Counselling helped me a lot. It motivated me, it helped me sleep better and help me decide what I really want to do in life. But it all depends on who is doing the counselling. You need to be comfortable with your counsellor, otherwise it won't work.

As others said, it's entirely up to you. Everyone is different. For instance, I am 35. I have the maternal instinct of a chair and no biological clock kicking. I never imagined myself being a mother and I don't pretend. I am childfree but I do respect others' desire to have children.

I have talked about motherhood with other female academics, and basically, they mention that there is no right timing for women to have babies in academia. A friend of mine had two children while doing her PhD, and when she graduated, she landed a job in academia straight away!

Yet, I know at least 3 female PhD students who never completed their course because they could not combine motherhood with PhD responsibilities.

I also met a lovely academic in a conference. She said to me that it took her 14 years to complete her PhD because she had a disabled baby - and it was difficult raising her son and do a PhD at the same time.

Awsoci is right: discuss it with a doctor if you like. Also, yes, volunteering will hopefully open many doors for you.

With regard to conferences, participation varies depending on the field you are studying. In some fields in the humanities (e.g. in law), attending conferences and publishing as much as possible is a must.

I am glad you are taking it easy now, Nesrine. Remember not to worry to much about little things in life, if you can. Focus on the one you love, and of course, your PhD. If you need any advise with regards to book reviews, notes, and conference reports, I am happy to assist.

Viva time limits depend on the institution. My viva was just under 2 hours, but my mate had a viva that lasted 4 hours! I have heard of people having second vivas (after R&R) that lasted under 40 minutes.

Let's take one thing at a time.

You are worried about the future: this is normal. But instead of worrying, why not take one thing at a time? Make a little bit of progress every day. Schedule your work if you can. This way you can monitor what you are doing.

Second, you mention that you are worried because you have no publications. Well, many PhD students don't. Start with minor things: publishing a note, a book review, a conference report.

The same applies to conferences. Conferences are terrifying. The best thing to do is start with student conferences, then make your way up. Also, in my opinion, it is easier publishing in student conference proceedings. You need to get used to getting feedback (positive or negative). Otherwise, how will you improve your work?

Congratulations on getting married. Just remember: the package 'I find a job, get married, have kids' is utter social b****. Society won't tell you how to lead your life! Society will not raise your children! You are responsible for your own life and decisions.

If people are judgemental then they should mind their own business.
You have babies when you are ready, if you are ready! You are not a yoghurt to have an expiry date! You are a woman, a very educated woman!

Start believing in yourself and please do not compare yourself to other PhD students: it's like comparing oranges to apples. You are different people, with different skills - comparison is pointless.

Best wishes

Mara Sp.

I don't think you should worry too much. Oxford is more interested in fake references that references that are genuine but from people who truly know you - even though they are not VIPS.

Dear Windgury,

From what I understand, you are conducting experiments. Every experiment allows the possibility of human error. This is part of the experiment. Rather than getting disappointed, hold on to what you have got, and publish what is worth publishing. Remember, you are a doctoral students! Nobody expects you to be perfect!

Thanks. I will drop my supervisor an email anyway. All my corrections are straight forward and very minor. Typos, add a couple of lines here, explain something, print your tables instead of having them on the cd (the last explains why they want to have a printed version of the thesis). I don't think that my supervisor will be interested in them, but I will do as requested.

Please, if you have been given R&R don't give up! It is possible to submit successfully. It will just take you a bit of extra time. It takes practice to learn to approach resubmission with a positive spirit. But when you get back into your thesis, you will gradually regain enthusiasm about your work (been there, done that, got the t-shirt).

I received the examiners' report earlier today. The examiners seem pleased with my resubmitted thesis and recommend me to publish it in the near future.

1) I have been asked to change a few, very minor things and submit the corrected, printed thesis to the external in 5 weeks time (they said 3 weeks to start with but they gave me two more weeks to allow for Xmas). Boo! It's scary but what a relief!

How long does it normally take to hear back after submitting minor corrections?

2) Also, surprisingly, on the first page, the examiners' report mentions that I should contact my supervisor at the earliest opportunity in order to discuss the corrections. I thought that the role of my supervisor was over, and that all I have to do from now on is to deal with the internal (who, I must confess, has been very helpful and emailed me that if I have any questions about the corrections, I should get back to him).
After all, the corrected thesis should be submitted for examination to the internal according to the report. Confused.

Thanks in advance.

Mara Sp.

Yes, because my philosophy is 'if you don't ask, you don't get'.

If you are at the UK, I would starts applying to UK redbrick universities first, and If I were not lucky, I would examine second options. In my opinion, if you apply to redbrick universities you stand a better chance to find a supervisor who is suitable for your PhD topic. Funding does play a role, but isn't everything.

Thank you all! I don't know what I would do without this forum. So, for me, the next step is to submit my corrections just after the holidays. I won't be attending my degree congregation. I will graduate in absentia in July 2015.