That's why some people with more than one child get an au pair or nanny. Nannies are quite expensive still and good ones are gold dust and much sought after! But it's cheaper than nursery and no drop offs/pick ups which is a very stressful part of the working day especially if they are at different places.

Child benefit is useful for clothes, toys nappies and stuff but makes no dent on childcare costs. You can get a tax free allowance for nursery fees - but only if you are actually working, not as a student.

I was complaining to my husband just last night that I would rather spend more time with Daisy before she starts school than spend so much time on the thesis. It just takes too much of my time. My incentive to submit by Xmas (going to be VERY tight) is that I can then cut her daycare down.

Going back to that student though. It is very difficult for a baby to be seperated so long from it's mother and still have a normal bond with her. I can see why she might prefer the grandmother to a creche though. He's very young for full-time nursery (not enough attention - too many different caregivers etc). Tough choice.

University creche/nursery is usually subsidised but still not cheap. We have 2 and they are a bit cheaper but not as cheap as the village nursery. Also, one of them just failed it's ofsted report and my friend's son is not happy there and they are looking to move him.

There are usually 12 in a group of 3 and unders. I have heard from other private non-franchised nurseries that the running costs really are pretty high. Even a childminder with much lower overheads is not cheap.

That student may prefer that her child has more personal care - nurseries can be tough for preschoolers - espeically under 3s. That's why I have switched to a childminder.

Alas yes Juno. There are cheaper nureries - but it depends where you live and what you want for your money. I looked at another nursery now that we've moved with is 33/day like her childminder but preferred the childminder which is also a lot closer. My entire grant is taken up with childcare and we will still be paying it when my grant runs out. 3 days/week at nursery cost me 600 pounds/month. This is why many women without family to help out can't aford to work. Imagine the costs if you have 2 or 3 preschoolers. At that point friends I know have either got a nanny or stopped work altogether.

Warwick has a really big campus. The plus is that it has a lot of space - including green space. But it is not that close to town (by UK standards) - it really is on it's own campus.

Schools are free and you should all be covered by national insurance for medical costs - so essentially free. Daycare can be expensive - childminers are cheaper than nurseries. My daughter's nursery cost 49 pounds/day but her childminder is 33 pounds/day (she's nearly 3). Most primary schools have breakfast and afterschool clubs for further childcare.

It isn't really that difficult to get a PhD offer (or two or three) if you are not looking for funding. Not meaning that a self-funded PhD is inferior - just that supply and demand for funding means it's at least an order of magnitude easier to find an unfunded position than to get funding.

My husband works in a profession that is about 80-90% women - and they have really good maternity packages and part-time/job share options. It can be done.

Some women really don't take to childcare. It certainly has it's ups and downs for all of us.

Well, I think it's pretty sad that someone would send their child away to do anything other than through necessity to put bread on the table (which is also sad in a different way of course). Even boarding schools don't usually kick in until 5.

I get what you're saying about making time for it to be a good experience, but in reality, it's as Dickens says 'the best of times and the worst of times' and most people set their own personal stress limit in order to experience the better bits. Personally I think the ideal is a longish maternity leave followed by part-time study or work. I thought I had that in order - but I am under more time-pressure than than I would have preferred.

I can't give as glowing report as Academicmum but the picture she paints of the working alternative is exactly what makes me nervous about a full-time academic post.

Well there is such a shortage of maths teachers I was asked to teach maths as a biology teacher - and I don't even have A level maths! So I think you're definitley in with a chance.

A lot depends on childcare. If you are the main carer then you have to decide whether you you can get or want good fullt-time childcare. I opted for 3 days/week and that has made it more of a struggle. I wouldn't want to be a full-time mom though. I'd go totally bananas. So it's a good mix in some ways - but challenging in others.

Juno - by your thinking no-one should have children unless they can stop work for 5+ years. In reality, that is not most people. I wonder what you think is an ideal time?

I did not exactly plan this although it certainly wasn't an accident. It IS tough I find - but I suspect I am under more pressure than some people and my future job arena is certainly firghtenly competitive. If push came to shove though, my camily comes first, and happily, my supervisor totally understand that and (despite the competition and the pressure) does not expect me to put work first.

Juno - she hasn't had the baby yet. let's see what she thinks after the birth. If she thinks it's fine to sacrifice bonding with her child - well, I'd be surprised. I've heard this kind of talk before - before the birth.

Janey - that's a fine plan but DO NOT think that someone can combine working from home with childcare. That is not possible. Many people find this out the hard way. You will need childcare of some sort.

Crikey - what terrible typing 'a lot less well-paid' etc

Financially, until this last year, it has been pretty tight. Depends how old your kids are and how much childcare you need. I do know of 2 couples who had 2 children while both grad students and survived with their marraiges intact to tell the tell. it depends how you define 'fun'. But then 'fun' changes very radically for all new parents