How far in is too far in to get out? Up until the moment you submit? Before the viva? Is there some kind of point of no return with the PhD after which there is the need to carry on regardless, just because you have reached that marker in the project...or?

I don't think of those as luxuries, I think of them as necessary--human relationships of value. The divorce rate is perhaps a symptom of why these are so hard to find, that people are racing around trying to locate happiness outside of themselves in large cars, large houses, more TVS, or what have you.

Why am I doing this? No answer for you. The answers I had are not holding up for me anymore, and there is a real question of why that I am trying to answer.

I have all the "intellectual" I can want in my life, and have a great supervisor and good research environment, etc. And I think I find it very unfulfilling when the things I value and miss are an ocean away. I question whether the "cost" ( not a monetary one) of doing this is worth any "benefit."

People buy and buy and spend and spend and run and run because they either do not want to face the void or cannot fill it, or are prey to the messages that high levels of material consumption equal being happy and having a desirable life. Starving under a bridge is no way to happiness, either, but I think the essential things in life are not things that are bought. Warm and supportive relationships with family and friends, companionship, enjoying the moment, those are what make life have meaning...the rest I think is hollow. How many contented academics do you see versus those endless striving and stressed. This is NOT the path to Nirvana from what I see.

But the old adage is that money does not buy happiness. And from my own personal experience, that is true. And again, I can only speak for myself in this, realising that people have their own individual motivators and needs and goals. I think that people "run" as you put it trying to fill something very empty inside, trying to buy to fill a void. But it will never be filled that way, because the void is something not material--its a human need we all have for connection, relationships, friendships, etc--the meaningful "stuff" of life.

We all have different motivators, and external recognition is not a high one for me. That said, external recognition means doing the same thing again and again, to keep on top of that pinnacle. More is not enough. Its sort of a Sisyphean task ( see all the study was good for something, I learnt about Sisyphus =P ) from what I can see.

Recognition does not keep you warm at night. It does not laugh at your bad jokes or act happy to see you on a sweet summer afternoon. It does not fill your stomach. It is fleeting, passing, something that must be endlessly sought...and for what?

The world you describe Badhaircut is the world I can somewhat sense in front of me as this goes on...and of course it is a highly individual choice, but...shudder...its that vision that makes me stare into space and search for an alternate future. Each of us has to make our own choice, and I do not mean to disrespect yours, but the world you describe sounds very dismal to me.

Without meaning anything in a mean way, that just does not sound like an attractive life...at least for me. Why do it? Why put yourself through the mill of that level of stress? What is it for? I cannot but help get the picture of a line of gerbils in cages on exercise wheels, all racing each other as it were, but in reality they are just running on a wheel that remains in place...

But why deal in such a highly stressed enviroment? To what end? What are the rewards?

I would settle for someone delivering a nice thick crust pepperoni pizza and a liter of Diet Coke to my office in the next five minutes.

What ARE the benefits of being an academic or an academic life? This is not a sarky or rhetorical question, am asking. Obviously it is an attractive profession to many. So...what are the perks of academia? Lots of holidays? Academic freedom to research and write? The rewards of being part of encouraging students to learn? A refuge from the business world ( though this seems to be vanishing with the notion of econometrics in education)? Others? What is the reward at the end of this--?!

I am having "chapter-structure-itis avoidance" where I am staring into two chapters wondering how to make them into some connected coherent whole...the shredder??! I agree Spacey, its hard to derail yourself from a certain path when you have a history of high achievement and always tackle the giant mountain in front of you...I stayed at home with the covers pulled over my head until it got too hot...its hard to push myself to the utter limit when part of me wonders if I should walk away...

Yet the phrases that tumble out of our mouths on automatic as we greet people while we search for keys, try not to pour coffee on ourselves or others, open doors, turn on lights etc...are just that, automatic! so I try to limit my how are yous but still they come out of my mouth sometimes! But I realise being asked whether I am alright in McDonalds means that they want to take my order, not hear about any state of emotional being!

In America, if you were asked if you were alright, it would be because someone thought something was wrong with you and was asking to try to offer some real assistance. Thats NOT what it means in Britain, but by the same token, I think people are jarred when I say " how are you?" because they STOP AND TELL ME in a very non British way of responding! I mean what they mean by " are you alright", which is just a common and polite greeting which does not REALLY want the literal response being asked.

I tend to keep work and friendships very separate. That said you CAN develop friendships at work ( or study) places, but I think those are the exception rather than the rule. I keep myself to myself in these spaces, ie, very little real personal discussion. I think it just does not belong.

** on asking people " how are you?" as a form of greeting I think is as jarring to British people as " are you alright?" is to me as an American as a form of greeting.

I think that its necessary to have both proximity pals and real friends in a work or study place. You have to find ways to get along with other people in your space. We all have our own ways of doing this. Mine has always been to be friendly, have a smile and hello, how are you ( more on that in a moment) and always be fine or great to those who ask, and thank them for asking ( This being very American, perhaps in Britain you would moan about the weather instead!) and then move on. With those in positions of authority, I think it is useful to keep in mind what their role is versus yours, and structure the relationship accordingly.