but now, it seems the winds have changed. i applied for and was offered to teach, and i also got another smallish job on the side. and i recently learned that i was awarded a grant from my university which covers the fees plus a little (i wrote about that elsewhere). best of all, my partner who is finishing his own PhD, was just offered an excellent job at a university very near to where i am (yes! the suit did it! thanks everyone!). now it feels like i have a future again. things to look forwards to, plans to make. now everything seems to have a point again, there are goals worth striving for, and although it is raining, it feels as if the sun were out.

in these circumstances, i found it very hard to do real work for my PhD. it felt as if the only point of giving an effort was to have it over with soon, and that wasn't enough for me, especially if that was going to continue for several more years. so, added to the rest, i wasn't making any progress on my project, either, which made it all seem just all the more pointless. it felt as if the present was awful and there is no future.

just something i feel like sharing.

when i started my PhD a year ago, it meant moving to a different country, that is, moving away from my long term partner, and from a secure job into financial insecurity. it was exciting and i believed in my possibilities and the future, and although it was tough to be separated from my partner, we managed quite well with lots of phonecalls and visits. but then one funding application after the other was turned down and with that, my future became ever more insecure, and my confidence dropped. by the end of the year i was broke, and disillusioned, and quite put off by having given up a good life for loneliness and hardship. (continued)

heya nimrod, you've been away for so long that half the people here don't know you anymore...

anyway, my summer has been going much like pea's last year summer, by the sound of it.

but now i've just had a huge confidence boost so back to work!

if i understand correctly, she has repeatedly been blaming you for faults you never committed, and she has been blaming you for her own faults. and - as long as you don't confront her, she is getting away with it!
it sounds like you really need to turn things around. leave the defensive position of "i didn't do it". it obviously isn't convincing anyone - people probably find it hard to believe anyone would put up with someone repeatedly wrongly blaming you without saying anything but "it wasn't me" so they assume it probably WAS you. instead of waiting until she confronts you - that's what her whole play is built upon - YOU need to confront HER. she has been blaming you (for making a mess) plenty of times. now, for once you blame her (for wrongly accusing you). make it public. even if people then don't know who to believe - your position becomes more plausible than it is now, because you are actually doing something about it.

nope.

well done, Corinne! I'm really happy for you! That's marvellous!!!

Hey SeaBird, good luck with plowing on! You can do it. When you're finished you will look back and won't believe how much you managed to accomplish in such little time. You'll be surprised. When it has to be, you can do amazing things. Most everyone I know who was reaching the end of a major piece of work, with a deadline looming, said afterwards that they still couldn't quite see how they did it, but that they accomplished about half of all the work in the last 10% of the time. I'm speaking academics here. Just keep going - you can do it!
And don't forget: if you do need a day off, then take it. It is a lot more efficient than working with half-energy for a week.

oh, sorry for misunderstanding, vagrant fish. well i suppose Ashphd is either referring to next year's funding or, more likely, has applied earlier, when the deadlines weren't past yet, and is now inquiring after what happens next.

hm rosy, perhaps rather than a BSc in psychology, you could do a diploma, or a Master of Advanced Studies, maybe in parallel to working? much of what one learns as an undergraduate is not strictly topic-related, but rather stuff like study skills, organised thinking, essay writing, etc. and you wouldn't have to re-do all this.
you will have demonstrated through your PhD that you can think, work independently, do research. what you need next is the psychological knowledge. yes, if you get some sort of formal education in psychology, i do believe you should be able to do research in both areas/interdisciplinary. but i'm no expert, maybe this is just how i think it ought to be, and far from reality.

no, not all funding for this year is closed - there are still funded positions open.
the process might vary. on the one hand, you need to be accepted as a student by the department/university, they usually wouldn't interview for that, but would just inform you of their decision, by e-mail for example. on the other hand, for the funded position, it depends very much on the person who is offering it. like, a professor got funding for a large project which includes a funded PhD position, and put out an ad. now it is up to this professor how he/she selects from the candidates (within legal boundaries, of course).
you could write an e-mail and ask...

jojo - welcome back

you probably just need to get started, then, once rolling, will have no trouble. to get started you could make an appointment with a friend, go to the library together or somewhere. formulate a clear goal for that day. you can't procrastinate that day because you can't let your friend down. do the same on the next day. after two days of work you should be rolling and not need your friend's help to keep going anymore.
good luck!

i take valerian tablets in stressful times, like exam times, or crises (family member being critically ill or such), when i find i can't sleep properly for several nights in a row.
found it helps to get over crises, but when it gets really serious, i still can't sleep. so in emergencies i take prescription sleeping pills instead.

i totally agree. life is really cheap in eastern germany, but still lots of fun, and you wouldn't be far from berlin and have lots of opportunities to go there, as your supervisor is there. berlin is fantastic. and being a stipendiat is really good for your CV and probably means you will be getting other benefits rather than just your stipend, no?
lots of people in germany live of 370€ (plus rent but that's cheap) as that is how much you get when unemployed (Arbeitslosengeld II).

i take it the financial aspects are not the only thing you are considering, but that the interest in your possible topics is given and you just want some career prospects to help you decide.

i believe there is no way of getting into medicine short of doing a medicine degree. your PhD in epidemiology would not help for that, i think. but it might lead to medicine-related sorts of jobs. depending on where you are, these sort of jobs are better or worse paid.

same for the last one - medicine related jobs possible.
overall, i think it is more your first degree that matters for your career outside of university. i don't think the PhD is the best way to re-educate for a different job. if you want to get into computers, study computers, but not as a PhD. hope you understand what i'm saying.