it appears to me, not knowing the details of course, that he is somewhat less than committed to your relationship.

turn around the perspective: what is HE deciding, what are his choices?
- he can go with you and keep the relationship.
- he can stay, while you go, and give up the relationship because he prefers not to move. (think of it. "not moving" is of higher value to him than your relationship.)
- he can ask you to stay, then he gets everything - relationship and "not having to move" - and he is also putting the blame for any relationship trouble on you, as it is your decision to end the relationship and move away. (again, think of it. you are deciding between relationship and career. he is deciding between relationship and "not moving". the latter is more important to him. but you are to blame.)

thinking is hard work. just ask any competitive chess player. a chess match can be as taxing as a box match! now if you did hard physical work for 8 hours, you would go home and expect to be tired. the same counts for hard mental work!

that's why i sometimes get annoyed of being "just a student". i wish what we do would be recognised for what it is: hard work.

i'd follow up on H's question. if he does not have very good reasons for not wanting to move, but is rather just too comfortable as is and can't be bothered to move, not even for your sake, then i'd assume the relationship is not going anywhere. in that case, you can just as well end it now and follow your dream, rather than staying and breaking up in a little while because you are unhappy... and then have nothing - not the job and not the relationship.
on the other hand - how "once-in-a-lifetime" is that job? is there some sort of compromise possible?

you could always submit, and if it doesn't work out, find someone more experienced to discuss it with. but who knows, it might be accepted as is. or, you get feedback with which you can adapt your paper to the standards requested.
personally, i would not approach someone senior in the field for help before at least trying - submit and see what happens!

oh i like that quote! thanks!

hope you achieved what you aimed for today, jojo! for me, the day has just somehow dissappeared between meetings and (money-related) work and this and that.
good luck for submitting tomorrow!

um. i want to reflect on things, think through things, write about things. and this topic is one of my key interests and my supervisor is the smartest person i know. that's my motivation for doing a, and for doing this, PhD. hopefully leading to more of the reflecting, thinking, and writing.

jojo i wish i'd catch an earthquake while meditating! i mean, i never notice them. i guess i am just not aware enough of my surroundings. but when meditating, i guess it can't be missed!

i guess i should be happy not to notice them, as you guys who did, obviously found it quite upsetting! but then, i do feel a sort of envy - i don't have any stories to tell

well my chess kiddies seem to like me and not to be worried about my age or gender. you could just try one of your SU's sports societies.
mind, i don't know any other PhD students who are involved in any SU activities/sports. and my friends think i am crazy for hanging out with these (mostly) undergrads (teenage male packages of hormones - you want to avoid that really, no?). but you could give it a try!

yeah i found that scary when i first came over, that people didn't even understand me when i spelled things out. english being my "mother-tongue"... could it be THAT bad?

i'm with you there, sixkitten. funded my first year and a few months of my second (fees only for the first, got a grant for the second year's fees). cost me - well that's quite easy: all the money i had (about 12000£) plus some.
it does make you wonder. you gotta be really quite committed to your PhD to put all that money into it.
(and that is not even counting the loss in earnings)

i don't know if that counts as sports in your reckoning, but i am in the local SU's chess society and play in the team.
it's fun, relaxing, and soooo totally different to anything PhD related. the other people there are all, well, 8-14 years younger than me and male. they complain to me about essays due, and i complain right back at them about marking essays. they have vague ideas of what my PhD is about and what my life is like, and will never ever meet anyone i know (well, with high probability not, anyway). i find i am making some very unlikely friends. quite enjoyable, actually!

my granny actually called me up on my 24th birthday and said "i hope you are not planning on having children quite yet!" that was a good thing as i had just become aware and stressing out about that when my mum had been my age (24), she was dealing with the death of her youngest child (of three), aged 3. it was important for me to realise that even my granny approved of me going my own way in life!

getting rejections is tough, but doesn't necessarly have to do with the quality of the application, but rather with luck. the statistical probability that excellent applications won't be successful is quite high!
however if you still think something is wrong with your references, i believe you have a right to see them. but i'm not sure about the details.

i slept right through it, too.
earthquakes are quite rare in england. but then england gets more than half of all european hurricanes, so that's fair enough. in some other european countries earthquakes are quite regular. we had several a year that should have been possible to feel/notice. but i never did
we even produce our own, back in switzerland. scientiest experimented with getting geothermal energy from deep shafts or something, and set off a series of earthquakes that caused considerable damage...