Congrats on the post-doc role!
Though I think your problem depends a lot on your field. In engineering post-docs are not supposed to do any teaching except maybe supervising final year students/ masters students. My department just hired someone as a lecturer with zero teaching experience, including during her PhD, entirely based of her research record. It might be different in other fields but I would like at the most recent hires in your department to see how much teaching experience you actually need. Otherwise I would focus on research as much as possible.

Hi JayHull,

I can completely understand you! First of all though don't quit unless you have another job lined up. Keeping a stable income regardless on how well you are doing is important. We all have periods were we lose all motivation and so called "second year blues" are real. There are some really good bits of advice out there on how to deal with PhD blues and lack of motivation. It can feel like a mountain sometimes but every little step counts and you should be proud of every little step. I wrote some similar stuff in Adan's post and maybe you can help as well. Personally, at the start of this week I had no motivation on Monday. Though each day I willed myself to do something and regardless of what I did I forced myself to only look at what I did do not what I did. By today (Thursday) I probably did a solid afternoon's work and am actually looking forward to tomorrow. Self reinforcement of every positive action will eventually drown out the negativity. Once you stop beating yourself up about what you didn't you, allows you to focus on actual doing. If you are having trouble starting and only doing the bare minimum, do the parts of the PhD that you used to enjoy and find that passion again. With lockdown it is easy to get into a self depressive routine so doing something that breaks your bad routine is good. If possible talking with other PhD students in some form or another can really boost your motivation as talking with your peers allows you to reconnect with your work. Even if you can work in another part of your house/room, you can do something to break the routine.

Also, if you are having difficulty witting due to sheer scale of it all, I find that it is easier to look at it one paragraph at a time. I write a sub heading and then one paragraph, with no editing what so ever, then try to feel proud of that one paragraph. If you do enough, you eventually trick your brain into releasing serotonin as a reward for every single paragraph and that makes writing big blocks rewarding.

The coronavirus lockdown has not been easy and I can completely sympathise with you. I think it is even more difficult starting a PhD during this time, as a PhD is tough. It is not supposed to be easy but usually PhD students build a support network with each other and the lack of social interaction with your peers can amplify your self doubt even more than usual. Most PhD students will have have some form of impostor syndrome during their studies and it sounds like lockdown is triggering it. Impostor syndrome can be dealt with and there is lots of good advice out there on how to deal with it. Personally, having suffered several bouts of extreme self doubt, lack of motivation and months of procrastination; you need to learn to forgive yourself and congratulate yourself on the little things. Building self confidence is a process and it begins by focusing on the positives and not the negatives. Even if you only read 1 paper or wrote 100 words, that is better than nothing, be happy that you did something, not what you could have done. We are often our own worst enemies when in reality if we put ourselves out there we are just as good as everyone else. You are only in the first year of your PhD, you aren't expected to be super polished, as it is easy to compare yourself with full-time academics when in reality you are still a student. I read some of the stuff in my first year and cringe at how bad it was but I also could compare myself with other first year students who were as equally shambolic. I understand lockdown makes it difficult to interact with other PhD students but if there is any opportunity to share your work, it really helps to build confidence.

To go through some of your points; most supervisors are not knowledgeable/available, there is no perfect supervisor so learn what they are good at work around what they are good at. If there is nor levant work, that is actually a very good thing in the long run, you have a niche. Regardless of how good your data is, your research is inherently novel and will make anything half-presentable publishable work. Again if there is no data out there, that is a good thing, you are a head of the curve so figure out a plan to get some data.

PS: If what I wrote was a bit weird I have been watching Bojack Horseman and it is very emotionally dark

Could be a bit of both. It takes a certain writing skill to start at a high level and efficiently narrow down the topic without going off topic or being too brief. It is difficult to write a good literature review in your first ever draft, so I would consider writing a detailed lit review and then you can cut it down through the drafting process. Personally, I write the headers first then the first and last line for section section, then bullet points of each section (so I don't repeat myself and can slowly build concepts), then write the text. I can't tell you if it is to vague but looking for a good structure can help refine your research question.

Sorry about the delay.

I know nothing about AHRC funding, so please take this with a pinch of salt. I wouldn't worry about the lack of references or prestige as they aren't a true indicator of performance. The prestige of your university means nothing compared with your grant proposal and many non-Russel group students get funding. If you are worried about references, you could possibly email and try to work with a UK academic to build a relationship/ reference. Also, in general you never know with grant applications, it all depends on who reads your proposal and do they like it. For all you know it could be a great proposal which will outweigh anything else, so there is no shame in applying anyway and getting rejected, there is always next year.

Goodluck!

If you are looking for PhDs, findaphd.com shows a wide range of funded and unfunded PhDs. You can also search by your funding status and there are also other PhD search engines. I don't think that there are many fully funded Masters courses available, unless you apply for grants but I know nothing about them.

Sorry Happygirl, I have no experience or knowledge about the Hong Kong system. Though in general I would focus on learning the areas that personally interest you (makes it easier to stay motivated) and learn the key terms. You don't need to be an expert but confident enough to have a simple conversation about it.

Goodluck!

Sorry for not replying sooner. It sounds like your boss is unintentionally exploiting you by not respecting boundaries and overworking you. I agree with abababa that you should try to have set day for production work and research work agreed with your boss but with some flexibility. If that doesn't work you can try physically distancing yourself by moving to another part of the office or simply not replying to production requests on your research days. I can understand that it is difficult to set the boundaries but usually after the first few encounters they stop asking and adjust to the new situation. What is the worst that can happen, fire you from the job you want to quit? Also, I might recommend doing some time wasting, ie take longer to do tasks than you need to or wait a few hours before sending the reply. Not only does it make them less likely to ask you again but you also reclaim some time for research

I had a similar problem but with placement students, supervisor got an international placement student to come to the UK for the summer to help work on my project. Except, it was the first year of my PhD, I didn't have any work for him and she took a 10 week family emergency break. Lets say I failed miserably.

My advice, if possible make them do replications or side projects which you have a methodology for. I later got another placement student to replicate previous work with a different feedstock but with a very rigid methodology. If you can't give them a research theme, think of the tedious parts of your PhD that you hate doing and ask them to do 10X as much. It also helps if they are doing the same constantly as you have to teach them less and by the end of the time they are pretty good.

Can I ask are you in the UK or USA? In the UK most supervisors do not have PhD money lying around but have to win funding. In the UK it is a lot easier to apply to a prefunded PhD than writing your own grant. I would definitely do lots of research for a prefunded application and you email the main supervisor asking more information about what is involved.

Also, you don't need to understand the minute details of every paper at this stage. Having a grasp of the core message in the paper and the implications of the research would be enough.

A friend of mine was in the same position as you. I think he got the university to provide a form saying that an unfunded extension was technically part time study as he only had 1 hour a week of contact time. I am not sure how universal that work around is but if you it might work.

I have access to chapters 1 & 5 if that is any help?

I am now a 4th year experimental PhD student and I can tell you contingency planning is a guessing game. The only thing you can really do is plan for what you currently know, don't bother with what ifs. So if they say May, make a plan to start a key experiment or trial or whatever ASAP from when you start. With the current lockdown yoyo, I personally have moved down to working in bursts of a few weeks, were I plan to do a certain amount of work, work flat out to maximise lab time and worry about the analysis later, as I can do analysis/writing during lockdown. It might not be appropriate for you but I would consider ways to maximise your lab time when you do get it, such as; pre-made excel sheets, pre-made data filters (or at least attempts), detailed methodology (and asking where everything is) and expected results so you know if the data looks right at glance and can continue immediately instead of analysing everything.

Also, I would add that you shouldn't worry too much about a 3 year plan in your first year. No one ever sticks to their initial plan as things always change through your PhD. So it doesn't need to be perfect but just a guideline.

I am not sure how good this strategy is but I submit as reviewers researchers I have referenced a lot in the paper. It is cynical but they might be less likely to reject me if I have referenced them 3-4 times.

Not to be rude but If I had been asked 40 times for a reference I would be getting a bit tired of doing it. Though, from my experience admissions departments follow up with applicants if they haven't provided enough references.

If you want to confront your ex-supervisor you could ask him for more advice on how to improve your application, given you have applied for over 40. It might make him more motivated to send your reference in on time as you have shown you care about his opinion and not just a reference machine. Or you could ask to work on a project with him on the side to gain experience, he gets free labour and you get more experience. Goodluck!