I'm with you on this - it doesn't make any sense, but no, I don't think they mean much. There are some people who are given honorary degrees where you think, yes, they didn't go to uni for whatever reason, but they've made one hell of a big contribution to society through their lives, then there are others, like Vernon, who is quite amusing sometimes when you just want to chill and not stretch your brain in any fashion (but I certainly wouldn't call him a 'comedian') and you think, why.......?????? What possible difference has he made through his contribution? An honorary doctorate is always going to be a bit of a kick in the teeth to those of us who work so very hard for so many years, but yep, I reckon he's the only person from Bolton that they could find and they felt that they had to give it to someone!

You have so much on your plate right now, so many changes, so many challenges its hardly surprising you're feeling out of it. It will get better, those first few weeks are murder anyway, I'm still kind of trying to find my way and i'm nearly a year in now, I remember quite clearly only a few weeks in sitting and crying and thinking what the hell have I done and I had nowhere near as many changes to cope with as you do.

Don't worry about age, age is immaterial, but the others are right, make sure you try to build yourself a life off campus too - and what are those working hours about??? That is crazy, utter madness actually - you simply cannot read for 10 hours a day every day and take it in - I'm f/t and work about 30-40 hours a week - some weeks, sometimes more if I have a deadline, sometimes less. You don't say which country you are in now, but remember that the Phd is only a part of your life, not all of it (although we'll all agree it feels like that lol) - you must ensure that you build a whole life and make the very most of the wonderful opportunity you have now.

It will all work out in the long run and you'll look back on these early days and smile and realise how much you have changed and how much you have grown

Take care, and remember its good to cry, it lets out so much frustration and pent up emotion, don't worry about the crying bit, just make sure you pick yourself back up, brush yourself down and go and do this that you've worked so hard to achieve xxx

Hmmmm, I think voluntary work is a great idea, I would recommend moving house, its been a massive distraction to me the last couple of weeks, but maybe a little extreme! I tend to end up procrasinating, chatting online, sorting out my chickens (yes, I have them too) and various other things. If you could do some exercise that might be good too, very relaxing in a strange way! Apart from that, yes the tennis has been great, or just sit out and enjoy the sun for a bit :-)

I'm much the same, we moved house last week, I had my 2nd review on Monday which went very well, and since then I haven't done a thing! Not helped that I'm trying to unpack the house, but I did try and do a little work and just couldn't concentrate. I think I'm also going to have to do a few short bursts a day to get myself back into the swing of things as I'm looking outside thinking how nice it looks out there, looking around the house and wondering how we still have so much to unpack and sort out, and generally my work is the last thing on my mind!

Hi Scarlett, IBS is so very very common and I really feel for you, it sounds as though you're having a really bad time of it - I have it too (yes, we should have an IBS board) and although I'm rarely as severe as you sound atm I know that feeling all too well.

I can't really add much to what's been said here, you've had some fantastic advice, just wanted to offer some moral support to you. I'd also agree with trying (if you have enough time - what's spare time anyway when doing a Phd???) to find some kind of relaxation techniques, maybe classes of some description to help you to deal with the stress, and keepign an eye on what you're eating, although I'd agree being a vegetarian it could be tricky and to cut out food groups isn't good for you and could lead to even more stress!

Take care and I hope that your doctor can help you out a bit more - you most certainly aren't alone, and although it is an embarrassing condition to discuss, its so very common you'll probably find that many people you know, poss even your supervisor, have experienced it and will be able to support you.

What you're saying sounds totally normal lol, and as Bug says, this is the first of very very many...... I so hope you'll do well, I was just the same, was up for the first provided those last few exams and the dissertation went ok and so much rested on it! I too would have been gutted with a 2:1 but kept telling myself a 2:1 was a damned good degree, which it is, it is one heck of an achievement, but I'm a bit of a perfectionist too. Those last days were awful, the results we posted a day early and I was told that they were there and I refused to log on (we get ours online) until I was virtually battered into it by our admin lol. I got the first and it was the best day of my life but the waiting - argggghhh - remember it so well and so feel for you going through that wait too! You'll be fine, there's no reason why any of your latest work should be any different in quality to the earlier work, just try and keep busy and try (I know....) to not even think about it until the day comes xxxxxxxxxxxx

Yayyyyyyy - congratulations bug!!!!!! Really pleased for you, and so quick!!! You deserve this so much, you're such a star and work so hard - couldn't be happier for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Congratulations :-)!!!!! I think maybe you should leave it til after your first scan, that way you know you're ok, baby is ok, you've had time to get used to the idea yourself, and have had time to make plans. He doesn't need to know before then, most people don't tell their employers (which is kind of what he is) until they are at least 12 weeks so I wouldn't worry. He'll soon spot the connection once you tell him between your output and your pregnancy. It is great news, it will be excellent and you will finish, it just might take a little longer - I started my BA when my daughter was a baby and have managed to keep going fine :-) Enjoy your pregnancy, these first 3 months suck, but then you'll get a lot more energy and will be able to power through your work in the middle trimester :-)

======= Date Modified 15 Jun 2009 09:01:40 =======
Oh Sinead - you sound at the end of your tether! Listen to the others, go and see the uni counsellors - they are there to help you - you don't have to say a thing sweetheart, I PROMISE you, they'll have seen all this before, many many times - different backgrounds to the problem, but the same result. Nobody will think worse of you, nobody will think you can't cope, all anybody will think is that you need some support, some help, some reassurance, somewhere to have a darned good cry and let it all out, and then practical help with sorting out what sounds very much like depression, stress and over-work and getting you through this!

It sounds to me, reading your post, that you feel under an awful lot of pressure not only the 'normal' stresses of study, but also that your mother has done so very much to help you and you don't want to let her down. We can all understand that! We all know what its like to get behind and then you just don't know where to turn. You can get extensions on your essays, you can get an extension on the actual dissertation if necessary too if there are extenuating circumstances, and having seen the counsellors and if your dept know you're having a hard time then it'll be fine, they will work with you - all they want is for you to pass and for all this to have been so worth it - nobody wants you to crack under the strain and quit and they will do all they can to help you through that!

DON'T QUIT, ok????? Please don't quit! I completed my masters last year and there were a couple of people on my course who were much like you are now - one did quit, she still hasn't got a job, is on the dole, is looking to get back into education this coming year and if you asked her, even though she was at the point of breakdown at the time I know she'd say that you mustn't give up, get help and keep on. The other didn't quit, he submitted late, around December in the end, he'll be graduating with us in July as an MA - same result as those of us who submitted on time, but he got some help.

Go and talk, we're all here for you, we'll all help you anyway we can, but we aren't on site, we can't sit with you in person, we aren't 'experts' but there's always someone online to talk - but you also need proper help and possibly even medical support to help get you through this so you can be Sinead MA at the end of the year :-) (and you WILL be!!!) xxxxxx

======= Date Modified 15 Jun 2009 08:45:41 =======
Really sorry to hear that - how horribly gutting for you :-( As far as I'm aware any accredited university won't accept somebody onto an MA/MSc without having first completed their undergraduate and passing it - it is postgraduate and sadly, as you didn't pass, you can't be a 'graduate'. Don't waste those three years, can you retake your final year? If you want to go on now and further your education then it would be worth is so that you can carry on, another few months is nothing in the grand scale of things, you would need to get a second class degree but that may still be possible. Good luck and I really hope that this all works out for you, I'm so sorry you've had to go through this!

Natassia has offered you some really good advice, get a list, make a timetable and stick to it - make sure the timetable is realistic too, things can take longer than you think they will so make sure you leave some space. It'll be fine, you'll get through it, just get your head down and work, don't get down, that's counter-productive (says she lol, the queen of the downers when under pressure) but seriously, once you have a structure in place, dates to work to, and know exactly what you're doing it'll all feel much more achievable - just go for it :-)

Nope, of course its not too late, or if it is then I'm in trouble lol. I didn't start my BA until I was 34! I did my MA while I was 38 and started my PhD a few days before my 39th birthday - you're ten years behind me! I actually did things the other way around, had my family, a job etc, and then came back to studying, my youngest was only 11 months old when I began my BA so its all do-able :-) I think being more mature has definate advantages so don't worry, go for it, you are most certainly NOT too young, infact there are some students in the 20s in my dept doing PhDs, but the majority of them are 35+ so in my dept you'd be one of the very young ones! :-)

It sounds as though you have some good plans, I really hope that it works out for you - it is terrible that someone can effectively be blocked for having spoken out and I really hope that you don't suffer for that in anyway - they don't tolerate bullying in schools, but for some reason it seems as though its ok in academia (although I must confess I have been so very fortunate in that it isn't something I have seen or experienced!)

My son also suffers terribly with organisation and although he had a statement he was continuously marked down for it and for his handwriting - constantly, I lost track of the times I roasted teachers over it! He is ok in exams in that he can think straight in them and it doesn't affect him too much, but his muscle tone is so low and his handwriting so bad through that and his fine motor skills that I worry that he will suffer as he moves on :-( Dyspraxia is a horrible thing and totally misunderstood and underestimated in its impact in academia!

Well that's good to hear :-) (I think lol) maybe it is 'just' stress then - a lot going on, a lot to deal with, and it can play havoc with you and make you feel v unsettled can't it :-( deep breathing..... happy thoughts.... :-) it all helps, I'd particularly recommend the deep breathing and trying to keep calm :-)