I think the main issue here is that there is no comparable term of abuse for a man, and if there is then its often percieved as a 'good' thing - whereas for a woman its damaging, extremely so - no woman trying to make it in the world and trying to maintain a circle of friends would ever want the label 'slag'. We have all been called it at some point I think in pure abuse even if only at school when it wasn't in any way accurate and the fallout is horrible. There are just some words aimed at a woman that tend to really upset them if there's that level of insinuation behind them, even if its said in jest unless you are really close!!! Sometimes, even someone with a really dry sense of humour needs to stop for a second and engage their brain before opening their mouth and consider if their words will upset someone unnecessarily - the trouble here is that I don't suppose that many younger men (ie those who hadn't seen the effect those kind of words can have) would consider that that would have that effect as there isn't the life experience of being insulted in that manner, live and learn.

I'm with the other girls here ;-) If someone said that to me that I know really well and know their sense of humour I'd laugh, if i didn't know them I'd think what a ******* (insert your own expletive) and then avoid them as they aren't worth my time. Having said that, like some of the others my opinion has changed over time on a couple of occasions where I've decided that they're alright :-) It all depends how you said it, how well you know her blah blah.

The point has been made though that you don't know her history necessarily and what is a funny joke to someone can be devastating to somebody else and can appear they are totally over-reacting, but in truth they aren't - you might have hit a horribly raw nerve.

I'd apologise, be nice, you're a fun guy with a wicked sense of humour (I like that) but that can sometimes get you into trouble as I know to my cost too ;-)

Yay!!! Go you :-) Sounds like a wonderful opportunity for collaboration and so good to hear you're entering write up!

Lol, I think everyone flirts a little, some a lot (I'm in the latter camp, can't help myself - dreadful flirt!) but when they are seriously full on flirting then its different and more intense - it sounds as though this person is interested, try flirting back a bit - go on, give it a go, its only flirting not full on action so not inappropriate :-p

Lol, yep, or were they just being sarcastic? ;-) If it was just for you with a bit of lingering eye contact and smile and probably some hair twirling then I'd say flirting

Excellent news on the job interview :-) I think guilt is part of this whole thing and we need to try and fight it lol - you are entitled to some time off, enjoy it with hubby :-) Lol at primark, we don't have one near us and I always have a splurge when I go near one :-) Just enjoy yourself, the PhD will still be waiting and you'll have had a rest from it - in no other job would we be expected to work 52 weeks a year or we'd burn out, I bet your sup has the odd holiday! Don't answer the phone, ignore it, ignore your uni email and have some fun, you've worked for it :-)

Its all getting very surreal.... Smug seems to be the resident troll right now, but no idea about 'dispatcher' - whatever that's about!

I so hate that too - I hate it when people call me a perenial student having a good time and ask when I'm going to get a 'real' job!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR - and people that say it must be such fun just hanging around the uni and writing a bit here and there - and people who say 'but you won't be a "real" doctor' with that smug look....... I work harder now than I've ever worked, I work all hours of the day and night, I work til I drop and have done for years to get where I am now. I would so love to have a 'real' job sometimes, the kind that you do your hours, come home, have evenings and weekends off and have a life!

I'm also at a bit of a stage where I hate my PhD - I mean, I'm so grateful to be where I am, working with the people I'm working with, but the money, the stress, the hours, the workload are so immense and tiring sometimes - it seems never ending, as though I'm stuck here forever or until I have to go through the hell of completion and the viva - in that respect it feels like it can only get worse and being already so tired that is daunting. Another year and I'm at the end of my 3 years, 2 years max to submit, but I want to be done sooner than that, I can't survive on nothing.... sigh...... I also wish I'd done something different, something interesting to others - but that's not how it works, I tell people what I'm doing and they look at me as if to say wtf do you spend your life doing that for, its hardly the cure for cancer (I'm in history) and that gets me down - right now I can't see why I'm doing what I'm doing at all - I mean, what's it all for? What difference will it make to anyone or anything - sweet fa...... There are times I could cry, times I could drop out quite easily, but something keeps me pushing on - bloody mindedness most likely - I WILL NOT let this damned thing beat me ;-)

Hmmmm feel a bit better after a rant - you guys understand, if I ever rant in the real world I just get 'well quit then'....

Sounds horribly awful, really feel for you but so glad it went so well in the circumstances - that's class :-) Do you have your analysis on your home computer? Could anyone email it to you?

Flipping heck, that sounds awful!!! You poor thing :-( I agree about the card - could well be a hold put on it, they've done it to me before - the phone could possibly be the same, that happened to a friend... is it sorted yet Bug? swallow your pride and borrow the money, you deserve to at least eat! Please don't say its a curse, I'm waiting to hear if I have been accepted for a conference in Edinburgh - it would be my first where I'd be presenting and the last thing I need is a curse lmao!

Lol, I have the same problem and use the same sentence starters :-) I end up reading back through to find which I'd used most in the previous few pages. The trouble is that there are only so many words in the English language and we end up having to use all of this kind :-) 'Indeed' is another of mine... hate it though, its one that I use in dire emergencies ;-)

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Definately not too old! I didn't even start my BA until I was 34, I will submit my PhD somewhere between my 42nd and 43rd birthday! I certainly plan to get work - 25 is so young, most of the people I study with are in their 30s and 40s, there are the odd few in their 20s but they are the exception - on my MA the oldest man was 73 (obviously not going for a job necessarily). I don't know your industry but generally speaking employers prefer slightly more mature people than someone who's 23 or 24 - there's certainly no discrimination that I know of at your age so don't worry!

I have my supervisor's home number but never ring it... I wouldn't want to intrude in any way on his personal home time - the only time I used it was when we were attending a meeting and he told me to ring ahead to let him know what time I'd be arriving so he could be right ready to go on to our meeting. I don't think I'd text him, but then although we don't have a really 'formal' relationship I still try to maintain the respectful distance. He has both my home and mobile number available as the uni have them and has called me before about work issues when he knew my internet was down but that's about it.

I've also used the rescue remedy (albeit reluctantly as I simply can't understand how it could work) and found it surprisingly effective and I wouldn't have thought it would be the placebo effect as I didn't expect it to do anything at all - it was more to please my friend who was worried that I was having an anxiety attack.

Yep, curtains make a massive difference - you can buy lose thermal linings in places like argos but they can be expensive - a sheet or blanket works just as well (but doesn't look so good from outside) and the heavier the curtain (check your curtain tracks can take it) the more of the draught you'll keep out and the heat in. My friend who also lives in a freezing old house didn't open her curtains hardly at all, even in daytime during this last winter - I never opened the ones upstairs but figured I needed some daylight lmao!