career later in life and they do perfectly well. I know of an academic who completed her PhD in her early 30s, got married, had a couple of children and then started teaching at university at age 42. And my supervisor (a man) started teaching in academia when he was in his early 40s.

You see, I am in a very difficult situation. First because I have no proof that these academics said so (even though they clearly mentioned her name) and second because I could even be accused of making things up. This is a good reason not to mention anything to her, but the whole incident makes me deeply disappointed. An advisor who is supposed to be standing by the student bitching about the student behind her back. I know, I know... gossip material is everywhere in academia, but I have been left with a bitter taste in my mouth, about how disgusting academia can be. Moral of the story? Trust no one!

I have received plenty of bullying and even humiliation through the years. Once it was during a conference, in front of 300 delegates... But who cares? I have learnt to live with it. I do what I do, I develop my own opinions about certain academic topics. If they like them, that's fine. If not, I couldn't care less.

While I was in a coffee shop on campus I accidentally over-heard two academics from my department (think 'humanities') talking about a certain co-student of mine who is doing a PhD and she is about 38 years old, single, no kids. The one said 'it's not like she is going to follow an academic career at her age' and the other one agreed. That shocked me! OK, she may be 39 or 40 when she completes her program but surely she can still follow an academic career. I hate age discrimination! Then I thought of myself. I am 32, I may be 33-34 when I complete my program, would academia see me in a similar manner (too old for an academic career?). Of course I am also thinking of my colleague, who is also a friend of mine. Should I tell her what was said about her behind her back? One of the academics who said so is her advisor.

Congrats and good luck!!!! I cannot help with advice but I did not want to read and run.

it's a bit of both, bot by receiving an r&r I was told on the viva that my work deserves more than an Mphil. I suppose that when examiners give R&Rs they know that the thesis has a good chance to get to PhD level, otherwise I would award the PhD instead or advice the student on the viva to do so, instead of making them work for another 18 months for the same result.

It does sound a bit childish for someone to mention that they have a PhD in a conference. IT makes others wonder: 'so what?'. In my field there are a few brilliants scientists who have no PhDs and teach at brilliant universities. I don't get the point.

I used to live next to campus. I now live 1.5 hour away from campus and I go to campus twice a month, to get books from the library. I cannot afford going there every day, but again my PhD is in the humanities. I have found, however, that I am missing out in certain things. For instance, it was only once I was hired as a PGTA (and that was when I lived next to campus) - could it be that I am way from campus? I don't know. I am moving 3.5 hours away from campus soon, for my husband's new job, and I am feeling terrified - but I will sort something out with the local university, so that I can use their library.

Hi there

Many of us on this forum have received the same verdict after the viva. It is simply a matter of perseverance. Take some time off, reset your goals and remind yourself of how you are longing to get a PhD and for what reasons. Then make a plan of work and try not to look back. The past is the past, you cannot change it. Now look for the future. You have done already so much work on your PhD that there is no way you should waste it in my opinion. Think positive. Another year of work or two! And job is done!

No news to me, but you can get better... I promise. It worked for me. Just google 'my tomatoes simple pomodoro tracking' and go to the first result.

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Thanks for the advice and support, to all of you who have replied here and via private messages. I also have white hair and I am only 32. Apart from medical advice, I think I will have to cut my hair really short, in order to make the roots stronger. I have stopped using chemicals. Last time I used hair colour was over 6 months ago.

Anyone experiencing the problem because of the stress of the PhD? It would be nice to know that I am not alone. I estimate that over one quarter off my hair has fallen off. Going to the doctor soon to have a word with him.

Blackbyrd, it takes time. I could not even sleep for over a month after I had my viva. I only felt a bit better and ready to work back to work 2,5 months after the dramatic viva experience.

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Blackyard, I think that I was equally confused to you after I had my viva. I still remember that I met the head of the department in the lift straight after I left the room, and when she asked me how it went and I told her I got an R&R she congratulated me!? At that point I did not know whether I should laugh or cry. To make things worse, even though I told everyone about the r&r, people were leaving congratulation messages on my facebook wall, and some were even saying, 'congratulation doctor Marasp'... Doctor?????? I felt like the loser in a television game show, who is given a consolation prize. These are some of the memories I am trying to erase...