Well, this is gloomy but thank you for the wake up call. I'm trying to build up experience in schools as I know there's a shortage of school teachers in Classics (more retire than train) but I come and go over whether that's actually what I'd want to do. For those interested in that side of things though the researchers in residence scheme is a good way of getting experience. The first thing I was told when starting my PhD was not to do it in order to get a job as you won't, but at the same time several people have reminded me that there's a world shortage, rather bizarrely, of Latinists at the moment and that was sort of keeping me a bit positive. Hearing a bit more reality makes me realize I need to be doing much much more about what happens to me following the PhD! :$

Great news - what a positive outcome! :-)

I always end up eating lunch at 12 or 12.30 and I usually won't have eaten breakfast until about 9! This strikes me as really early but I get so hungry. Getting through the afternoon is fine though - I don't eat again until at least 7. Very odd. I think what you have proved here though is that elevenses is a necessary meal which should be given the appropriate status...

I'm in my second year of a humanities PhD and I can remember the feeling of not knowing where to start. My advice would be to find a focus point and work out from it. It depends on your subject but for me, working in Latin poetry, it involved choosing one of the poems and starting to look at it in detail then read around what I was finding in my primary material. Doing very broad lit searches is helpful for building up a picture of what's been done but it can be very overwhelming! Choose one area to look at in detail, even if you end up not using the work, as it will give you a clear point of contact with your material. I would also advise seeing your supervisor every couple of weeks to start with just to discuss what you've been up to and your ideas as that will give you something to aim for and some support for what you're doing. Good luck - it will start to work out soon.

Another thought is cereal bars. I was quite hooked for a while on the Go Ahead yoghurt slices but I warn you against eating them every day - they can get a bit sickening!

Hi Keep Calm, hope you're feeling better about all this today. All I have to add really is that I've spent the last few months working on something that I soon realized wouldn't work but I felt my supervisor wanted. I submitted a draft and she told me it pretty much didn't work, and I felt totally lost! Last week I met up with both supervisors to try and work it out with the result that everything has been totally changed round, my project focus has changed to where I want it and I even have a proper structure for what I'm trying to do. It made me realize that sometimes you have to trust your own feeling that something isn't heading in the right direction and have the courage to explain and justify it. Now I have an approach I can reject which helps to justify the one I'm taking, and although it feels like the summer was wasted I think it may have taken that to get me here. I hope that your supervisor supports what you want to do - remember that you know the project better than anyone. :-)

I've lost a stone and am really trying to lose a bit more so I know the feeling of resisting snacks. What else is there to do in breaks?! I drink lots of water to fill me up and eat soup as that's filling and low calorie. Always thick soup, usually with veg and lentils and things in it, otherwise there's not much nutritional value to it! I try to break my lunch up a bit so I'll eat some fruit a bit later in the afternoon. Also when I do have a hot chocolate I make it with almost all water rather than milk. It isn't chocolate that's a big snacking problem for me though as I prefer savoury stuff in general. Much more of a problem is resisting a glass of wine at the end of the day. I also used to eat crisps and suchlike while relaxing in the early evening (alongside the afore mentioned glass of wine). I still like to have something as it's a long wait from lunch which is usually at about 12.30 and dinner at 8 or so, but now we eat a lot of raw veg with light dips like low fat yoghurt or super-light mayo -based things or salsa. I'm sorry - I know that's close to carrots and hummus (which I like!) but there are lots of other veg you can do it with! The chopping time is a nice break too. :p

I used to listen to these in the car but haven't at all lately. My fiancé never likes reading when he's been at work all day so perhaps I'll encourage him to start downloading them. Then he can listen to his ipod while I get to read novels in bed - somehow I can always divide work reading from pleasure reading. My only problem with audio books is that they're either abridged or take absolutely for ever to finish by comparison to reading them yourself (especially if you've worked on speed reading)!

Well, I don't have an office at the university plus I live an hour's drive away so I only go in to see my supervisor, attend seminars and go to the library. If I work there I can get a desk in the grad school or in the library but that's rare. At home I have a very cluttered desk in the bedroom which isn't ideal but we manage! I like working from home and it's much more productive than travelling in, though I am aware that it would be good for me to be seen more in the department so I'm going to make more of an effort to show my face this year even if I'm not actually doing work there.

In ten years time I'll hopefully have sorted out my current do-I/don't-I want to continue in academia issues to settle down into something that is a proper career of some sort! And since I'm getting married next year (probably, date not yet settled!) I also hope we'll have children by then, although quite what age they'd be probably rather depends on the career issue! And I would like to live in a real house that we own rather than the rented flat we're spilling out of at the moment, preferably with a couple of dogs. I'd also like to have finished writing a novel by then. Not published it necessarily, just finished writing it for myself rather than constantly writing little bits and pieces and never finishing anything! And of course whether I will also be published as an academic largely depends on whether I've ploughed on with things here. (And also whether I continue to procrastinate from work as at this moment... Hmm...)

EV - in many universities your supervisor would be contractually obliged to see you much more than this (every 2 weeks some places whether you like it or not!). You need to push for regular meetings - if it's like this 3 months in think how it will be when you desperately need stuff read through when you write up!

On the medication issue, I would definitely recommend getting a second opinion. I was totally against the idea the first time I was put on medication (not because of a relationship breakdown but following meningitis in my teens) but it gives you a starting point to build on. When I finally dragged myself out of bed when my husband left I saw a doctor and said I wanted to go back on the pills and that's what we did. Many many cases of depression have a 'reason' to them - it might not always be an obvious one like yours and often it needs a psychiatrist to find it, but that's still a reason. Medication won't necessarily make you feel normal again but, in my experience, it will take away the huge pit of despair and replace it with a numbness in which there are no highs or lows but which will be better than the big low you're feeling now. It's not a long term solution and last time I was on meds I came off them because I decided I wanted to feel like me, even if the lows were bad, but I'm glad I went on because it took that step to get me into a position to make that rational sort of decision. I think you might find it would get you into a better place to start working from, or at least I would seek another opinion. Also, well done, great progress today with the dressing and make-up: little things like that make a big difference! :-)

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through but you need to start believing you can get through this. I know you may not want to hear that other people have got through this - I'm sure it doesn't feel like it and your supervisor is wrong to compare your situation to someone else's - but I believe it can be done. I was married at the end of the third year of my undergraduate degree to a man who cheated on me after four months and like you I felt my world had fallen apart. I didn't believe I could possibly go back and continue the rest of my final year but I forced myself to do it. It was very hard, I was a wreck and couldn't really behave like a normal person but going back to work and into my routine was the best thing I could have done. In spite of everything I got a first and Dean's commendation for my third year work. It was like all focussing all that negativity into something constructive really paid off and gave me a reason for living again. Obviously it's not as easy with a PhD but I think you may find that you will get better by starting work, even in a small way, in order to give you a new focus and redirect the energy that's going into your grief. I also recommend you get as much medical help as you can and rely on anybody you can (although I understand the pressure this will have put on some some friendships), including the guy who's crazy about you. He knows exactly where you are now and I'm sure can keep loving you as a friend as he's doing now. And if it's any consolation I found someone else and I'm getting married again. I'd also thought I'd never feel that way about anyone again and the fact is I won't: instead what I realized is that every time you fall in love it's different but it can be just as wonderful if not more so. I really wish you all the best.

Hi, sorry since I already posted a similar question in my 'help - maybe quitting, maybe not quitting...' themed thread but just thought this might get a better response with the appropriate title. It's been suggested to me that my current problems may lie with my supervisor and this makes some sense. My previous institution for my BA and MA have suggested I come back (I left there a year ago). Originally I left there because it seemed healthier to try a new place, plus my current supervisor is a better fit on paper and also I wanted to move in with my boyfriend (now fiancé so a good plan!). When it was first suggested I thought it would be impossible but I could go back and stay there just a couple of nights a week or something so it would be do-able I think. Plus I have some very close friends there and I have more friends/people I know well in the department which would help one of my major issues of loneliness. The problem, however, is that I have AHRC funding and they are very strict about this sort of change. I've been told that they should be fine with it as it might come down to that or my quitting which they obviously don't want, but I wonder if anyone has had experience of this?

I do feel like I want to try to stay on, but I still have to deal with lots of problems to make that possible. One of the suggestions has been that I switch institution to the uni I was at for my BA and MA and where I still know people and have some close friends. There would be someone to supervise me there as I realise that some of my problems stem from my current supervision. I can't move but could go and stay for a couple of days a week during term time perhaps. However, I'm AHRC funded and I know they have strict rules on transferring. I've been told they should support it because they won't want me to quit but does anyone have any experience of this?