Lol, no I wouldn't use a water bottle and an electric blanket at the same time ;-) could get a bit too toasty.... I can't stand hot water bottles in bed anyway, you get a hot bit and the rest of you is frozen lol - nope, in the depth of last winter I used to fill a couple of bottles, put one on the chair behind me (well wrapped) and lean against that while working and have another that I used to put in a fleecy blanket on the floor, put my feet on it and wrap the blanket around my legs :-) Its not a good look lmao but when you're that cold you don't really care - that and lots of hot drinks - I still managed to drop to clinical hypothermia at least three or four times a week but the halucinations were kept under control lol - but then its COLD here - we can see the sea (through the rotten window frames) and the combination of a timber frame, no heating and rotten windows mean we feel the full blast of that bracing sea air - ice on the inside of the windows was common lol - never been so cold, but the advice we've given here certainly helps - turns it from 'unbearable' to 'omg when is it going to end' ;-)

Hope you're ok! well done you :-) My day has been a total waste work-wise, but I've had fun playing mario on the Wii with my little one and giving her some time, visiting my parents and spoiling hubby, so not a waste, a good day off - I don't have them very often and I think its important :-)

I've had beta blockers for a heart condition and I'd avoid them like the plague! Even with the backflips that my heart does sometimes (it'll race to over 220bpm at rest) I've been told by my doc to only take them as a last resort after using all the other techniques she showed me as they can make you feel terrible - I mean really terrible, but they don't affect you like that every time and if they were to hit you while you were in the process of walking to present your paper you'd be in big trouble! The other thing is that if you take these, and if they were to help, then getting out of the habit of it and presenting without them would become harder and harder - I don't mean a physical addiction, but a psychological one - its another reason my doc has spent so much time teaching me carotid massage and everything else.

I've suffered with panic attacks since I was a teenager, they were terrible, and I had a total terror of public speaking BUT I find that relaxation, cognitive behaviour therapy, NLP and general breathing techniques help no end. That way you learn to deal with it yourself and overcome the fear and learn how to control your body's response without resorting to drugs. I'd seriously consider that route before getting a prescription for something that could seriously cause you problems. They are a drug for a purpose but they've been hijacked to some extent by the anti-anxiety side and having suffered with both the reason they are made, and also the anxiety I can assure you that there are far far better ways of dealing with this :-)

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It sounds like a nightmare for you, I so clearly remember the uncertainty and worry and I had to wait until the end of August to hear about mine not knowing if I'd start the PhD in the Oct and still writing the MA dissertation for submission in Sept at the same time. I didn't get full funding but got enough to get my fees paid and a 'very' small bursary. You do get through though, many of us don't have full funding, it must be wonderful to have but try and sort out a plan B just incase and also try to relax. You have personal stuff as well as the PhD to worry about, you can do nothing about the PhD so put it to one side if possible for now. As has already been said these weeks will seem like nothing further down the line, its awful waiting and not knowing. Have you investigated other areas of funding that might be open if you get the PhD place but not the money? As I said, I actually have 2 scholarships that combine to pay me a little bit, I also have a p/t dept job that helps pay the bills - life would have been easier the other way but its possible.

mine is also only from 1997, they have paper copies from earlier so probably worth asking your librarian :-)

I got the double glazing film from B&Q last year, not sure if they have it at this time of year but it was with the insulation stuff like draught excluders etc (they are a good idea too - brushes on the bottom of the doors and the foam (or more expensive options if you can afford them) around window openings and the door frames. You can also buy it online - very easy to use - stick the double sided sticky tape around the window frame, put the film in place and blast it with a hairdryer, it goes very tight and isn't noticeable.

I'd also second the hot water bottle idea :-) and electric underblanket - that was a godsend this year! Oh, and thermals come the winter - look hideous but I had to be prised out of mine lol - made a big difference :-) That and ugg style boots for slippers - sooooo sexy (not) but very warm and cut down on electricity bills!

I have a couple of storage heaters here - don't touch them unless you absolutely have to - they are eye-wateringly expensive to run, particularly if you don't have a low night rate tariff, plus the fact that they are utterly useless in my experience, they take the chill off but don't 'heat' anything.... portable halogen heaters are ok but they aren't that good and they are still expensive but needs must and all that. We don't have any heating here to talk of and are lucky that we have a couple of open fires, we did use electric heaters a bit in the winter but my bill was literally 4x as much for the winter quarters as it has been this quarter - terrifyingly high :-/ There's the usual low energy bulbs, they help a bit, but there isn't a huge amount you can do when you're on electric only. Are your windows doubleglazed? If not then you can buy the film that acts as double glazing quite cheaply come the autumn, it sticks onto the frame and cuts out the draughts a bit.

Yay :-) its always good to hear that there might be light at the end of the tunnel lol and even better to see someone merry - wish I could join you but have nothing in the house ;-) freedom and happiness sound soooooo good...... I almost wish I was in completion and not still a second year lol, you make it sound such fun!!

Oh God..... I'm so sorry ((((((((((((((((((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))) the timing would have a hard time being worse but you CAN do this. You've given years of your life to getting where you are now, pull it together girl, put everything else to the back of your mind and just focus on your data, get it written, don't let this blow everything you've done for so very long. I know that your bf was having a really hard time of things, that he was depressed and down and you've tried so hard - it seems to me that if he couldn't even hang on another flipping 10 days to help you through this before dropping this on you then there is NOTHING you could have done differently. I'm just so sorry that you have all this hurt and heartache at the time you need it least but you have your thesis, you have your goal, focus on that just for these next few days and go for it - we're all cheering you on. Sending you a bucket load of cyber chocolate and hugs xxxx

I got up relatively early too and have been at work all day (I work as an RA in the dept) - I haven't done any thesis work today, but had a good chat with my sup (also my boss) and sat in on a sup meeting with an MA student to offer guidance as she's working in the same area as me, so that was helpful to see things from the other side.

definately different :-) (handwriting looks a bit like mine, although mine's even worse!)

Good grief!!!! That's 22 years later! Heck, that had to sting :-/

Hi there,

Firstly, I don't think your feelings are due to not wanting to do a PhD, when you think you are pregnant your thinking tends to change no matter how worried you are about having a baby unexpectedly, and then when its confirmed that you aren't pregnant I think it can be quite normal to feel gutted, its happened to me a few times and I've felt very upset, totally unexpectedly as the last thing I need right now is another baby :-)

As for the work you've done, that's the norm in your kind of PhD for the first year, I'm in History and in the first year I wrote a lit review which will be adjusted but is a start, and then a paper on my sources and what I'd been doing - I didn't do any real research until the summer of my first year/beginning of the second and I remember feeling pretty down where you are right now. Things do pick up, they really do, once this boring bit is out of the way then the 'real' stuff begins, but what you've done is essential as its the foundations of your next 2 years work. I wouldn't worry too much about criticism at this stage provided your sup isn't being stroppy for the sake of it - its all essential stuff and will help you one heck of a lot in the time to come. It sounds to me a perfectly normal first year of a qualitative style Phd.


First year blues are so normal and it sounds as though you've had a rollercoaster of a month, all confusing and frightening, combined with the tedium of getting the foundation right - keep going, you're about to start the good bit :-)

Oh yes!!! Mr Darcy!!!!!!!!!!!! *swoons again* - I don't think I'll ever fully recover from 'that' scene ;-) P&P was and still is utterly wonderful - I have it on DVD so I can swoon anytime I choose

I'm also of the long nail variety - I'm now worrying about the length of my eventual thesis - they are such a pain that I have to keep filing them down as they intefere with typing - they never used to grow like this!