Thanks for the replies ladies...

Sneaks - he is not a stable boy haha - my university is a 120 mile round trip away he works near me and lives about a 20 min drive from me, so not that far!

I am actually really pleased that he doesn't come from an academic background, to be honest I would rather date someone that didn't, I think that sort of difference is quite good for a relationship. He is a very practical person, and he has a very business-like attitude, which I like. He asks me loads of questions about my work though and doesn't seem to get too bored...not yet anyway! He's really supportive and sweet when I'm nervous about something university-related though, and he asks me for advice about his work situations as well - I try not to be too high-maintenance! Age gaps don't bother me at all - I've always been out with guys who are a few years older than me, I'm not really attracted to men my own age to be honest.

We had a phone conversation tonight and he really seems to understand how busy I am at the moment, I'm definitely going to see him this week though, so we can have a chat about expectations etc then. I really don't want to lose him at this stage though, so I will make some time for him. My friends have commented that I seem happier lately, I think that is definitely good for my work as well, so hopefully making time for a bit of romance won't be too detrimental; I think it could teach me to not feel too guilty for spending time away from my work as well. Its difficult because I'm so used to being such an independant person, I've been single for a while so its strange to be thinking about someone else again, but in a totally good way. Nxx

Hi - Firstly I am sorry that you are feeling like this, when it sounds like you are capable of doing the work. You have been through a stressful time though with moving to a new area, that is bound to have had an effect on your priorities, hopefully once you feel more settled with a new job you will be able to concentrate on your studies more. Having been through stressful family circumstances this year I can understand the importance of having the emotional 'space' for studying effectively (I am doing a full time taught MSc), it is very important to look after yourself - however I only realised that once things had become quite bad, hopefully you have asked for help sooner than I did.

You have definitely taken a good first step in posting here - this forum has really helped me and we have all had our individual struggles. Is there a student support/guidance tutor that you could make contact with before speaking to your supervisor - they can act as useful mediators. I would check your emails as well, you may find that there's nothing much to worry about; they would have probably phoned you or contacted you in writing if there was a serious issue. Your supervisor is probably more concerned about you than anything else. Good luck though, and I hope I have helped. Take care, Natassia x

Good luck everyone with your goals - I'm still doing that research proposal that I wanted to be finished by last week....this is actually going on forever and not getting any better...Nx

I've started seeing this guy who I really like, and the feeling appears to be mutual. I've known him for a while but we've only been romantically involved for the past two weeks - I'm really not looking for a serious relationship at the moment as I'm so busy with my MSc (hopefully soon to be PhD!) and my part time job that most of my evenings are spent working, I don't see as much of my friends as I would like to so I wasn't really looking for a boyfriend. But then he came along, and he is lovely. Despite coming from a different, non-academic background we have a lot in common, shared values etc, and he is so caring etc, it is very early days but I think this could go somewhere, he is exactly what I'd been looking for.

The trouble is though, he is 6 years older than me (nearly 28) and I think he would want to settle down, and I'm nowhere near that stage in my life yet. I also hardly ever have any time to see him, he doesn't live too far away from me but we have conflicting work schedules and I'm at university 2/3 days a week, which is a 120 mile round trip, with the horse as well that takes my day up and I'm always so tired by the time I get home at the end of the day I can't really be asked to doll myself up again to go out. I've had to cancel on him a few times and he's fine with that at the moment, he has loads of mates so he just goes out with them, but I think he's bound to get pissed off sooner or later. And I want to see him as well, not a lot maybe like twice a week, but I just feel unable to at the moment. I'm hoping to do a PhD at the same university so I guess I'm going to get even more stressed and busy, but surely I can have an ok relationship as well - how do you all make it work with your boyfriends/girlfriends? If they don't come from an academic background, do they understand how much it all means to you, does it cause any arguments?

Thanks, Natassia xx

Thanks Zelda - it is quite awkward for me to ask questions like that directly as I have been at the university for four years now, so I do know my prospective supervisors quite well already, one of them was my personal tutor for my undergraduate degree. I don't know where I would be able to see their records online, I do know of a few PhD students that have completed however I don't generally have much to do with the research students as I'm only at MSc level. It is a very small department, only about 15 PhD students in total, I think that is actually quite nice, it seems to be a friendly department where the supervisors really care about their students.

Hi KC - I've never been in this situation so don't know how useful my advice would be, but at this time when its late and you're stressed I hope I can help a little bit.

I think that your PhD work should come first, although it would be fantastic if you could submit your article to this journal. I think that your supervisor should, and probably would, understand that you have been very busy with your PhD deadlines so you wouldn't have had as much time to do this article as you would have liked. As he is editing the journal he has more say over what goes into it - I would assume that you would have a good chance being his student. I think I would ask for another extension over the weekend and ask if you can submit on Monday. If he doesn't agree to this, submit what you have done, but on a separate document explain the changes that you want to make if appropriate.

Dear all, this is a bit of a pathetic issue that I'm having, but I have been asked to write a summary of a book that is very repetitive and quite complicated, but is nevertheless a fantastic book. It is Judith Butler's "The Psychic Life of Power", my MSc dissertation is largely based on her work and my supervisor has asked me to summarise it in 1000 words - he is definitely testing me.

I have read it twice and also read various commentaries on it, I am quite sure I understand the points that Butler is getting across, but she is a very abstract writer, who seems to be making things clearer to herself rather than to the reader. I am having total writer's block when it comes to summarizing it. I know that I am nervous of being judged on it, but it isn't even going to be formally assessed, we're just going to discuss it at my next supervision. I'm not used to writing summaries of books and don't really know where to start, I know it would be a good idea to go through it chapter by chapter then conclude but I have a feeling my supervisor wants more than that.

Any advice would really be appreciated, Natassia xx

Anyone else working tonight??

Hi Keenbean, I haven't got anything to really add to what everyone else has said, but I think this man is being totally unreasonable - he clearly needs to be able to cope with rejection better otherwise how is he going to succeed in academia?! His behaviour bears absolutely no reflection on you, I just find it hard to believe that he is acting like this, when you used to be good friends. I think you are doing the right thing to try to save him from being humiliated, hopefully when he actually starts his PhD he will grow up a bit and realise that his work and reputation in the department isn't worth jeopardising. Take care, Nxx

Hi Button - my Masters dissertation is theoretical, so I'm not actually collecting any data as such. But like you, I haven't really started it yet, as I have so many other assignments to do as well as my PhD application. I have read one key book for my dissertation and am in the process of writing a 1000 word summary for it, as requested by my supervisor (to test me I think!) but that is it.

I'm sure you will be fine, you only need to get a small sample and once you've started properly you'll be able to get going much more quickly. I would just keep it in mind, chase up the participants etc. You seem to be very organised and on top of things though, good luck! Nxx

Thank you Ev - its really useful to have a little account of your application, and its reassuring to realise that informality is not necessarily a negative thing! The meeting has been postponed until next Friday now, she is keeping me informed via email and she seems really nice; apparantly she has begun to contact possible supervisors - scary! Will keep you all updated, whether its good or bad news, Nx

Well done - thats really good news and you must be really pleased! I was wondering how you were getting on actually, take care Nxx

Hi Joyce - discourse analysis is a method of critical psychology/social constructionism and so I think it would be ideal to look at government documents, in order to potentially expose the underlying relations of power that are behind what is being said. I think Foucaultian and Critical discourse analysis would be more useful for you than Discursive Psychology, however it would be useful to read the documents with all three in mind and see what you can make of them.

I've never used it to look at government/policy documents as I'm in psychology/sociology, but an excellent book chapter that goes over the methods is in Willig, C. 2008. Introducing Qualitative Research in Psychology: Adventures in theory and method. I'll have a look at the references I have used for discourse analyses that I have done and post any I think could be relevant, that is off the top of my head though. Also might be useful to have a look at Ian Parker's work, again he's in critical psychology but he has done a lot of work on discourse analysis. Hope that helps a little, Nx

So it was a lovely surprise then Jinkim - I bet your supervisor's happy!

Date went very well as far as I can tell....very early days but he's lovely. I think it will be difficult as I'm too busy to see him very often, I don't want to piss him off but at the moment the MSc comes first - he'll just have to understand! Nx

Hi Eska, I was wondering how it had gone for you; I'm so pleased that it went well and that there was no unnecessary family hassle, Nxx