I'm doing the final proofreading for an article due for submission tomorrow and I have realised I have missed off the page number for a footnote reference. I don't have the book anymore (obviously) and I can't get hold of it before tomorrow. Should I make up a page number, just leave it blank or do something else - if there is an alternative option?

The main thing is that you have changed the situation and are moving forward without the supervisors from hell. I can relate in part to what you have been through in that my main supervisor was on sabbatical for the first year of my Phd and my replacement was useless. Although at the time I didn't realise because, as you point out, having never done a PhD before how are we to know sometimes how things are done. My panels have also been really negative and I, like you, just went into a depression after each one. The latest was really bad as my main supervisor returned in my second year and has been fantastic but every positive thing she had said about my work was met with negativity by the other panel members. I was really thinking about giving up but I was guided by her and now one of the negative members (who was actually my first year supervisor) is being replaced. I'm already into my third year but I think this will make a big difference. I also felt that most of my first year and some of the second year was a total waste of time, doing things for the panel which I didn't want to, which took up loads of time, and then were criticised. It was only about half way through my second year that I worked out what I want to do and have been doing it with the encouragement of my supervisor.
You have the advantage of going into your second year now hopefully with much better supervision and you can move forward. You may think that everything you have done so far is not of any use but I think you will find that even if you have worked out what you don't need and don't want to do, that is still part of doing a PhD. And I'm sure there will be parts of what you have done which you can expand on, so don't see the 11 months so far as being a waste of time.
You have been unlucky with your supervisors but you are now lucky that you can have a fresh start and think on it positively with the view that these new people are going to be the right ones to help and encourage you to get that PhD. Good luck.

Just thought I'd check up on how you are feeling at the moment.

I'm a little confused about the difference between an RA and a Post-doc. I'm in humanities and the project I work on has two post-docs but they are called research assistants. Is it different in the sciences.

Sorry Pineapple, I misunderstood. You are in the same boat as me then.

I know just what you mean Phdbug. I tend to do things just when they need doing rather than spending a specific amount of time on them. Then I end up with piles of stuff in my 'to do' tray which makes me unable to concentrate on work. You are right that small mundane tasks add up and take up too much time. The thing that annoys me most is when I actually get up early raring to go with work, then open the post or check my e-mails and there is a bill or something similar which is wrong, and not my fault, but then I have to spend hours on the phone chasing it up to sort it out. I'm then in a bad mood for the rest of the day. I think all PhD students should be provided with personal assistants to deal with all the other things that we don't have time to do!

Just thought I would update this. At my last meeting with my supervisor she suggested that we do replace the panel member I am not happy with. She is going to put the wheels in motion to replace her with someone who will be more sympathetic to the direction my PhD is now taking. I had a really positive meeting with my supervisor and she agrees with all the concerns I had about this panel member. So hopefully I can now move forward without the constant criticism and negativity she brought to the proceedings.

I was in a similar situation with my husband but it was me who ended the relationship. However, we had just bought a house together (ahh the wonders of hindsight) and neither of us could afford to move out. Our split was fairly amicable after the initial shock of me telling him it was over, although we had had problems for a while. We both tried to keep out of each others' way but it was difficult and got even worse when we both had new relationships. My new partner turned up at the door to pick me up once not realising my huisband was at home so that was rather awkward. In the end we worked out a sort of rota system. Anyway it was never easy and eventually I moved out to live with my partner but I still own half the house so have to deal with stuff related to that so am still in touch with my husband (I can't afford to get divorced!!).

I think you need to sit down and discuss the new relationship you both have and whether there is any chance of getting back together, If not you also have to see whether either of you can move out. If not then you have to work out a way of dealing with the situation and accepting that this is how it has to be now.

It is like a bereavement and you will need to grieve over the relationship. I thought my future was with my husband, and even though I am with someone new, I still miss the friendship we had. So don't think of the whole relationship as meaningless. Think about the good times you had and be positive about that, while accepting you are now at a different stage in your life.

I think you do need to take time off to think things through, and it sounds like you could be depressed so a trip to your GP, or counselling service at uni would be a good idea. From what you say, I don't think you are going to be able to work well on your PhD until you get some help to get through this, but try to keep going and do easier parts of it just to keep yourself busy. Even if you don't feel like getting out of bed at the moment, try to read while you are there.

I hope things get easier for you. It may not seem like it at the moment but ......insert all the cliches here.

Hi Bluebird, I am thinking along the same lines as you. I'm two years into my Phd and since I started I have had to deal with the death of my Mum, buying a house, then splitting up with my husband, starting a new relationship, moving 150 miles from my uni and becoming a sort of step-mum to three teenagers. I've tried to carry on working through all this but my PhD isn't going great at the moment, my panel are being very negative, although my supervisor is positive. I just want to take a break to get my head sorted. Unfortunately I can't afford to just suspend my studies so I am looking for a temporary job for say three or six months which hopefully will help financially, and give me a different persepctive on things. Like you, I really do want to finish my Phd but if I carry on as I am now I just feel I am likely to want to pack it in completely. There is the problem which was mentioned of not wanting to go back afterwards, but by taking a deferral, you are giving yourself the option, and it's less of a final decision as just quitting.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I was just wondering how much autonomy people have when their PhD is part of a project. I am beginning to feel that I am doing somebody else's PhD and am criticised if I want to take things in my own direction, although still fulfilling the requirements for the project.

I've been thinking about taking some time off and wondered what experiences people have had of doing this. It seems to me that it is an impossibility. I can't suspend my studies as I need the money. I can't take a holiday as I have a deadline for an article for publication, and I am teaching as well, with about 60 essays to mark over Easter. Even if I took time off ill I would still have these things hanging over me, so I don't really know what the answer is.

Again thanks to everyone for your support but in particular RubyW and Eska as you both seem to understand the problems I am having because of the area I am working in and it is encouraging to hear both your opinions as it does make me feel that it is not me who is at fault but that I am trying to do something different in an area which is set in its ways. I am trying to get another panel member and she is reading my chapter at the moment so I can see what she thinks of my methods and ideas.
RubyW - I'd be interested to hear more about your experiences if you want to PM me.

Actually it's not really clear what their objections are. At my last meeting I presented a chapter which I had been working on with my supervisor which she said was good. Part of it is being published as well. My other two panel members were surprised as it wasn't what they were expecting! I'm part of a project but the main area of the project is different to what I'm doing and my only real input is to provide images for the final database they are producing which I can as I have thousands of them. So from the data I have collected I have formulated my own research and am approaching the evidence from a different angle to how it is usually approached and because it has already been done. I'm in Art History, and rather than take a descriptive approach I am taking a more theoretical and contextual approach. This doesn't seem to be what they wanted, expected or have experience of in their own work. I've talked with my supervisor about internal and external examiners and both suggestions who we both thought of independently are not in the field of the two panel members and are much more theoretical so when(if) I get to that stage I hope that my examiners would be more sympathetic to my research. However, it is so demoralising when time after time the panel are so negative.

Thanks for the support everybody, I knew I would get it on here. I've e-mailed my supervisor as I'm seeing her next week and told her how I'm feeling and that apart from her I don't think I am getting enough support from the panel, especially as I am part of a wider project, so should be being encouraged. We had talked about me speaking to someone in a pastoral capacity so I've asked her to arrange that.
It's so difficult to know whether what I'm doing is worth it when my supervisor is so encouraging on one hand and on the other the panel members don't even seem to think that what am doing will be worth submitting but they will let me 'run with it' and then decide. I don't have the time, money, patience or enthusiasm to 'run' with something for two years without more support and the knowledge that it will lead somewhere.