I worry about that as well-the fear of returning to temping life just to pay bills etc after many many years of university life. I also worry about the issue of being too overly qualified for jobs as a result of having a PhD. The stress and worry never seems to end-or is it just me lol !

I know one things for certain, I'm definitely not staying in academia-no way! Experiences at my universities and my experience as a seminar leader, and marking exams and essays has taught me that its a definite no no!

I'm looking into returning back to my real interests; psychology. My PhD is in something that is in a slightly different field although dealing with the same populations that psychologists work with. I'm looking into becoming a chartered psychologist, either clinical or health-so looks like it will be more learning and university stress for me! :(

my supervisors have decided to extend the deadline for my report by 2 weeks. I have not asked for an extension! I'm not complaining as it gives me a bit more time to sort out my chapters...
Maybe I'm looking at this all negatively, but their confidence in me must be on the floor-if they feel that I can't meet next weeks deadline :(
Oh well-back to my chapters (oh joy!)

I can totally relate to this! (See my other post). In response to feeling really deflated after a real verbal beating from my supervisors, I turned the tables on them. I gave them feedback on how I was feeling; that they had made me rather distressed, unworthy, and just basically made to feel like crap. In response, I've received a series of very apologtic emails from them all just saying that they thought it was necessary given that I'm running out of time. After such extensive criticism, within their apologies they've outlined the strengths of my report, work and my hardworking nature-in an attempt to balance it all. One of my supervisors is blantaly trying to make a special supportive effort to see that I'm ok-which is nice.
Bottom line, their role is to provide support, not to damage your self esteem and consistently make you feel like crap!

The upgrade presentation I had was in December 07, and the submission of the report was due in Feb 08-within my current second year.

It's crucial that you find out what the department want for the upgrade report. At my uni, each department has different requirements for the upgrading process. Unfortantely for me, my department does not have formal guidelines for the upgrade report, and as a result, I've struggled with finding out just what is required. In my case, it's a very detailed report (huge literature review, research questions, discussions on methodology, developed methodology etc etc) and an upgrade presentation) at other unis, it's a meeting.

I just feel that all I ever do, no matter how hard I work, it's is just not good enough and I really don't feel I can take much more of this and I'm seriously thinking about dropping out. I feel I've come along way in terms of my postgraduate life, what I don't need is to be made to feel like an idiot, which I'm not (and that's how it felt yesterday). Time and time again I'm having to deal with constant relentless criticism and have to keep picking myself up from the floor. I'm not sure how much longer I can stand to be placed in this situation.

There were a few positives, but overshadowed by major criticisms. I'll just have to pick myself up again.

Well I had supervison and having looked at my draft, I have to cut out almost half of the content-which is something like 30,000 words. I left the office early in a right state, tearful and upset after an intense grilling. I was told as feedback to provide the reader with background and theoretical groundings, so I did, but it looks as if I provided too much detail. I integrated most of the feedback comments into the report, but it's frustrating to be told different things from different academics, which results in confusion and ambiguity.

Furthermore, it would be probably easier for them just to not let me continue on, they could have denied my wish to continue on, but they didn't; which I'm taking as a positive. I have a few weeks just to focus on my report, and boy, I'm going to make it a good one! I've included and acted on all of their criticisms from the previous report, I can only improve above and beyond what is required. I agree that their criticism is just in a response to working at doctorate level so, by definition, their expecting a lot from me. Lord knows what kind of state I'm going to be if I get there! :S

Thanks for your support and comments though. In fairness to my supervisors, I've failed the first hurdle, and I've made the decision to continue. Their just doing their job in order to ensure that I pass this time and I think they are perfectly in their rights to have a lower confidence level in my abilities due to my previous report-which was shockingly bad! The criticism is just constant and soul destroying. I just have to remember that no one is forcing me to do this, I'm putting myself through all this stress and distress! I made the decision to continue onto next year; I could have decided not to continue.

The point of it was really just to get some support, and to see if other people are experiencing something similar. I consistency work hard, I work very long hours and I'm by no means a slacker. My project is very new investigation into something, and we all feel that this is new ground for us all. Feedback from other academics is that this is a new interesting field, worthy of a PhD and an ambitious attempt. All I'm saying is that I'm finding it hard to keep dealing with hurdles no matter how hard I work. I am being pushed to the limit, and although I'm getting the results from it, all I'm saying is this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do-and I'm constantly having to pick myself up again and again. It's using and draining all of my personal resources and I'm just feeling hollow and deflated, although I have the drive to continue, sometimes I'm ok, other times, like today, I'm not; a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

I'm 27 at the moment and I also feel like my PhD is draining and is reducing all of my personal resources to the point of where I'm always on a point of contemplating of whether to quit or not. From my experience, I've found concentrating on the bad points of the relationship, focusing on why your doing this PhD in the first place and perhaps trying to keep as much distance as possible from your ex (although I'm clearly not following my own advice on the latter point!), talking with friends etc may also help, also making yourself meet new people and to see new things etc may also help. I'm sorry to hear this has happended, but I totally relate to your pain and it's just a horrible horrible experience, particulary if your the one who has been dumped for a reason relating to your phd (long distance).

Hang on in there! big hugs xxxx

Now, a year on, my 'ex' and I are still very close (emotionally and physically) and I still see his family nearly every weekend. Although I have him back in my life which has made everything so much better, I'm now dealing with my own issues of having an intimate relationship with an ex, knowing full well that he does not want anything more than 'friendship'; ie friends with benefits-which is not in a good position. Right now it's ok, but I'm starting to think that he's taking advantage. I still have my bad days where I'm crying myself to sleep, but whats helped me at least cope with it (although it's complicated by frequent contact with him) is exercise(although I've stopped most of this now due to worries with my work), comfort eating, and throwing myself into my work. but all I can say is perhaps a break from your work would be a good thing. I didn't and my work suffered badly-which is probably part of the reason as why my supervisors are so hard on me!

I just wanted to say that I know completely relate to what your saying. I'm in my second year of my PhD, and in the first year of my PhD, my boyfriend of 5 years (although we've known each other for a total of 8 years) decided to end our relationship because he did not want to be in a relationship. I was completely devastated, shattered and just felt horrible for months and months; I even broke down in front of my supervisor and hasn't looked at me the same way since! I wasn't able to work or function at all, and my worked suffered badly-and I attribute it to the primary reason as to why I failed my upgrade. I hated myself for making the decision to move (although its only 50 miles away-I come home every weekend) as my relationship meant the world to me. We spoke about getting married, babies etc and I was very close to his family-they were like my second family and were exteremely supportive and loving (complete contrast to my own family).

Does anyone have any tips in coping with this?? I take criticism quite personally which I think, is one of my biggest problems.

I know I'm in a lucky position, they are very interested and keen for this project to go forward (it's integrated into a bigger project) and I get frequent help and assistance from everyone, so I can't really complain, but it's soul destroying to be constantly dealing with critcism all the time, and wondering what kind of state I'm going to be when the time comes to submit! (if I get that far!)

Other PhDers don't seem to be having as hard a time as I'm having-but maybe that's to do with differences in projects...