The process and the experience should be challenging interesting transformational, but should it be degrading, humiliating, uncomfortable and emotionaly careless? Good interpersonal skills are how people get to the top in the real world I've worked in. Rude and insensitive or inconsiderate behaviour means that these individuals do not on the whole succeed. Throughout my career Ive been faced with tough continuous feedback but always the goal was to help you to move forwards in terms of skills and knowledge but also considering your well being too. This is how I learnt and how I managed other people. I was very successful, my staff performed well in an affirming but challenging atmosphere. I'm now having to accept a bordering on bullying ethos as the norm apparently from these posts that's the impression I'm getting. If students accept it then supervisors will continue to think that this behaviour is OK. Perhaps it explains the poor completion rates in some departments. I'm not a moaner or a weak student, but I do pose a legitimate challenge to the world of academia in that a positive emotional learning environment enables progress, we know this from many studies of how children and adults learn.

Thank you, for all the useful feedback, well thought out and affirming.......would any of you like to be my supervisor ha ha?
I'm not planning a career in academia I'm doing my research to answer a question I'm interested in then I plan to go back to my life before. Doing research is a luxury for me. I don't want to hate it, I want this to be a positive experience and so far it's been rather a strange experience that I've had to navigate quite carefully. I am really open to criticism and peer review and feedback that is challenging, but the skill of doing this to maximise the learning in the person receiving feedback is surely the goal?
Ok I will keep smiling and playing my part in the ritual, but if I ever complete this, there is certainly a skills book to be written here.....mmmm methinks an ebook could be an idea!

Doing a PhD in something you are not interested in isn't that unusual or terrible, isn't a PhD simply a driving licence to do more research? Having passed your test and got your licence now you're free to indulge your passions. When I first learnt to drive it was in a rubbish car a mark 2 cortina, nowadays I drive something I love an Alpha Romeo but I couldn't do that without my licence. X

Marvelous, this is great, in my world we call them stem sentences...

Thank you, it's nice to hear it's not personal, just wondering now do all supervisors go on a special training weekend if they are all consistently employing the same methods? Please do my poll, it's just for fun!

I'm grateful to be self funding, well hubby is funding me, like I did for him many years ago. Its not really like a job, but it's no holiday either. Thank goodness my funder doesn't demand regular updates or reports, just dinner and some ironed shirts really.....

Hi,

Last time I posted I was all new and bushy tailed, having given up work after 30 years to do a PhD for my own satisfaction. Well 4 months in, and 3 supervisions, what a strange world academia is. In the public or commercial world we have worked very very hard to perfect skills in giving feedback, being affirming, enabling, and collaborative when coaching people. In academia my experience has been that supervision involves a ritual ceremony where the strategy is challenge, the methods non affirming, and the goals seem unclear. Burn and move on seems to be the approach. I am stealing myself for the next supervision but I will approach it with some amusement as well, as the game seems rather ritualised. I present a report on my reading it is ripped to shreds, I say thank you and the cycle is repeated. Is this normal? I asked my supervisors if they liked having PhD students they replied with genuine enthusiasm oh yes it's the best part of the job! They said it will get worse and you will hate us by the end, I replied that's not really how I manage my learning interactions with people 

You've not mentioned how this would affect your parents, do they mind at all?

Imagine you are having a conversation with just one student, make your public speaking personal, it removes the fear! Speak to one person at a time. Make the content the most important thing in the room, not you. Remove the 'you' from the event. Remove the 'ego' from the event, make the content central not you. This will lead to a loss of anxiety and fear. I've spoken to audiences of 300 plus, but I am really in my head only having a conversation with one person where the only focus is the material and I am simply directing their attention to that material. Ask someone to film you, watch it, study it, cringe, then make improvements. Good luck.

I aim to be in at least 4 days per week but work an average of one day a week to earn money. However I'm always thinking about my PhD so am never really not working on it, I carry it around like a tortoise carries it's house on it's back. I have a desk in an open plan office. I love my desk, it is my place of work. I save money on heating, phone, printing, electric light etc by using this desk. On the weekend I do lighter reading for my research swinging in a hammock or chilling on the sofa depending on the weather.

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Update on cycling attire- I'm currently testing golfing trousers as these are stretchy, use techie material so sweat is wicked away, and also are pedal pusher length, they are not too tight so look OK when you arrive at your destination. I suppose anything that is good enough for a golf club is good enough for the library ha ha!

A show is a very particular context more of an entertainment or sporting event, so why not begin by inviting them to come and muck out, bed down, put up feeds etc, so that they can make some links with any of their own experiences of caring for an animal.

I know you've almost certainly already considered this but for your self esteem and sanity why not work for free for a Charity, they often need people who can search for funding for them and have the skills to follow an Internet trail. Sometimes volunteering can lead to new colleagues and new job opportunities, if nothing else it adds something a little different to your cv. Good luck. Remember too that you can't reach the other shore until you let go of this shore. This could be a wonderful opportunity for you.

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======= Date Modified 26 Apr 2011 13:52:14 =======
Thank you everyone for taking the time to read and reply.
I've now found some lovely data which I know you will all appreciate and I hope enjoy as a distraction to be mulled over ha ha


Of the 3,700 full-time PhD students aged over 30, around 140 were aged 50 or over. The equivalent figures for part-time were 650 of the 3,430 (30 or over) were aged 50 or over.

In terms of completion rates, the table below shows a further breakdown of the completion rates reported in Tables 19 and 20.

Age group          FT     PT
Under 25          81%     57%
25 to 29          75%     55%
30 to 39          73%     53%
40 to 49          62%     47%
50 and over     68%     46%

That is really helpful, you've just made my day! Jumping on my bike to pedal to the railway station now to get that form. I have to use the train to work in London two days per month to earn dosh for my full time student fees etc. So a railcard would be brill.