hello all,

Sneaks you are very wise person, I'm gald I met you.
yeh i did those things and i went through a lot of things because of it, also i have become an outcast, although I don't mind it and it works much better for me, I do prefer to be isolated when i work but, at the same time it always feel like am some kind of outsider (although it might because am not from UK any way). But I know you are right, and these things should not be an obstacle, I try every day to overcome it hopefully it will get easier.

HELLO JINKIM,

OK i was like that most of the time during my writing, it is a heavy process and it is normal i guess to feel like that.
why people say am sorry to talk about my feelings!! isn't that what friends and family for? I think just writing my feelings makes a huge difference in my mood so it is good that we share, and if you want to cry then cry what is the harm in that? I found out that i was crying a bit every day for sometime, then I listen to some nice music after that i feel energised and start to write again and forget about everything.


I think there are other reasons for the crying apart from the writing and the Christmas season? well it was for me, so many things to handle at the same time it gets so lonely and i have to say the more you talk about it the more people will not understand you, so for me, i just cry a bit, rest a bit and then go to write a bit.
I don't mean to be so negative, but what i mean is just try and try it will be all over soon, and believe me it might sound stupid now, but there will be times when you miss this period (no one is asking you to do things, every one knows it is hard and leaves you alone, no work obligations, you are in complete control of your time...etc) at least it was like that for me.

May be as every one said take a break for few days and just go talk with your supervisor about the project (you can say i have questions about some new papers etc), not about problems, it will make you remember why you liked your research in the first place and start to get motivated (again it worked for me and it was good to leave the desk and just to discuss the project, what is new etc).


Hope this will help,

if you want help let us know, we are all the same

(gift)

oh that is so true sneak, it is certainly like that, and it is so annoying that they make you feel so inadequate and gossip all the time about others. yeh I can listen to music, but i have been there long enough and he really gets on my nerve, I try to hide it but, am bad in hiding my feelings and I do get upset, although i recover after a while and try to move on, but why I should be in constant pressure? he is really really a bully, it is so strange I can not even believe it that there are people like that, I know there are people everywhere who are annoying ..etc but, it is hard.
what I don't understand is why he is making fun of everybody around him all the time, and try to make you feel you are not welcome, another person in our lab left the place because of him! he always have to have some one to pick on, and the problem is he do it indirectly and in a very clever way.
I have developed my coping strategies now, but I just want to be relaxed when i work, my work is already so stressful.
But I do like my supervisor and my project, i never been in a such situation and I have always knew what is the best for me and pushed so hard to get what i want, but now just because of the lab environment I can not decide.

By the way thanks for the replies all, it is so nice to have support  it helps a lot (snowman)

OK, here is my situation.


if you really really like a project and you really dying to investigate it and you know you can be successful, and you really work well with the supervisor as well, you like the city and settled in a nice house, the only problem is there is someone in the lab who is very annoying and makes the lab environment a living hell.

he is almost like a teenage bully, he always makes jokes of others indirectly, and very unorganised which always causes problem and even if he doesn't talk to you his sharp toungue will harm you and distract you in a way or another. I had a argument with him so we are not talking now and since there is only two other people in the lab who are his friends so now am on my own there and I don't socialise or interact with them, to be honest I don't care so much about that cause I don't fit in their cycle any way but, am thinking my working place will always be stressful because of him (I must say am extra sensitive person and get hurt very easily), if it was possible to work in a different lab without him being in the same place I would be the happiest person on earth but, I don't know how to ask for that, or whether this will reflect badly on me?


Please help me, I can't sleep at nights and am totally going to loose my mind, because I love the project i just don't want to do any thing else.

======= Date Modified 12 06 2009 22:06:03 =======
Hello All,

At last I passed my viva, now the next step is to find a good job.
I thought it would be a good idea to share our experiences to find a Job after the Phd, looking forward to hear from you. I will write in more detail soon.

Best luck to every one (gift)(snowman)

Congratulations Olivia, I have passed too and I did well, I really did not think I was able to handle it well, but I did.

I was so tired and like you, at the start I was calm that it was over but, I am gradually starting to feel the freedom, it is a nice feeling

Good luck to everyone else, and my thanks goes to every one who supported me.

It was worth it after all (for all who still working, frustrated, writing and rewriting, all those bad feelings will all go away and will be part of history once you passed) :-)

what happened to your hat walm? is it a sign of being down?
I see you are back with your witty remarks, keep posting, this forum needs you 8-)

Good point, I have the same opinion here. it is time for change;-)

Hello wallmins,

Great that you are feeling better now, you have very sharp mind am sure it is just a phase and it will pass, you make this forum full of life.

About loneliness, I think we just have to accept the fact that for few months or so we have to be lonely, cause sometimes the PhD gets too demanding, it is part of the process and one of the skills that you gain through PhD is to survive on your own when times get tough, I don't think it will get tougher. for example now you have the group and your writing abilities is improving everyday, well for me this is a good coping strategy, isn't it ? you met us ;-)

am a bit more positive now, because my viva will be soon, and I can not tell you how nice it feels when you finally get to finish, it is so nice, and every one around you treats you differently. There is an atmosphere of support and well done attitude ( i don't know how to describe it easily).

I guess to gain something in life you have to give up something and for PhD I think one of the most difficult things (at least for me) is to cope with loneliness and accept that when there are alot of things to do we can not afford to live like normal people, but you will come out with a PhD at the end of it and am sure there was a reason you started it and reached this far. Obviously you like something about your work and the PhD, although every one is complaining about PhD all the time but, there is something which we all secretly want and are in a geeky way proud of 8-)


Sometimes in PhD you think things are really bad, but in fact they are not that bad after all, i think because when you work so much we just get frustrated easily.

The only great thing about this place is we can cry, moan, be weak, feel sad, if we do not let it out then how we survive? isn't the whole idea of this place to support each other? never ever feel that you have to show a strong face, no body will judge you, keep that cool attitude to your work place ;)

For me, only writing my emotions down here makes a huge difference in my mentality, just knowing someone share the same fears is great stress reliever by itself.

In fact if you don't ask for help, it might harm you more ( I speak from experience).

OK about your problems, I agree with everyone, do something you like, just take a shower and try to read a funny book or something relaxing and sleep well.

then I think you need to make a plan of what is expected from you and how much you should do in the next seven months, and talking with supervisor should help you.

am sure this is not the first time you feel like that, just remember you passed through previous ones and this one also will pass, you need to use your resources to get over it and am sure you can.

that is great teek, Keep in touch. I  don't mean to be greedy, is there any one who will have viva soon in the Biomedical sciences?
:-x:p

I will have a mock viva on Tuesday, and am really starting to panic now. The fear and doubts are starting to crystallise, I was a bit controlled before but, now am a mess.
OK I let it out, thanks for reading  :-(:$

======= Date Modified 26 Nov 2009 21:23:10 =======
OK, that is great nice meeting you both.

My viva is with in 12days, if you can help me great, if not I will provide support. Still for future it is good to know if I face a problem some one out there might be able to help.



I will write about my viva experience occasionally in my thread ( the thread is called support for my viva in December), hopefully i will be helpful.

:$8-)

is there any one doing biomedical sciences, Biochemistry or related fields?


I would like to know please if you do not mind, it would be nice to share experiences and ideas.


,-)

Is there any one doing Biomedical Sciences in this forum?

======= Date Modified 26 Nov 2009 18:43:56 =======
Hello Cleverclogs, H and TT,



By the way I have voted for all of you as helpful users.



Cleverclogs thank you very much for the reply. My university provide elink for the famous viva survival books, so I don't have problem in that.



H also thanks for the nice advice and support. it keeps me going. By the way would you be able to post sample viva questions please? and how did you respond? I would appreciate your help ;)





Thanks for the reply TT, but am not quite sure how can you make a one line summary of each page? how is that doable? 



Any questions or advices will be much appreciated, this forum is the only thing that keep my mind sane, please keep it going. I'm all alone so you support is much needed

:$:-x