i agree. in some cases it might also be a defensive thing. many PhD students give so much in order to do a PhD, make huge investments, financially and socially. the idea is quick to arise that all this only makes sense if you are then 'better' than others. so, for your own sanity (so that your decision to do a PhD remains meaningful to yourself) you must maintain the distance between yourself and people who chose a different path in life.
don't misunderstand me - I am not saying it is alright. i just think sometimes the motives are more complicated than simple arrogance.

hey PhD girlie

if you care about her at all, I would raise the topic and let her know how you feel about it.

just distancing yourself from her is the last resort. it effectively means, "you've gone too far - there is nothing you can do, even if you change your attitude completely, that would make me ever want to associate with you again". because distancing yourself means that she won't know why, what the problem is, and is robbed of any chance to make it better or apologize.
so, if you do care a little about her, and since you're likely going to be working with her for a while, I suppose it would be better do get it out on the table.

are you two sure you're not sharing an office?

on topic: I suppose feeling sorry for Maddy doesn't necessarily mean not caring for all the other ills of the world. Just as caring for other things shouldn't necessary mean not caring for Maddy's fate.
It is obvious that as soon as someone starts claiming that one cause is more important than other causes, people become emotional.
So in this case I don't think you overreacted, it is just normal.

hey rudrapc,
i guess one of the main qualifications you need for a PhD, in UK US or anywhere, is that you show some initiative.

so, go looking. there are links on the left of this screen. you will find information on the US on US sites. a PhD is an individual project, and no-one but you is going to do the necessary research to find it.

this is not really an answer to your question, but I am wondering why you want to bypass your supervisor/not mention your PhD. Is it because you don't want him/her to know you are looking for something else or is it because you think he/she wouldn't write a good reference for you? In the latter case, you can easily ask someone else, letting him/her know. Are you worried that quitting a previous PhD will reflect badly on your chances for the new one? I suppose it is worse if they employ you and find out later that you 'lied' to them. Is it because you feel if you do mention your current PhD you would be obliged to give them a reference by your current supervisor? I suppose you could just explain. I am assuming that you have good, well reflected reasons for your plans and if you lay these out to prospective employers there shouldn't be any problems. But that's just my opinion.

i think it is funny how the post-contest discussions resemble those in swiss online discussions... switzerland also lost, didn't even make it to the finals, and now everyone is shouting "politics" and "why has switzerland no friends?"...

not any more

have you tried the hardship fund of your university?

at my place, there was a open post for a temporary lecturer (2 years). it is a quite prestigious university, and also social sciences. apparently there were 20 applications. apparently this is a high turnout for a temporary position.

i learned at a career workshop at my uni this week that in the hierarchy of post-PhD jobs the lecturer is the highest. the higher up in the hierarchy you go, the more people will be applying for fewer jobs. i suppose several of those applicants for 'your' lecturer post have several years of post-doc experience and loads of publications and teaching experience. i guess you have to be very lucky to land a lectureship right after your PhD. normally you'd first try for (teaching officer), research officer, research fellow/post doc on existing project, or, best of all, on your own project.

lol H you stomped on it? why, did it delete all your files? *g*

at my uni research students in general don't get working space (there is of course the library). most departments provide a shared work room with a number of workstations. like, for a department with 100 or more research students, there are about 20 shared workstations, in two tiny and crowded rooms. nobody gets their own desk/computer and there is extremely limited shelf space.
some research centres at our university (i'm lucky to be in one) provide their research students with individual desks. so i am in a large open-plan office together with some staff and 12 other research students. i actually prefer this arrangement to having a single office and wouldn't complain - i feel very privileged.

i intend to get my drivers licence this summer. apart from that it will be work, too, but as i won't have a permanent home, i will be working at different places. hope that will turn out to be fun.

- something that might help: try to identify the 'little voice in your head' that tells you that it would be sooo much more fun to watch that program or whatever. find out what it says, and identify a 'counter-sentence'. Write that down and stick it on your wall, the top of your computer screen, the mirror... wherever it helps. tell close friends to remind you of it every now and then.

this is actually quite hard and might involve some time/work/help of friends. but it's worth it if it helps you do what you really want. my counter-sentence btw is "but I LIKE reading/writing/thinking". as simple as that... but if I don't remind myself, I tend to forget. and play a game on the computer instead.

bdboy, you sound like me when I'm having a 'hard time'. I can tell you this:
-If you want to, it is something you can learn to deal with. You get over the phase of 'not doing anything and feeling bad about it', eventually. Other such times will come but you can develop ways of getting over with them faster. For me, just the fact that I know that I WILL get over it/that it will come again helps: I recognize what's happening, which lets me be a little less critical of myself when it happens, which helps get over with it faster cause I don't add to the bad feelings all too much!
-This is part of dealing with few structures. Some people don't have problems with this. Others do. That doesn't mean a PhD is not for you. You can learn! Be aware however that it will most likely never be easy.

just before I leave for a looong, well earned, absolutely not-connected-to-PhD week-end, i want to make sure i'm winning!

hope everyone else gets some rest and rid of stuff like migraines.