I also agree that you just do whatever it takes to get through this - if its getting your hair done and chilling with a friend then that's great, others would prefer to be uber busy, I think I'll join the rocking in the corner muttering profanities brigade when my time comes. That's late, a nightmare really, I hope that when I finally get there that mine will be a morning, but if it isn't I know that there is no possible way I'll get ANYTHING constructive done during the morning, I, like you, would get wound up. So.. do what you need to do, I don't think you're crazy, you'll go in there, newly done hair looking fabulous and having had a chat with someone who cares for you - that's great :-)

As the others say though, drop the negativity, you'll give it out like skunk spray ;-) lol. You've got to believe in this - look what you've done - I'm in awe of you!!!!! You've got there, you've submitted, I'm sure your work is brilliant, believe it and be positivepinklady!!!! You've done something that not many people can, and now its your chance to really brag about it, discuss it in depth for a few hours with some great minds and come out of there Dr Pinklady :-)

Hello Karl,

I can so understand why leaving your PhD has had this effect on you, but I think you need to consider this in the broader - life long - picture. You started down a path that you realised you weren't happy with, a career that simply didn't suit you personally and you took the very brave step to turn back rather than blindly following the path with your head stuck firmly in the sand. You didn't leave because you couldn't do it, you didn't leave because you were pushed, you took a rational decision - that's not failure, its not a cause of self doubt, its actually an extremely strong thing to do and you have my full respect.

Don't sell yourself short - look at what you want from this life and go and get it - academia wasn't for you - so what?? Its no big deal, academia isn't for the vast majority of people, it doesn't make you any less of a person, a failure, or anything else. Everyone is different Karl, for many of us academia is the life we want - it certainly is for me, but I would no more consider you as any less of a person for saying it wasn't for you than I would anyone else I 'know' that are in a different field. Life is short, go for your dream and get it and don't let anyone put you down or tell you you've failed - you haven't, you've simply chosen another path that is far more suited for you and will make you happy in the long run.

I've been away too - my broadband and phone line went down :-(

I'm another historian so its great to see a thread like this (up) here you go everyone :-) (mince)(gift)(tree) - I do like festive stuff lol lol.

I'm in my second year, just passed my upgrade today so a very happy girl - one of the board said the topic I've written on could 'make my name' - cue huge smile 8-) I suffer badly with a lack of self confidence so the lovely comments I got just made my day and made me so happy!

Lol, Whitney was pretty out of it wasn't she - there was another as well - can't remember who now that was totally out of it - Dermot actually said to one of them - Bon Jovi I think (yummmm) its nice to interview a sane celebrity or words to that effect lol. Ooooh, so who will go tonight? They were all so good last night, especially Joe and Stacey, surely it will be Olly?

I love X Factor - I'm totally addicted - its shameful really!!! I so want Joe to win, or Danyl or Stacey maybe, I don't like Olly - awful isn't it. I am almost dreading next weekend when my Saturdays will be barren and empty for a while - sigh - and I'm a Celebrity ends tonight - utter heartbreak

My name is Stressed and I'm a reality TV addict.....

======= Date Modified 03 Dec 2009 17:54:55 =======
Lol, awww Wally, so sorry to hear about your poor backside - but I can see that its a good reason - no sitting, no work! I'm sure your sup will understand ;-)



Cleverclogs - the fact that you know all the words to YMCA is worrying ;-) I can see you dancing it right now in your little clogs ;-)



My reason is yet again my bad back - owwwww - feeling v sorry for myself - had to work today on campus (paid RA work) and it was so bad - my colleague has lent me her kneeling chair to see if that helps or not - the old one used to cut of the blood supply to my legs, but this one is rather comfy :-)

Lol, I also prefer a vague sense of anonymity - but I'm in history and based somewhere in the south ;-) Lol - heaven forbid my supervisor saw all of this - I think he already thinks I'm totally nuts lol!

Phdsmug, don't do it - clogs is a scarey person with a ridiculously high IQ and most certainly wouldn't dream of doing anything immoral like kissing you before you're engaged!

Seriously though - stay clear - I'm sure its a power thing (like my thing for Simon Cowell) - try to avoid him if anything unless in a purely professional situation - he's married, don't even dream of wrecking his home and his career.

Lol Sneaks, that's the kind of thing my hubby would do!

I can never understand the snooty attitude to homemade presents. In my mind a homemade gift is worth far more than a shop bought present. Anyone with a bit of cash in their pockets can go and buy something, but if someone has made something for you then it means they've taken time, thought of you, and put something of themselves into your gift and that is way more valuable (up)

Well I two timed - I did the dirty on Andy Pandy when I discovered Dougal from the Magic Roundabout - my bad!!!! I also have an unfathomable crush on Simon Cowell - must be the power thing - and my crush on Colin Firth - ahhhh Mr Darcy - knows no bounds! My biggest shame was my total and utter adoration of Simon Le Bon - I was convinced that all I had to do was meet him and he'd fall in love with my 14 year old self. When he married the bi*ch I locked myself in my room and cried for 3 days - totally inconsolable - my parents had to ring my best friend (lucky cow - John Taylor wasn't hitched then) and get her to come down and try and talk me round - utter heartbreak. Hmmmm.... I too am a horror for washing up - the mess in my kitchen is a sight to behold - its dreadful - I really should do it more often

======= Date Modified 01 Dec 2009 13:28:23 =======
I remember a couple of years ago it was decided among the AHRC applicants that a group of faceless beings would sacrifice a black rooster and then examine its entrails in order to reach a decision on who to fund - then they would send out the monkeys with a bag of random letters to distribute in any fashion they saw fit to the applicants - I wonder now if we were a little cynical....



From what I understand, (and I'm in the humanities so it may be different - probably) the funding is given to the best applicant who ticks as many of the boxes as possible and who has the best research proposal (all important), grades at BA/BSc and masters and references. It is something of a lottery though - I'm not funded by a council, my proposal although it made it to the final two, was considered slightly too quantitative for AHRC but too qualitative for ESRC - hmmmm lol. They have their 'sexy' 'in' topics and if you aren't doing one of them then ermmm tough.... its brutal - we have to be frank here.



As for if you don't get funding, well, there are uni scholarships (arguably more competitive than the RCs), they don't tend to pay as much - I have two which combine to roughly half a RC scholarship + fees, and there are numerous small bursary funding opportunities out there - its a case of search for them, apply and wait. For most people though its simply a question of having to self fund.

Ha ha ha ha ha - omg that is so good!!! So obviously created by someone who's been in our collective boat ;-) I loved it - thanks for that LeannePhD - its given me a great laugh and almost taken my mind off my backache for a few mins lol

I tried using my old birthing ball but had problems with it in that its not big enough (in height) to get the right angle for my arms at the desk and I spent half my time falling off of it ;-) I think if you could perfect the technique and could get one of a big enough circumference then they are supposed to be very good for your posture.

I've also heard that about the kneeling chairs, the cheap ones are rubbish - you need one that's fully adjustable, again the right height - what I did find when I tried out one that a friend was dumping (!!!????) was that it made my legs really ache and my feet go numb lol - this sitting thing is far more complicated than we make out when we prop up our babies and encourage them to get upright!

I'm sitting here with a cushion folded up at my back, a sloping triangular cushion on the seat and goodness knows what else to try and get my position right - its not easy - this close to Christmas though I feel guilty about spending money on myself - although with my back aching as it is I may end up having to. The other thing I'm finding, and I'm not sure if anyone else has this - is that I'm getting the most awful pains in my wrist. I think its from having it resting on the laptop all day (I hope that's all it is) as my desk (read old dining table) is too high I think but I don't know how to remedy that - its got big pedestal legs so I can't exactly chop it down. Added to that my laptop runs so hot that I now have a laptop cooler (amazing device that the laptop sits on and it blows cold air in underneath) so the laptop is even higher! Is being a student or an academic automatically going to mean a lifetime of aching joints and a bad back?

======= Date Modified 30 Nov 2009 17:46:10 =======
I hope it helps you Megara! You often feel far worse after seeing these people for a few days lol - I'm sure that they like to 'manipulate' just that bit extra lol lol, it does seem to help a lot in the long run though. Interesting about the lumbar support - mine is certainly rubbish - as is my posture when I'm working. I can see a backless chair causing me even more injury though - fling yourself back from the computer when in a frustration at your writing and crack your head open - that'd be my luck ;-)